


Menage a Trois

by WritingToSanity



Category: British Actor RPF, Sherlock (TV) RPF
Genre: Drama, Eventual Explicit sexual content, F/M, Romance, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 16:04:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 61,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1785049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingToSanity/pseuds/WritingToSanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benedict moves into a new place, but encounters an unexpected love interest in his housemate's girlfriend. With feelings and tension growing, can they continue to resist each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“You excited?” she flashed him a wicked grin over her mug of steaming tea.

“Are you going to help me?” he ignored her question, heaving the last cardboard box through the front door and to the base of the wheelie bin.

“What if he comes back?” she wondered aloud, not for the first time.

“He won’t.” Koni’s expression was dark as he walked back through the front door.

She shrugged. “Your funeral if he does,”

“What you think I can’t take him?” he teased.

“What, after you chucked all his stuff? He’s gonna be furious.”

Koni pulled a face, so what? Jimmy was an asshole, he deserved it. Plus it didn’t hurt that Koni was twice his size.

“So when’s newbie coming?”

He checked his watch. “Dunno, he said ‘later’, but that could be anytime at all.”

“And he’s deffo not a psycho?” considering Koni’s history of housemates, she was well within her rights to check.

“Don’t think so. I work with the guy so I’m pretty sure he’s alright. No psychotic tendencies yet to emerge.”

“Ooh ‘yet to emerge’?” she asked, setting her mug down and sliding her hands up his shoulder and round his neck, “Am I finally rubbing off on you?”  
He fought hard to keep his thoughts on the shortly arriving newcomer, but as her hands began to wander his attention slipped. “I think you finally are,” he murmured kissing her firmly on the mouth. He felt her smile against his lips.

“So,” She said abruptly, pushing him away by his chest before they became too distracted, “how come he wants to live with you? Obviously hasn’t spent much time with you.”

“Just broke up with his boyfriend, or girlfriend, or whatever.”

“Glad you took such an interest in the guy you’re letting sleep under the same roof as you, and me for that matter.”

Koni seemed unconcerned, scooping up her mug and taking a long swig from it. She eyed him distastefully. “Wanna make the most of the house to ourselves? Might be the last chance we get in a while.” he asked instead.

She rolled her eyes, sighing dramatically. “You only want me for my body,”

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer, setting his lips against the skin of her neck. She supressed a gasp, running her fingers across his neck and into his hair, pulling out the bobble that contained his long dark locks.

A shrill beeping shocked them out of their moment. Koni growled as he pulled the phone from his back pocket.

“Someone has great timing.” Ri said through gritted teeth. But Koni had already answered the call, barking short, irritated answers to the poor, innocent caller on the other end. So she made herself busy, strolling into the kitchen and stacking plates from the drying rack into the cupboard. Muttering to herself about the state of Koni’s chipped crockery.

“On his way!” he called into the kitchen.

“Who?”

“Benedict, the ‘newbie’.”

She turned her torso, flicking the kettle on, and silently hoped the new housemate wasn’t also American. She needed someone around the house who could make a decent cup of tea. “Shall I answer the door?” she hollered back, a wave of inspiration hitting her, “pretend he’s got the wrong place. Or better yet the right place.”

“You gonna be the landlady from hell?” Koni had appeared in the doorway.

“Mmmm,” she rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Or the resident squatter who lives on your doorstep.”

“Ah answer it and start yelling at him in Russian!” His grin was wide, showing white teeth against his caramel skin. She barked out a laugh.

“Oh he’s going to hate living with you.” She shook her head with glee.

They heard a key slot into the door. “Fuck, I forgot I gave him a set of keys.” It swung open, crashing loudly into the wall.

“Shit.” They heard someone hiss in the hallway. Ri was glad to hear he had a British accent.

Koni went to greet his new roomie and assure him that the deep groove in the wall had been there for a while considering the heavy front door collided kamikaze style into it every time it was opened. “…get it fixed but he’s impossible to get hold of. Which to be honest is how we like it.” He showed him into the spacious lounge decorated with a cream carpet and dark fabric sofas.

“Kettle’s just boiled.” Ri called from the kitchen. “Are you thirsty, Benedict?”

Benedict looked at Koni questioningly.

“My girlfriend.” Was all the explanation he was given.

“Tea would be great, thanks.” He called back, his voice deep.

The boys left to unload some of Benedict’s belongings into the house and up the stairs, Ri set the fresh cuppa on the low table in the lounge whilst they brought in most of the heavy things. She poked her head out the door to catch a glimpse of the newcomer but a cough behind her told her he was on the staircase. She spun to greet him and nearly choked on her shock. The tall man before her brushed some dark curls from his forehead.

“Hi,” he grinned, his familiar face creasing with it. Her eyes widened slightly. “Benedict,” he introduced himself, holding out a hand for her to shake. She took it, her small childlike hand getting lost within his.

“Yeah I know! Ri. I’m Koni’s…uh.” She turned to face her boyfriend who was trying to manoeuvre past her. “You didn’t fucking tell me you were moving in a celebrity.” She rounded on him, punching his arm and seeing Benedict colouring slightly in the corner of her eye.

“Didn’t think it mattered.” Koni shrugged, making his way upstairs with his arms full of a bin bag.

“Of course you didn’t.” her weary sigh told Benedict she’d been with Koni for a while, learning to deal with his flippancy. “Right,” she turned back to him “tea’s in the lounge, I’m off for a shower. Make yourself at home, obviously.” She shot him a smile and brushed past him, following her boyfriend up the stairs.

As she met him on the landing she scowled, “You could have warned me, I made a right dick of myself. Benedict fucking Cumberbatch?”

“I told you it was a guy from work,” he had deposited the bin bag in Benedict’s room.

“I thought you meant one of the guys in sound or production, not the goddamn star of the show.”

Downstairs Benedict looked at his surroundings, some of his boxes he’d chucked in the lounge, kitchen supplies and the like, and he pushed one aside to collapse on the sofa.

New place, new housemate.

He sighed loudly, better get unpacking.


	2. Chapter 2

The breakup had been a long time coming, his crazy filming schedule wasn’t always easy to work around and sometimes he was away for months at a time. But it wasn’t just his absence in their relationship that had brought its early end- they had simply drifted, calling each other less, and hardly ever texting. By the time he’d come back from shooting his latest film they had both decided to call it off. In a few weeks he had packed up his stuff and found a place to live. He’d heard from Mark that a guy on the mechanical effects team was looking for a new housemate, his last one having put his foot through the floor after a particularly enthusiastic air guitar solo and consequently been given his marching orders from the landlord. Benedict wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of sharing a house with an arrogant twenty six year old, but for now it would have to do. True it was a little out of London, the commute would be longer than he would have liked, but maybe a change of scenery was exactly what he needed.

So he found himself, the morning after, yawning in his new kitchen, his arms stretched high above his head as he pulled out the kinks in his back and neck.

“That looks like a good one,” a voice from the doorway made him jump and he spun quickly. Ri was stood, leaning against the frame, studying him. “The stretch.” She elaborated at his vacant stare. She pushed herself off with her shoulder and sauntered into the kitchen. “I always feel like I have my life together when I get a good stretch in.”

“Oh,” was all he could think of saying. He was sure Koni had never mentioned a girlfriend, especially one that lived with him. He sat down and pushed his toast into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

“Busy day?” her head was in the fridge.

“Yeah. We’re filming late tonight.”

“Mmm. You enjoy it?”

A grin spread across his face. “Yeah.” His job was everything to him right now. “I love it.”

“Good. I think Koni does too in his own little way. Shame he won’t stop bitching about it though.”

She sighed deeply. Nothing in the fridge, she was pretty sure the cupboards were scarce at best and the cereal perched next to the sink was at least six months old.

“You guys lived here long?”

“Huh?” her mind was still on breakfast and she’d just spied a packet of bagels. They must be Benedict’s, Koni would never be so extravagant. “Oh, Koni’s been here about...” she thought hard, he’d spent a few months in Manchester with her before moving down South, that was last January. “sevenish months?”

Benedict nodded. “And you?”

“Oh god!” she laughed. “I don’t live here.”

“No?”

“Nooooo. No way. I’m at university up in Manchester. No, I just appear at the weekends.”

That explained it. Her lack of belongings anywhere in the house, the tell-tale essence of masculinity throughout the place, the empty food cupboards.

“What are you studying?” this was territory he could handle.

“English Lit,” She pulled a face.

He laughed. “You don’t enjoy it?”

“Oh I adore it! Postmodernism, Writing in Ireland, The Language of Names, The Female Gothic… What’s not to love? It’s all thrilling.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

She sat herself at the small dining table, opposite him. Her stomach rumbled loudly. “Oh this is ridiculous.” She stepped out of the kitchen, through the lounge and into the hallway, grabbing her coat. “I’m off to the shop, do you want anything?” she called upstairs. Koni’s groan confirmed negative. “Benedict?” she called into the kitchen.

“No, no I’m fine. And please, just call me Ben.”

She made her way back into the kitchen to make a mental note of what needed restocking. Her face was screwed up. “Do you mind if I don’t?” she asked “It’s just,” she laughed at her stupidity, “it kind of reminds me of my ex. I’ll call you Bennie.” She decided, nodding to herself and leaving him to it.

***

"You know there’s a momo parked in your drive?" Ri asked as she entered the kitchen, hands full of shopping bags. She may have gone overboard with the supplies, but with Koni’s debit card burning a hole in her pocket, she wasn’t about to let him starve.

Benedict furrowed his brow “Momo?”

“Motorbike.” Koni, who earlier had stumbled sleepily downstairs in his boxers, translated through a mouthful of the ancient cereal.

“Momo." Ri looked at them. “A momobike.”

 "Oh, that’s mine," Ben replied with a grin.

"Aww Koni!" she whined. "Why can't you be as cool as Bennie?" she winked mischievously, peering into his cereal bowl “What did you mix that with, we’re out of milk?”

Koni shrugged. “Water.”

“Neanderthal.”

 “When’s your train?”

“Eleven.” She shoved a bagel in her mouth and groaned. “That’s so good.”

“Pass them over then.” Koni made a grab for the packet.

“You’ve eaten!”

“Stale cereal and water! You trying to starve me to death?”

She threw him the bagels, ruffling his hair on her way out to pick up her shoes. He growled as she left.

Benedict looked on, wondering if that’s what he’d been like a few months ago. Koni saw the focus of his gaze,

“Don’t worry,” he assured him. “she’s not here all the time.”

“Your lives would be drastically improved if I was here all the time!” an angry yell reached them from the stairs, to which they both grinned at.

“I don’t mind.” Benedict assured him. “She seems nice.”

Koni laughed loudly “Nice? Never heard her been called _that_ before. I prefer to think of her as pleasantly feisty.”

Benedict laughed at this. He’d not had a ‘pleasantly feisty’ person in his life for a little while. The closest to that came in the form of Martin, and he’d not seen him for a few weeks now. He really should get in contact with him, give him his new address, and invite him and Amanda round to see the place.

Ri came back, slotting herself in beside Koni at the table. “So, Bennie, you ever used your celeb status to get laid?”

He had chosen that moment to stick a piece of toast in his mouth which he consequently sprayed over the table as he spluttered in surprise. “No!”

            She chuckled. “Bullshit. I don’t believe a word.” She leant back in her chair. “I can see it now, picking out a screaming fangirl or two from the crowd, telling her you’ll show her your “Sherlock”,” she had a wicked smile on her face as Koni elbowed her.

“Leave him alone,”

“I’m only asking. A girl gets curious, you know.”

“Yeah, well.” and that was all he had to say on the matter.

“Terribly articulate my boyfriend, you may have noticed. It’s hard to keep up sometimes.”

“Haven’t you got a train to catch?”

“Sure do,” she stood up, planted a lingering kiss on Koni’s lips and shot Benedict a wink. “Lovely to meet you sweetie,” Ri swung her coat on, fixing up the buttons “See you next weekend.” Koni saw her out to the door, kissing her goodbye again, and then she was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

“So, what’s he like?”

Ri was concentrating pretty hard on Jezza Kyle; some woman with some pretty impressive roots was yelling at her sister for stealing her boyfriend. Jezza, for his part, was sat in his usual spot on the stage telling them how important they were to each other and how they shouldn’t let a guy come between them. He wasn’t so much telling them as shouting it at them. So she didn’t fully comprehend her housemate’s question.

“Huh?” she slowly dragged her eyes from the television screen.

“Didn’t Koni’s new housemate move in this weekend?” Amber looked slightly put out that she wasn’t getting Ri's full attention.

“Oh yeah, he seems alright.” She hesitated slightly. “Koni forgot to tell me he was-” she stopped herself. Was she allowed to tell people that his new housemate was famous? What if people found out she knew where Benedict Cumberbatch lived? She’d be hunted down by every fangirl in Manchester, some of her friends included. “-tall.” She finished lamely.

“What?”

“Yeah, he’s kinda tall. Koni didn’t tell me.” She reached for the remote, turning the volume up in an attempt to end the conversation. Amber wasn’t buying it.

“He’s kinda tall?”

“Uh, yep.”

“Anything else?”

“Probably. I only just met him.”

“Better than Jimmy?”

“A goat would be better than Jimmy.”

“What’s with you and goat analogies lately?”

Ri shrugged, her mind on the following lecture. She couldn’t wait to be talked at for an hour of her life about the lengthy struggles W.B Yeats had with his writing and finding his identity.

***

“Yo roomie!” Koni’s yell came from the bathroom.

Benedict sighed. Four days of Koni was enough to drive anyone up the wall. Sure he was enthusiastic and lively, and he could be a bit of fun, but he was also a pain in the ass.

“Yeah?”

“You working this weekend?”

“Yup.”

“Sucks to be you,” was the hollered reply, oddly distorted by the hollow acoustics in the tiled bathroom. “Was gonna take Ri out for a drink if you wanted to join.”

“Ah sorry.” At least at work he’d get some peace. Though their work schedules were pretty similar they didn’t see much of each other on set. Koni’s job was mainly manhandling equipment around, and Benedict spent his time in front of the camera, so there wasn’t really time to stop and chat.

He was surprised to find himself slightly sad to be missing out on their little outing however. Ri’s not-so-gentle teasing had come as a shock to him last weekend, she had a round, sweet face that exuded an innocent air but her sharp tongue betrayed that image. He’d been pleasantly surprised and he’d found himself wanting to introduce her to people, just to see their reaction as the blue eyed girl winked playfully and tormented them with a voice that dripped sarcasm. He imagined how Martin would take her, maybe he’d finally met his match.

***

The weekend came slower than any of them expected, and Bennie still had a few early hours of shooting on Saturday before his week was over. He was contemplating this when the front door smashed into the wall with its characteristic bang, announcing that someone had arrived. A female groan told him that it wasn’t Koni.

“Ugh what is my life?” Ri flung her bag on the sofa and collapsed on top of it, pulling a cushion over her eyes without as much as a “hello”.

“Bad week?”

“My work got totally _slated_ on Wednesday. All under the guise of ‘constructive criticism’. I’m gonna drop out and just live in your basement.”

“We have a basement?” Benedict asked enthusiastically

Her muffled laughter came from behind the cushion. “Your support is overwhelming.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s my fault for having any ambition in life.” She sighed loudly, rolling over and glancing his way. He had an unfolded newspaper on his lap, his chin resting on one fist and as she met his eye he grinned at her. She nodded to the paper “Are you in there?”

He chuckled “No. I wouldn’t read it if I was.”

“I would! What a wasted opportunity. I’d wanna know what people think of me.”

“I already know what they think of me.”

“Oh yeah,” she drew out her words, fixing him with a mischievous half-grin. “Sexiest man on the planet or something like that wasn’t it?”

“5th.”

“Ah so you do keep up with the Cumberbatch Courier?” her eyes were sparkling now, winding people up was her forte, it was a shame she couldn’t do it professionally. But he didn’t take the bait, only looking slightly amused at her teasing. She rolled back over, glancing at the ceiling. She could do with a drink. “Wanna go get wasted tonight?”

“Think that’s what Koni’s got planned.”

“Ah, fantastic. Two minds working as one me and that boy. Knew there was a reason I was still with him.” She stood, heading to the kitchen to see if there was any alcohol she could get started on. “You in?”

“I can’t,” he shook his head and his dark curls bounced around his face. She didn’t know why but it made her smile fondly “Up bright and early tomorrow.”

“Ooh the joys of employment.” She clapped her hands together. “Koni must like you.” She called into the lounge after a few moments of booze hunting.

“What makes you say that?”

“Well he wouldn’t leave you alone with me otherwise. I wasn’t allowed within a ten mile radius of the place if Jimmy was in on his own.” She appeared at the doorway with a bottle of white wine clutched in her hands. “Think he thought we’d run off together. Mentalist.” She was peering at the label “This yours?” Benedict nodded “Should be careful, this stuff’ll kill you. If you drink too much your taste buds explode on account of it tasting like ass.” He couldn’t suppress a laugh despite her serious expression. A thought popped into her head at the mention of Jimmy. “Do I overuse goat analogies?”

“Do you-? What?”

She shook her head. “Never mind. Just call me out on it if you notice.” She flung cupboard doors open, knowing Koni didn’t stash his drinks with the rice and pasta, but hoping nonetheless that the action would entice some portal to a bar or off-licence. “So, has he driven you crazy yet?” Benedict didn’t answer immediately, he wasn’t about to bitch about Koni to his own girlfriend.

“Bennie?” He’d forgotten she’d dubbed him that, he wasn’t sure whether he liked it yet or not.

“Maybe a little.”

“Ha! You’re far too polite. It took me three days of living with that nutjob to realise that I’d made a horrendous mistake. Took another couple of weeks until I had to physically restrain myself from smashing frying pans into his skull. That’s when he decided it would be best all round if he moved to London.”  
He remembered weighing up the decision of moving in with a girlfriend. It had always seemed like a good idea at the time, the same arguments used each time. ‘They spent enough time together that they may as well live together.’ ‘Whenever they weren’t together they missed each other.’ And the famous ‘It’s what couples do when they’ve been together for X amount of time’.

“Do you miss him? In the week?”

“You’re joking? Monday afternoons when I wave goodbye are the best part of my week. Gives me three solid days to recover before I have to see him again.” She re-entered the lounge, perching on the arm of the sofa “Not that I’m trying to put you off.”

“Bit late for that.”

She laughed “I like you Bennie. You play along.”


	4. Chapter 4

Saturday afternoon had Koni and Ri dragging themselves out of bed, sleepy and hungover. Ri settled herself into the kitchen with Koni’s laptop on the table, intending on doing some work, but instead getting severely distracted by the internet. Koni had the television blaring, and was debating out loud as to whether he should set up the PlayStation.

“Oh my god.” Ri stared at the screen in front of her. “Oh my god.” She repeated slowly, her eyes scanning the words before her, “Oh my god!” she started bouncing in her seat, laughing hysterically, “Koni! Get in here. Come see what you housemate’s been up to!”

He appeared at the doorway. “What?”

She beckoned him over eagerly and he leant over her shoulder, his head inches from hers. His breath was slow and comforting in her ear. “It’s a fanfic. About Bennie.”

Koni’s face split into a grin as they both scanned the short fiction, told from the view of his fictional girlfriend who was dealing -badly- with the fact that he’d cheated on her.

They were still there, cheek to cheek, laughing over the portrayal of Benedict, when he strolled into the kitchen.

“Oh Bennie.” She giggled. “You have been a bad boy. You’re poor, poor girlfriend.”

He furrowed his brow in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

She beckoned him, like she had Koni. “You’ve gotta see this. It’s a real eye-opener.” She rose her brows in mock sincerity.

His curiosity got the better of him, seating himself in the chair next to her. She twisted the screen so he could see it.

“You only physically appear in the first chapter but they talk about you throughout. And don’t skip the sex scene, you’ll regret it.”

He looked, if possible, more confused, and once he started to read colour flushed his pale face.

“I’ll get you a cuppa.” She grinned, standing and flicking the kettle on.

“I don’t want to read anymore.” Benedict’s voice, strained, came from behind the screen several minutes later, “It’s too weird.”

“Did you get to the sex scene?” Ri asked eagerly.

“I really don’t want to read my sex scene.”

“Oho!” Koni laughed, “It’s not your sex scene, mate!”

“Spoilers!” Ri cried.

“What spoilers? He’s not gonna read it!”

“He might change his mind.” A little smile sneaked its way onto her face. “He might be persuaded.”

Koni ignored her. “It’s not you she has sex with. Sorry to break it to you.”

Benedict grinned. “Thank god.”

“Hey! That’s your girlfriend you’re talking about!” she chastised, waggling a disapproving teaspoon at him.

“Very funny,” He didn’t let on exactly how uncomfortable it made him feel. “I’m going to grab a shower.”

***

She had moved into the lounge, the laptop resting on her crossed legs, and was still reading them when he returned, his damp hair curling at the ends.

“This one’s better,” she assured him when he rolled his eyes, “you’re a perfect gentleman. No cheating whatsoever. In fact, she’s a bit of a cock-tease.”

“Just don’t make me read any of them.”

She followed him into the kitchen. “Can I read them _to_ you?”

“No way.”

She sighed dramatically, “You are no fun.” She watched him meander round the kitchen, and he was conscious of her gaze. “Speaking of no fun you should have come out last night. Koni was boring as hell.” She dropped her voice to imitate her boyfriend. “‘Can we go home yet Ri? I’m drunk enough to screw around for a bit.’ My own personal Romeo.” She said dryly.

“Romantic. Your impression wasn’t bad though.”

“Yeah? Want me to do you?” A pause. “I meant an impression."

He let out a short laugh. “I’m ok. Thanks.”

“Suit yourself. Get much done this morning?”

He nodded. “Yeah, finalised some scenes. Had to redo a couple that didn’t come out properly, the sound was off. Then we had some dialogue that wasn’t working out, so they had to have a rewrite of that.”

“Should get me on the case. My dialogue’s killer.”

He cocked his head. “You write?”

“It’s part of my degree. You can take a creative writing module. I’m a pro. Naturally.”

“Naturally. I’ll have words with Mark and Stephen.”

“Great, I’ll call the Uni, tell them I quit.” She glanced at her computer, back in the lounge. Lines of narrative from the fanfiction swam in her head. In retrospect it had probably made him feel pretty awkward. She imagined someone writing about her life, commandeering her words and actions, assuming her reactions based on the little information they knew from media coverage. “Hmmm.”

She didn’t quite know if she’d be flattered or a little creeped out.

She’d gone quiet and her eyes were a little unfocused, like she’d disappeared into her mind. Benedict left her to it, becoming absorbed in his own thoughts, mainly of the day’s work. They’d not managed to get as much done as they’d have liked, the dialogue change had meant a lot of hanging around, trying out the new lines, rearranging them to Stephen’s specifications. They’d barely ended up with an entire scene, and despite Benedict being more than happy to continue through the day, he was alone in that opinion. It seemed his co-stars had made plans, a luxury he’d found himself short of lately.

“Where’s Koni?” he found himself wondering aloud.

“Out back for a smoke.” She shook herself back to the present. “Oh, before he comes back, let me give you my number.” She saw him try to hide a look of confusion. “Just in case something happens, he’s an idiot and I do worry he’s gonna end up face down in a ditch somewhere. At least this way you’ll be able to let me know about it.”

“Sure.”

She keyed her number into his phone and handed it back as the door that led out to the back yard opened. She put her finger to her lips. “Cheers, don’t let him know, he gets funny about that kinda stuff.”

“What’s going on?” Koni asked as he came back, eying the strange interaction.

“Just trying to orchestrate an illicit affair behind your back.”

“Of course you are.”


	5. Chapter 5

“So what happened?”

“With?”

“Your relationship. Kones said you moved in ‘cause you broke up with someone.” She stabbed her fork into a piece of broccoli and shoved it into her mouth.

“Ri. Don’t be an asshole.” Koni growled.

She looked as if she was about to argue, and then her expression changed. “Sorry, Bennie. I wasn’t thinking. It’s just you’re pretty famous, and I’ve not heard of any girlfriend. Or breakup.”

“Have you been Googling him?”

She shrugged. “Uni’s pretty boring right now.”

Benedict interrupted “Look, it’s fine,” he should be used to this by now. “I kept that relationship pretty quiet. I didn’t want the media hype, and neither did she.” He turned to Ri, meeting her bright eyes. “You don’t have to Google me,” he gave a nervous laugh. “If you want to know anything just ask. I won’t be offended.”

“It’s quite fun Googling you actually. You have quite a fanbase.”

“Yes, I do.”

“It’s quite scary actually.”

“Ri, for fuck’s sake stop talking about celebrity shit. I get enough of that at work. So does Benedict.”

“Alright, calm down.” She rose her brows at Bennie. “So how was work?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Koni stood, snatching her plate from under her nose.

“I’m not finished!” she protested, but he wasn’t listening. “Jeez.” She looked at Bennie, “You know what that’s about?” she asked under her breath, as Koni scraped her unfinished food into the bin and washed up loudly.

Benedict shook his head. “He seemed fine this morning.”

“Mmm.” She eyed her boyfriend splashing around in the sink scrubbing the plates with an unnecessary force. “Sometimes I think he’s still going through puberty. He gets those moody, inconsolable teenager days.” As Koni practically threw the dishes into the drying rack and stormed into the lounge, slamming the door behind him, Ri leant back on her chair. “Why, in god’s name, did you chose to share a place with that psychopath? Surely you can live anywhere you want?”

Benedict scrunched up his nose uncomfortably. He didn’t answer immediately, chewing the words in his mouth. “I guess it was a choice of sharing with a friend or moving in with my parents for a while. Which is fine, but, not long term.” She was still watching him. “I didn’t want to live on my own after the breakup.” He shrugged, a little embarrassed.

“Yeah I get it. It’s easy to slip into bad habits when you live alone.” She groaned loudly, “Better go see what’s going on,” and stood up, following Koni into the lounge. “What’s up grumpy pants?”

She perched on the arm of the sofa, winding her arm around his shoulders.

He growled, but her touch seemed to have softened him, as he grabbed her waist and pulled her onto his lap. “I hate my job.”

She tucked his head under his chin “Why what’s happened?”

She felt him shrug underneath her. “Nothing. I just hate it. It’s just not what I want to do anymore. I’m sick of being someone’s pack horse.”

“Then quit.”

“I can’t just quit. I need a job.”

“Then apply for a new one, then quit.” She said it so simply, as if it was that easy. “What do you want to do?”

“Something worthwhile. Something you’ll be proud of me for.”

She tucked her hand under his chin and lifted it so she could look into his eye “I am proud of you. I don’t care what you do.”

He grinned “Good.” He pressed his lips to hers. All he wanted was for her to be happy with him.

“So, new job prospects. Bennie, get in here!” she called into the kitchen.

Benedict appeared at the doorway. “What?”

“Koni wants a new job, we’re gonna find him one.” She slid off Koni’s knee and leant down to pick up his laptop. “What are you good at?”

A lopsided grin slid onto his face, his dark eyes twinkling. “Well I’m sure you can think of a few things I’m good at.” He reached out to grab her but she dodged him, swatting him away with the laptop.

“Behave.” She growled. “This is serious.”

Bennie seemed to have claimed the armchair by the window, so she took the other sofa that was leant against the wall. The laptop hummed loudly as it started up.

“I like kids. Maybe I could do something with them?”

“You’re horrible with kids, Koni.”

“Hey!” he sounded genuinely offended. “Naline loves me.”

“Nelly thinks you’re a bear that was accidentally turned into a man. She humours you because of your sub-human affliction.”

Koni scowled deeply as his tactless girlfriend tapped away on the internet, searching for his new career.

“Who’s Nelly?” Benedict asked, tuning in and out of the conversation. He couldn’t deny Koni did look a little like a bear-man, with his great height and muscled physique.

“My goddaughter.” Ri answered when Koni sat in silence, his arms crossed over his large chest. Her eyes were fixed on the screen, apparently unaware of the great offense she had caused, “Right so you don’t wanna do any lifting type jobs?” she looked up when he didn’t reply. “Koni?”

“Does she really think that?”

“Who?”

“Naline? Does she think I’m a bear?”

“No, she thinks you used to be a bear. Now she thinks you’re a man. Was that a ‘no’ to heavy lifting? Cause you should think about being builder, you’re good with your hands.”

“Why does she think that?”

Ri’s attention had gone back to the screen. “I used to call you Brown Bear behind your back. Ooh you could work in a gym! You love the gym.”

“Why the hell did you call me ‘Brown Bear’?”

“I’ve called you that for years, just never to your face. When you were with Hannah we called her the Polar Bear. But that was because she was a bitch who’d kill you with one swipe.”

“Who’s ‘we’?”

She shrugged, scrolling through job vacancies, her eyes flicking over useless ones and sticking on ones that might suit Koni’s abilities, “I dunno. Me, Nook, Jacob, sometimes Jackson would join in.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Nook was in on it?”

“I think he was the one who came up with it.” She tore her eyes away. “Are you pissed off?” she laughed “Jesus Kones, it’s a nickname, we didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Yeah well now Nelly thinks I used to be a fucking bear.”

She laughed again, but stopped when she saw his face. “Oh come on it is a little funny.”

He glared at her. “No, it’s not. It’s stupid.”

“Bennie,” she turned to him for support, “Do your friends have stupid nicknames for you.”

“Well,” he looked between them, the very last thing he wanted was to be stuck in between a domestic, “not really.”

“But if they did would you be having a little bitch fit about it?”

“I am not having a bitch fit Ri. I’m pissed off that you made fun of me behind my back. And to a child.”

“It wasn’t making fun! It was affectionate!”

“Oh yeah, really fucking affectionate. Comparing me to a beastly killing machine.”

“Whinnie the shitting Pooh was a bear and he didn’t go around massacring the hundred acre wood. Rupert didn’t rip out the throats of his friends. Paddington didn’t go on a killing spree while nipping out for some fucking marmalade.” She couldn’t think of any more famous bears.

Benedict fought very hard to keep a straight face. He wasn’t sure how either of them would react if he burst out laughing, but the ridiculousness of the argument was too much. He was struggling against the phrase ‘fucking marmalade’ which had been spat out with so much venom that he had had to shove his hand against his mouth to stop the laughter.

The couple sat glaring at each other, neither knowing what to say after the outburst. Finally, Ri shut the laptop lid. “Maybe we should look for jobs later.” She reached for the remote and turned the television up to try and drown the silence.


	6. Chapter 6

She hated trains. Like, really fucking hated them.

Mainly it was the people on them, she very rarely got a seat and regularly found herself pressed up against some sweaty stranger for an hour and a half. Then she had to get a connecting train, wait around for twenty minutes in a busy train station, and then force herself onto another one. She ground her teeth the whole way, so that when she returned back at University on Monday afternoons her jaw hurt. She used the train station at the Uni, so she could go straight to her class. As she walked to the building she mused over her disastrous journey, it had been so packed that she’d had to wedge herself in one of the aisles up against a seat. The occupant had taken advantage of her close proximity, and with each movement of his hand against her leg she had sighed loudly, gritting her teeth and balling her fists to stop herself from spinning round and smacking him. She hoped Koni appreciated how much stress she went through every weekend just to spend it with him. And after an hour of Irish history, something completely unrelated to her chosen course, she could sink into her sofa with the TV blaring nonsense. The front door to her house didn’t throw itself into the wall with a vengeance, it just sort of swung open gently and stopped. She sauntered through the hallway and into the lounge where a selection of housemates sat.

“Hi.” She flopped onto the sofa, glancing at the television as it played Millionaire Matchmaker. “What is that?” she had just spotted something on the front of Katy’s laptop, covering the glowing Apple logo, illuminating it from behind.

“Oh it’s my sticker. Wanna see?”

Ri leant closer and felt her jaw drop. “It’s Benedict Cumberbatch.”

“Yeah!”

It was a sticker of Bennie’s face, a wreath of pink flowers photoshopped round his head and a small scroll floated under him reading ‘Cumberbatch’.

“Oh my god.” She breathed, laughing.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. I want one.” She’d stick it on her forehead before she walked through their door on Friday. She nearly opened her mouth to tell Katy. What would her reaction be when she found out Ri had spent the past few weekends in the company of Benedict Cumberbatch?

She probably wouldn’t believe her to start with. Maybe she would after a few more insistences, and then it would begin. The questions, the excitement. She might even pester her until she let her visit, or to try and persuade Bennie to come down to Manchester. What if she made her ask Bennie for an autograph? Or a picture? Oh God she never her the end of it, Katy would insist on Sherlock spoilers she just knew it.

It was best to keep quiet.

***

Bennie yawned loudly, cursing his housemate as he rubbed his eyes. Koni and Ri and kept him up past three am last night.

It had started as quiet murmurings as they talked to each other but had quickly descended into giggling and chuckling, and then he could hear them kissing loudly. Then the headboard of the bed had started banging into the wall, and it had started getting vocal. He could only assume they were making up after their disagreement the day before. A part of him was mildly impressed at their enthusiasm, but mostly he was just irritated. He had heard them having sex before, but it had rarely been as loud or as late, and he had to get up early for work. Thinking about it, so did Koni. And sure enough Bennie saw him later that morning, with drooping eyes, clenching his teeth against a yawn.

“What’s he done now?” It was Martin.

“What?”

“You were glaring at him. Has he left his hair in the plug hole again?” Martin’s smile played wickedly on his face.

“Oh. No,” Bennie grinned back “him and Ri were up late last night.” He rose his brows suggestively.

“Oh right. Is this the girlfriend?”

Bennie nodded.

“I hear him talking about her sometimes in passing. She seems very…energetic.”

Bennie shrugged. “They’re young and in love.”

“And in the room next to you. That must be fun. So what’s she like apart from her impressive libido?”

Bennie squirmed, he didn’t like to think about Ri and Koni having sex, it was weird, they were his friends. “She’s great. You’d like her, she’s ridiculously sarcastic. Almost painfully so.”

“Nice.”

“You and Amanda need to come round. You can meet her if you like.”

“Alright calm down, she’s not your girlfriend.”

Benedict smiled his half smile.


	7. Chapter 7

Ri spent her time travelling between university and Koni and Bennie’s for the next few weeks, until one day she didn’t quite feel herself. She was hanging round in the doorway to her lounge, looking slightly confused.

“Are you alright?” Amber asked.

“Huh?”

“Are you ok?” she asked it slowly as if speaking to an idiot.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” She entered the room just to prove it, sitting herself down. She met Amber’s eye “I don’t know actually.” She amended.

“What’s up?”

“It’s Koni’s housemate he’s…” how did she say it without sounding like an idiot, “really nice,” she laughed.  
“Great,” Amber said after a pause, “and that’s a bad thing?”

Slowly, Ri nodded, as if realising for the first time. “He’s great. He’s intelligent, ambitious, successful, funny… attractive.” She dropped her gaze.

“Oh god you’re not attracted to him are you?”

“No!” She threw her head back and laughed. “God no!” Her laughter turned into another nod. “Yeah, I think I am. Aww shit Amber, I think I am!”

Bennie hadn’t come on to her, he hadn’t shown her the slightest inclination of anything untoward, and he’d been charming and respectful. But she still felt a magnetic pull towards him in the house. She looked forward to going down to London much more than she had when he wasn’t there and at first she believed it was the novelty of having a third person there. Someone to get to know, to bounce off of, to joke around with. Someone who wasn’t tired of her smart-ass attitude yet, who laughed when she answered sarcastically.

“Maybe you’re not.” Amber interrupted her thoughts with her usually rational speech “Maybe you’re just getting a bit bored with Koni, and this guy’s new and exciting. Has anything happened?”

“God no! No way. It’s not like that at all, he’s not interested in me, it’s my problem.”

Amber shrugged. “Maybe you should have some space from him? But I guess that’s kinda hard when he lives with Koni.”

Ri nodded. “Yup. And I’m not gonna just stop going to see Koni cause I have a little crush on his housemate.”

“Hmmm. It might pass? Just give it time. And if not have Koni come up here.”

“Yeah, he’ll never go for that.” Ri pondered, maybe time would snap her out of it. Amber could be right, maybe if she sweet talked Koni she could persuade him to get his ass to see her for once. But with what excuse?

 

She needed a break from Bennie before she jumped him?

She snorted involuntarily.

“What is it about him?” Amber looked pensive.

She grinned. “He’s just…sweet. Not like Koni at all. I’ll get over it.” She would definitely get over it.

Definitely.

“If you say so.”

“No shut up Amber! Don’t say it like that, I will get over it. I have to.”

She hadn’t even begun to approach the issue of his celebrity status. She didn’t think Amber would react well to that little factoid.

It certainly would complicate things, Bennie didn’t have a hell of a lot of privacy, if they started seeing each other-

She stopped herself there. Thinking like that was not helpful.

What they had was platonic, it had to be.

No questions asked.

“Anyways,” Ri shook her head of those thoughts, “are you heading home for reading week?”

“Yeah.” Amber nodded, then her face changed. “You’re not going to London are you?”

Ri shrugged. “Well I was going to.”

“Is that a good idea?”

“What else am I going to do? Hang around here on my own? I’ll be fine.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Hey baby,” she called laid out like a cat on the dark sofa as the door swung open with a bang against the wall. But it wasn’t her boyfriend who walked through the lounge door. “Oh sorry, I thought you were Koni.”

Benedict’s face lit slightly as he clocked her presence. “Didn’t think you’d be here.” She should have left this morning and yet here she was.

“Didn’t I say? I got a week off, so you’re gonna have to put up with me for a little while.”

He grinned. “Tea?”

“Ooh yes please. Thanks.”

When he returned he slid the steaming cup into her hands.

"Cheers," she sighed, blowing off the steam and taking a sip. "Oh god, your tea is so much better than Koni's. I think it’s the American in him."

He gave her a smile that crinkled his eyes.

"So, you working much this week?"

"I'm pretty free, which is rare." He spoke in his usual deep voice, leaning into the back of the armchair, his ankle resting on his knee. "In all day but at least I’ve got the evenings off."

She gave a bark of laughter. "Your idea of 'free' and mine are not the same." she took another sip.

"Mmm," he agreed, sipping his own tea and closing his eyes. He'd not had a cluster of evenings free for a long time. "So what are your plans while you're here?"

"I don't plan to leave the bedroom for much of it." she didn't realise what she had said until Bennie choked slightly on his drink. "Oh God, no." she laughed "I didn't mean that. Jesus! No, I meant I’ll be catching up on my sleep, chilling out, you know."

Bennie nodded, wiping his chin with the back of his hand, she had unwittingly put an indecent image into his head. She laughed quietly.

“Sorry.” She stretched, her arms reaching into the air. “We’ll probably go out to eat sometime, I might do some work.” She shrugged. “Doubtful though.”

***

He wasn't used to coming home to someone in the house. Koni's schedule was possibly even more hectic than his own, so they rarely crossed paths in their domestic lives. But with Ri hanging around, the TV and lights and heating on when he walked through the front door, it was...nice. It kind of felt a little more like home.

"Good evening," he called to her in the kitchen, the smell of something delicious wafting through the house.

"Hi," she hollered back over the radio, and the sizzling of a frying pan. “You in for tea?”

“Yeah.” He hovered in the doorway.

“Lasagne ok?”

“Oh, you don’t have to make me anything.”

“I always go overboard on the ingredients, you may as well benefit.” She half turned to glance his way. “How long have you been living here now?”

“Uhh.” He calculated in his head. “Nearly three weeks, I think.”

“Three weeks?! I barely know a thing about you.” She stirred the pan, and spun to eye him, leaning against the counter. “You single?”

He grinned, this was just like one of his endless interviews, minus the audience and the cameras. “Yeah.”

She nodded. “Thought so, not seen any supermodels sauntering through the door.”

He felt himself blushing under her teasing. “Anything else?”

“Oh yeah, I’m just getting started. Got any kids?” He shook his head, regretfully he had yet to become a father. “Got any…siblings?”

“A half-sister.”

“Mmm, I wish I’d had a sister.” She couldn’t think of anything else to ask him. “You’ll pass. For now.”

“How about you?”

“How _about_ me?”

“Well, have you got siblings? Kids? A boyfriend?” his eyes twinkled.

She smiled. “A brother, no kids and a casual lover. Nothing serious though.”

 

“And how’s that going?” he took a seat.

“Great. We’re thinking of making it official.”

“That’ll be nice.”

She let out a laugh, sprinkling some mixed herbs into the pan. But he wasn’t finished.

“What are you plans after uni? You’ve never said.”

She shrugged. “Find a hole to crawl into and cry for a few years.”

“Not ready for it?”

“Nooo way. Not ready to grow up and join the real world.”

“Do you have any kind of plan?”

She pondered it for a bit. Did she have a plan? “Was thinking about moving down here, getting into some publishing.” She shrugged “At least I’ll know some peeps in London.”

He nodded as the front door opened and Koni made his way into the kitchen. He sniffed deeply, leaning his head around her to peer into the pan.

“Oh God you’re not making lasagne are you?”

“You see that? Talk about ungrateful!”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He wound his arms around her waist, kissing her neck.

“Stop it!” she shrugged him off. “Slag off my cooking and try and seduce your way out of it? Come off it.”

“You know I don’t like that fake stuff.” She pushed his face away and he turned to Bennie. “Has she told you what she puts in it?”

“It’s not poison Koni!”

“Quorn mince. Fake meat.” He shook his head in disgust. “Unnatural.”

“You’re a veggie?”

Ri nodded. “Yup. Nearly ten years now. You’d think someone would be used to it by now.” She chucked the oven glove at Koni, who smartly caught it.


	9. Chapter 9

As Bennie strolled past the door to Koni's room later that day he heard a gasp that caught slightly in the throat of its owner. He was about to walk in and check everything was alright, when he stopped himself at the door that was slightly ajar. From where he stood he could see the end of the bed, over the end of which dangled someone's legs. But it wasn't the legs that caught his attention, it was what sat atop them. Ri was perched on top of Koni, legs either side of him like she was riding a horse, completely naked. She was moving up and down rhythmically, her back arched, eyes closed and lips parted as she softly moaned in pleasure. Bennie didn't know how long he stood and watched her fucking his housemate, his eyes following the gentle bounce of her bare breasts, ears tuned into her sexual whines. He seemed to forget he was staring at a private moment, instead transfixed by the naked girl lost in pure desire, but roused himself when he heard Koni's voice.

"Ah, I love it when you're on top." he mumbled.

"I know you do." Bennie had turned away but he could still hear the smile in her voice. He felt the blush creeping up his neck as he let himself into his room as quietly as possible.

He knew they had sex, he’d heard them enough times.

But seeing it was different.

He didn’t know why he’d lingered so long, the image of her still fresh in his mind.

He shook his head violently. He needed to get rid of it as soon as possible.

As he pulled on his pyjamas he heard the headboard leisurely slamming into the wall. If he burrowed under the covers and rammed the pillow over his head he could drown most of it out. Butsomehow, this time, he didn’t want to drown it all out.

Some parts he still wanted to creep into his head.

He wasn’t entirely averse to having her moans brand themselves firmly onto his memory. He didn’t hate hearing her loud gasps ringing in his ears. He didn’t grind his teeth in frustration at the sound of her loud and long cries as she came.

It had been too long since he’d had sex, he didn’t even want to count the days, the long weeks. He was bored, he was frustrated, and his pain-in-the ass housemate was next door being slowly and loudly ridden by his naked girlfriend.

Sometimes life wasn’t fair.

 

***

 

"Hey," Bennie grinned at his housemate as he strolled past, a box of tools in his arms "I'm heading out tonight, give you guys a bit of time to yourselves." he didn't mention it was because of what he'd previously witnessed that had given him the idea.

"Cheers mate," Koni grinned, setting the box down and sitting himself opposite him. "Where you off to?"

"I've got a date," it felt weird saying it, but wasn’t quite sure why.

"Hey, look at you, ladies’ man. Bout time you got some action."

Koni wasn't that much younger than him, but sometimes their age gap made itself blatantly apparent. Bennie wasn't just after some action, he'd done the whole meaningless sex thing and he was too old for that now. It was time he settled down, found someone who made him actually feel something. Since the breakdown of his last relationship he'd been reluctant to play the field again, but now it was time, he could feel it.

He was getting restless.

"Yeah, maybe," was all he said.

"I'll give Ri a text, let her know we've got the whole house to play in."

Bennie gave a groan "Please don't deface the furniture." The indecent image of Ri was back in his head again, this time on top of the table, the sofa, the floor, every surface it could fit on. "And I am coming back tonight at some point."

"Not if you make it back to hers," Koni winked mischievously.

The bizarre thought of how Ri kept up with the young man's libido sprung into Bennie's mind, and then he assumed that maybe she had an equally high sex drive. He shook his head, the sexual prowess of both his housemate and his girlfriend were nothing to do with him, and he needed to shake all thoughts of either of them in compromising positions.

"Who is it anyways? Do I know her?"

"Yeah, actually," Bennie sat down at the table "It's Abigail from the sound department."

"Oh shit really?" He nodded in reply. "Not bad."

This, Benedict took as a compliment; what Ri lacked in conventional beauty she made up for in spark, and her little beautiful details.

Like her eyes that twinkled when she made a smarmy remark.

Or her bright orange-red hair when it caught the light.

Or her breasts when they bounced up and down as she sat on top of someone when she was-

Whoa! What?

Where did that come from?

No, that wasn’t what he meant. He meant her…her…her nose when it scrunched up as she laughed!

Yeah. That’s what he meant.

“Benedict we’re gonna redo the last scene.”

Bennie looked up, the assistant director, head-set clad, was hovering by his shoulder. He glanced Koni’s way briefly, and then back to Bennie.

“Yeah, sure.” He took a swig of his water and stood up “See you back home.”

Koni nodded, grabbing his box and sloping off to wherever he was needed.


	10. Chapter 10

Filming had run on later than he’d hoped but he’d caught Abigail on his way out.

“Hey, do you mind if we eat a bit later tonight?” He needed to grab a shower when he got back, get dressed, mentally prepare himself.

“Yes, of course.” She’d grinned, tucking her dark hair behind her ear.

He’d jumped into the shower, managing to avoid the inevitable questions and teasing from both Koni and Ri. One leg was pulled into his dark trousers as a tentative knock came at his door. He shoved the other in and pulled it open.

“Oh” Ri’s eyes widened “Sorry to er…” her eyes roved from his feet, up his legs and hovered slightly on his bare chest, settling on his eyes “interrupt. Do you have any painkillers?”

“Er, I think there’s some in the basket downstairs.”

She shook her head “Nah, I’ve used all of them.” Her hand was rammed into the side of her cheek as if trying to contain the pain.

“I might have some in here somewhere. Come in.”

She entered his room cautiously, unsure as to what she would find. She was surprised to see that he still hadn’t unpacked entirely. Several boxes lay unopened in the corner of his room next to a stack of canvases propped against the wall. Before she knew it she found herself next to them and had started rifling through the paintings.

“So what’s up?” Bennie asked, his head in a drawer. “Toothache?”

“Nah, I’m teething. My wisdoms are coming through.”

He turned sharply to face her. “Your wisdom teeth?” She nodded. “God you make me feel old sometimes.”

“Sorry,” she grinned, pulling up one of the paintings and studying it in the light.

“Oh, don’t look at them.” He waved his hand dismissively.

“Why not? Some of them are quite pretty.” She turned the one in her hands towards him. A green glen, littered with multi-coloured flowers and a forest in the background.

“They’re pretty old.”

She didn’t know why he was dismissing the paintings, or why he was blushing slightly. “So’s the Mona Lisa, people still think that’s pretty incredible.”

He shrugged. “I guess.” His fingers touched the edges of the canvases still in the stack.

“So who did them? Anyone famous?”

He grinned. “Sort of.”

“Will I know them?”

Bennie nodded. “Yeah you know him pretty well actually.”

“Yeah?” she racked her brains, trying to recall any painters from her GCSE art years. “Monet?”

He laughed. “Nearly.”

It seemed like he was playing a game, or sharing an inside joke that she didn’t quite understand. Her eyes roamed down to the signature, to see if she could make it out. He was right, it was a pretty old painting, and some of the name had faded into the background. But she could still make most of it out, curled and elaborate “You?” she breathed as her eyes scanned the swooping ‘B’ and the long spiralling ‘C’.

“Bingo.”

She saw the painting in a new light, each brush stroke made by the man standing before her, and she struggled to believe it. Had he really sat before an empty canvas and created what was in her hands? Mixed his own colours, studied the light, the angles, the composition? She felt like she was looking at something very private.

“Really? You painted this?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Jesus Christ, is there anything you can’t do? You’re not a secret ballet dancer are you? Or a concert pianist on the sly?”

He was grinning again. “Nope, just the painting, and I don’t do that anymore.”

“Why the hell not?”

He shrugged. “I don’t really have the time. Haven’t done it in years and I kind of fell out of the habit.”

“Well maybe you should fall back into it.” She looked back down at the painting, still in disbelief that his hands had created it. “You are a dark horse Mr Cumberbatch aren’t you?”

He moved behind her to study the picture in her hand. “I do miss it.” He admitted.

“Yeah?” She spun round to meet his eye, unaware as to how close he was until she nearly smacked into him. “Do it.” She took a step back, so as not to touch his bare skin.

“I just might.” He smiled, wanting to take the painting from her and hide it away. He wasn’t sure he wanted to take it from her hands and perfect each brushstroke before she could look at it again, but a part of his felt nervous that she had it in her grasp.

“Can I see the rest?”

He suppressed a groan.

Show her all of them?

Some of them were too big for her to even pick up. But she looked so enthusiastic and eager to see more, that he let her examine them one by one, unable to keep his eyes off her face. He wanted to know exactly what she thought, and was surprised by some of her reactions. She seemed to prefer his earlier works, when he still wasn’t really sure who he was as an artist, over his own personal favourites that he’d created when he had more experience and substance. At some point he’d put on his shirt, only realising he was half-naked when she accidentally brushed her elbow against his skin.

“This is my favourite.” She picked up one of his smaller works and took it to his bed, sitting down and perching it on her knee. It had cracked when the lower layer dried faster than the one above it and her finger followed one of the imperfections with interest.

The painting was of a park, or a forest, in the autumn. The tree trunks looked like they were on fire with their bright leaves of red, amber and yellow that merged and bled into each other, stretching high on branches that brushed the sky. It had been raining, the ground shone with puddles and wet stones, but the sky was a clear, cool blue. There was an old bench, moss coated and weather worn, badly splintered in some places and atop it lay an abandoned umbrella which too had been severely beaten by the merciless wind and rain. A crack in the paint ran right the way through it, and it somehow made it all the more effective, like the desolation was seeping out into real life.

“Why?” he watched her from the other side of the room as her eyes took in every facet of the painting. He almost didn’t want to hear her answer but her expression was just too curious for him not to know.

She opened her mouth, and then shut it again. She didn’t know why she liked it, she just did. The colours popped out, the deeps oranges were shaded to perfection, the bright reds matched her hair and made it come alive. “The bench.” There was something about that ghostly bench that had her eyes snapping back to it. It was like someone had just vacated it, and their presence wasn’t entirely gone. “It’s creepy. I keep expecting to look back at it and find someone sitting there. And it’s autumn. I love autumn.”

He could see there was more, in her eyes he could see she had so much more to express. But she wasn’t giving him any of it.

“Take it.”

“What?”

He shrugged. “If you want it of course. Don’t feel you have to. But if you like it then it’s yours.”

“I can’t just take your painting. How do you know I’m not gonna flog it on eBay for a fortune?”

“Well I hope you don’t. You’d have my mother to answer to if you did.”

She narrowed her eyes, expecting some trick. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Certain. They’re hardly doing me any good shoved in the corner. It’s nice to see some appreciation for one of them.”

“Cheers, Bennie.” She grinned widely, examining her new painting with glee. Her face dropped. “Hey,” her stern voice caught him off guard, “you’ve not signed this one. You trying to cheat me out of an original?”

He grinned rummaging through the items on top of his chest of drawers till he found a pen. “Here,” he took the painting back and was about to squiggle his autograph in the right hand corner.

The pen was inches from the varnished paint before he flipped it over with a wave of inspiration.

_Dear Ri,_

He wrote

_Because you like creepy benches. And Autumn._   
_Benny x_

She read over his shoulder “Bennie’s with an ‘ie’.” She muttered. He sighed, crossing out the _Benny_ and replacing it with her correct version.

He signed underneath his message. “Now you definitely can’t put it on eBay.”

“Ah I’m sure there’s plenty of bench-loving Ri’s out there who’d die to have your signature.” She winked, her eyes scanning the personal message quickly. “So, any luck with those painkillers?”

“Oh right!” He’d forgotten that’s why she’d entered his domain, she seemed to slot in so snugly that he momentarily forgot she didn’t belong there. “No I don’t think so, sorry.”

She waved him off. “No worries. I’ll get Kones to run out and get me some. It’s not so bad anymore but I’ve got a newfound sympathy for teething babies.”


	11. Chapter 11

“Well don’t you look nice?” Ri commented.

“Yeah and it’s all for nothing.”

“How come?”

“Abi cancelled on me.”

“Oh it’s ‘Abi’ now is it? You two _are_ getting serious.”

“One date, Ri, we’re not exactly moving in together.”

She held up her hands, spinning on her heel and flinging open the freezer. “Two dates in one week looks pretty serious to me. It’s just you and me for tea tonight then. Koni’s working. Again.”

He heard the edge of bitterness in her voice.

“What’s he working on? We’re done shooting.”

“Took on some extra haulage jobs. Running out of money.” She met his eye, she wasn’t embarrassed talking about money to him. Despite the fact he must be rolling in it. “Dating me has its financial strain.” She grinned.

“Consider me warned.”

She smiled into the freezer, pulling out a cheese pizza and waving it at him. “Will this do?”

He looked at it thoughtfully. “I think we can do one better.”

 

Her eyes lit up. “Takeout?”

He couldn’t supress a loud laugh. “I was thinking more of going out to eat. May as well put all this dressing up to good use.”

“Oh.” Embarrassment coloured her pale face. “Sounds good. As long as you’re paying.”

“Well, you did warn me.”

“Awesome. I’ll go find something suitable to wear.”

She didn’t take too long. She had a limited range of clothes in Koni’s wardrobe, so her short red dress would have to do and she dug out a pair of black heels to go with it. With Bennie so dressed up she felt somewhat obliged to make an effort.

“Never been on a date with a hotshot celeb.” She said as she came downstairs.

“Keep it on the down low. Don’t want the paparazzi finding out.”

“My lips are sealed.”

He shot a sideways glance at her. “You look nice.”

She looked down at herself. “Oh, of course. You’ve never seen me in legitimate clothes have you? It’s usually all about the leggings and t-shirts. So where are we going?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he drawled playfully “Pizza Hut?”

She grinned, glad he remembered her quip about Koni. “We taking the momo?” Her face lit up at the prospect.

“Do you want to?”

Her eyes sparkled as she nodded enthusiastically. “I haven’t been on the back of a bike in years!”

“Oh yeah? Did you make a habit of hanging around motorcycle gangs?” The thought made him smile as he imagined her, leather clad, hanging around car parks with hairy bikers.

“All the time. You got a spare helmet?”

“Hmm, sure I’ve got one somewhere.” He raced upstairs, taking them two at a time.

When he didn’t return she followed him up.

“You found it?” She was amused, his room almost turned upside down. She noted he’d hung up some of his oil paintings, some of the ones she’d identified as her favourites.

“I swear I had…” his voice was lost as he flung open the wardrobe. It gave her a degree of pleasure to see him so agitated.

“What about these?” She went to the unpacked boxes, by the stack of his paintings. She resisted the urge to look through them again, instead pulling the flaps of the cardboard open. Bennie turned sharply, the wardrobe door slamming behind him.

“No.”

But she had already peered inside, her slight hands rifling through the contents vigorously. Her fingers slowed as she realised she was prying through several framed photographs, an old toy pig, a few t-shirts, neatly folded, and what looked like a small jewellery box. She slowed her fingers, and removed them completely from the box, feeling like she’d stumbled upon something she shouldn’t have. “What is this stuff?” She heard herself asking.

“Uhh.” His eyes shifted around the room.

“Bennie?” She laughed as she said it, unable to contain her disbelief as he looked so uncomfortable.

“It’s stuff Olivia gave me. After we broke up.”

She nodded slowly. “Is this the ex?” Though she knew full well it was the ex. He nodded. “What you still holding onto this shit for?”

“It’s not shit. That was twelve years of my life.”

“ _Twelve years?_ ” She cried incredulously. “You were together twelve years?!”

“Yeah.”

“What the fuck? Why d’you break up?” She saw his face change. “No, sorry, never mind. But twelve years. Jesus. My parents were _married_ for thirteen.” She let out a whistle. “Sorry.” She sensed his discomfort. She wanted to look in the rest of the boxes, see what other things he had hoarded. But she stood up to remove temptation. Maybe she had been better off snooping through his oil canvases after all.

“How long ago did you split?”

“A little over three years.”

“And you’ve still got all her crap. Bennie! Let it go!”

“I can’t just throw it away. It means something.”

“What? What does it mean? What can it possibly mean if it’s sat in a box in the corner of your room?”

“It’s my stuff.” He said defensively. “I can do what I want with it.”

“Alright.” She held her hands up. “Sorry.” She shuffled slightly, running a hand through her hair. “You find that helmet yet?”

“Maybe we should take a cab.”

“No, come on.” She got on her knees. “Nothing under here I’m not allowed to see.” She gestured to under the bed and he shook his head. She dropped to her stomach, wriggling under the metal frame. It was pretty empty under there, a few stray socks, several cigarette butts she assumed had once been Jimmy’s, a couple of binbags and the elusive helmet. She grinned nudging it with her fingertips so that it rolled out the other side.

“I forgot I put it there!” his voice was muffled from her little shelter. She scooted her way back out and clambered to her feet, brushing the dust off her front.

“Hmm, I probably should have changed after rolling around on your floor.” She picked off a few stubborn pieces of lint and glanced up. “So, the momo?”

He nodded. “Yeah. The momo.”


	12. Chapter 12

Her arms had wound themselves round his torso and as they had skipped the leathers she could feel his body beneath his clothes as they zoomed through the brightly lit streets of London. He was slimmer than she thought as she shifted her hands to get more comfortable and they enclosed his waist. He had mentioned, several weeks ago, that he had to keep to a strict diet for Sherlock, to emulate the lithe, slender detective. But now filming was over, well, she’d make sure he’d stuff his face with as much pizza and garlic bread as possible tonight. She wondered what he’d be like if he filled out more, his body a little thicker with a layer of muscle and fat, a little something more to hold on to. She turned her head slightly, resisting the urge to rest in on his shoulder, the helmet was heavier than she’d remembered and she’d have liked the support. In her immediate vision the skin of his neck between his helmet and his shirt collar was exposed, the smell of his aftershave thick in her nose.

Why did he have to smell so good?

Her eyes became fixated on the pale band of skin that was so close to her face. All she had to do was lean forward an inch and her lips would collide with it.

What would he do if she did?

Crash probably.

She grinned, her fingers involuntarily tightening on his waist, pinching him.

His body stiffened in response.

“Sorry!” she hollered over his shoulder, releasing her grip slightly

He shook his head slightly, vaguely wondering what she was doing back there, but secretly glad she had opted to clutch onto him for support rather than the grab handles. He had to concentrate really hard on the road, on the city, on the other vehicles rather than her slight hands slowly moving around his body, looking for purchase.

She wasn’t making it easy.  
If he wasn’t in control of a vehicle, and her life wasn’t in his hands, he’d have leant back slightly so that their bodies could have touched gently.

The thought alone sent his heart beating faster beneath his well fitted suit.

A red light caught his attention and he squeezed the brake lever hard, slamming them to a stop. Ri surged forwards in her seat, crashing into the back of Bennie, unknowingly fulfilling his wish in a more aggressive way than he had expected.

He twisted his head to the side. “Are you ok? I’m so sorry!”

“Fine.” She mumbled. “Think your shoulder blades punctured my boobs though.”

He turned his head back, hoping she hadn’t caught the blush on his face. The last thing he needed to think about was her breasts pushed up against his back.

She shuffled back onto her elevated pillion seat, repositioning herself before they zoomed off. Or Bennie tried to fling her over the handlebars again.

Soon enough they pulled into the carpark of a building that looked like an over inflated holiday villa.

“Nice!” she grinned as she clambered off, pulling her helmet off and shaking her head.

He smiled back. “Sorry about the traffic light fiasco. I got distracted. Are you sure you’re alright?”

She nodded. “Yeah, takes more than some unexpected traffic lights to kill me.”

“Maybe I was right about taking a taxi.”

“You’re joking? That was great!” she gripped his forearms enthusiastically. “Ugh! Let’s do it again!”

He laughed. “Shall we eat first?”

Ri rolled her eyes, glancing at the bike forlornly. She could feel the adrenaline surging through her veins like a drug, she wanted to run a lap of the carpark, or take the reins herself and swerve through the Friday night traffic. “Fine. But I’m driving home.” She released him from her grip, realising she’d left little crumples where her fingertips had dug into his coat.

“Not a chance!” he spun her round, guiding her towards the door to the restaurant with a lightly placed arm around her shoulder. “Do you even have a license?”

She shrugged, her shoulder bumping into his arm. “I’ve got a provisional. But I had a moped so it’s all good.”

“A bike’s a bit different.”

She jabbed a finger sharply into his ribs. “Sorry, Dad.”

“Shh! Don’t call me that!”

She went to wind her own arm round his waist and had to remind herself, last minute, that it wasn’t Koni she was strolling through a carpark with, but his housemate.

“Good evening!” a man dressed in a smart black suit, complete with bowtie greeted them at the door. “Do you have a reservation?”

Bennie pulled face. “Actually. I forgot to book.”

Ri rolled her eyes. “Look, we’ll be super quick and…” she glanced around, dropping her voice conspiratorially “he is famous.” she jerked her thumb at Bennie.

“Ri!” he exclaimed. “I’m sorry, she’s joking!”

But the concierge was squinting slightly, eyeing up Bennie. “You know what, I think a table might be free for an hour or two.” He winked, beckoning a waiter over and handing him two menus,

“Enjoy Mr. Cumberbatch.”

As they were led into the restaurant Ri snorted, “Didn’t think that’d work. All the doors open when you’re Hollywood though don’t they?” She elbowed him.

“That was highly embarrassing.”

“Yeah, so was you forgetting to book. We should do that more often, you come out looking all humble and we still get stuff. Win win.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Why, thank you.”

Their chairs were pulled out, menus placed in front of them and serviettes fluttered out of their intricate designs and placed on their laps.

“Would you like to see the wine list?”

Ri shook her head. “No thanks. But I’ll have a vodka and lemonade, please.”

“Sir?” the waiter turned to Benedict.

“Mmm, I shouldn’t really. I’ve gotta drive you home.” He nodded at Ri.

“Nah. We’ll get a taxi back. We can pick up the bike tomorrow.”

He grinned. “Well in that case! What do you recommend?”

“The red Chianti is always a great choice.”

Benedict nodded. “Then I’ll go for that.”

The waiter nodded, sneaking a glance towards Bennie before disappearing with their drinks order.

“Got a fan there.” Ri grinned over her menu. But he didn’t return it. She sighed loudly, placing the menu flat on the table and looking him straight in the eye. “Alright, maybe I shouldn’t have usedyour celebrity status to get us a table. But I was actually joking, he was the one who went for it!”

He shrugged, “It’s fine.”

She shuffled uncomfortably in her seat, she hated apologising, admitting she was wrong. “And while we’re on the apology train, I’m sorry about before.”

“Before?”

“With the boxes.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I can’t stop stupid stuff from coming out of my mouth.”

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“No, it was stupid, I wasn’t thinking. I should have been more delicate.”

“Really its fine. Maybe you were right.”

“No. Never say that. I’m never right. But don’t tell Koni.”

He grinned.

 

“There!” she pointed at him. “You smiled, I’m off the hook. But seriously, you’re not mad at me are you?”

“No, I’m not mad.”

“Good. I bet you’re scary when you’re mad.”

“Well you don’t wanna find out do you?”

She giggled. A hand, snaking over her shoulder made her jump, but as it was holding her drink she forgave it. “Thank you!” she picked it up as soon as the waiter’s hand left it, taking a long gulp. “Mmmmm.” She licked her lips over-enthusiastically as Bennie was handed his dark wine.

“Are you ready to order?”

Ri shook her head. “We were too busy apologising. Give us a few more minutes?”

“Of course.”

“What are you getting?” she hissed across the table.

He unfolded the menu, scanning his options. “I’m not sure.”

“You can chose what you want, no more Sherlock diet.”

He closed his eyes in bliss. “Yes!”

“So pizza- extra cheese, garlic bread, a side of chips and three bottles of wine?”

He laughed. “That's a little excessive.”

“Why? That’s what I’m getting.”


	13. Chapter 13

“Would you like to try the wine?”

She pulled a face. “What, you mean the liquid poison?”

He grinned. “Not a fan?”

“No, I prefer my grapes unrotting thank you.”

“It’s a good year. 1993.”

“That is a good year.” She nodded in appreciation. “It produced me.”

Bennie choked on the sip he’d just taken. “What?”

“1993. A great year for wine and humanity.”

He shook his head. “You need to stop making me feel so old. You know what I was doing in 1993?”

She shrugged. “Getting laid?”

He burst out laughing then glanced around to check they’d not disturbed anyone. “Is that all you think about?” he chastised.

“No,” she looked thoughtful, “I think about pizza too. And chocolate cake, I think about that a lot.”

“So sex, pizza and cake?”

“Not necessarily in that order but yeah, that’s pretty much me in three words.” She grinned widely, her teeth showing. “Go on, what were you actually doing in 1993?”

“Doing my A levels.” He grinned.

Her eyes widened. “Wow, and there I was being born. Were they even called A levels in them days?”

He nodded, taking another sip of his wine. “You’re missing out. It’s Tuscan.”

“Go on then.” She rolled her eyes, leaning across the table to take his glass. She put it to her lips, taking the tiniest of sips of the dark red wine, careful not to mark his glass with her hastily added lipstick. It wasn’t as bitter as she imagined, and it tasted less vinegary than she remembered, so she took a bigger gulp, swallowing it quickly just in case it changed flavour in her mouth. She shrugged. “Not bad. I’ve had worse.”

“Not the glowing review I was expecting.”

“God, I’ve been doing something wrong if I strike you as someone who gives ‘glowing reviews’.”

He grinned as she cast her eyes around the place.

This was no Pizza Hut.

Candlelight cast the room into a mysterious semi-darkness, emulating a twilight-esque feel. The restaurant was filled with intimate round tables, the kind of place reserved solely for couples. And it seemed the waiters were trained to appear at perfect moments, filling up glasses and removing plates like phantoms, never interrupting an intense eye-stare or a gentle hand-hold.

“God this place is unreal,” she hissed as a giant pizza floated past their table and was set down before a couple who were sat by a mural depicting a lazy Italian village. To their right was a window that stretched from floor the ceiling, decorated with heavy red curtains, artfully draped.

The waiter, who’d taken their orders not twenty minutes ago, arrived with two pizzas, groaning under the excess ingredients and extra cheese. He set them down on the small table, the crusts touching each other.

“Can I get another drink?” Ri asked with a dazzling smile.

“Of course. The same?”

She nodded. “This pizza. Oh my God, I think I’m gonna die.”

“Death by pizza. Not the worst way to go.”

“Indeed.” She debated sticking her fork into the gooey, doughy masterpiece before her, but decided instead to scoop it up in her hands. Easier to shove more in her mouth. The first bite was glorious, the melted cheese was as hot as lava and her tongue was burnt in seconds, but she didn’t care as her teeth sank into the soft floury dough. An involuntary moan, long and low, escaped her. “This pizza.” She whispered.

He grinned widely. “Good?”

“Unbelievable. How’s yours?” she glanced at his pizza, untouched as he watched her own pizza appreciation.

“Gimme a chance.”

“Alright then.” She folded her arms, eying him up.

He glared back under her scrutiny. “You’re making me nervous.”

“Bullshit!” she exclaimed. “You perform in front of cameras and crew and audiences all the time, but you can’t eat a slice of pizza if I’m watching?”

He shook his head. “Stop it.”

She flung her hands up. “Alright,” she purposefully eyed the ceiling. She wasn’t surprised to find that it too was flawlessly decorated. “Is there anything sub-par in this place?” she asked the roof.

“Mmmm,”

She flicked her eyes back down at his mumbled reply to see his mouth stuffed with pizza, cheese oozing out of his mouth. She laughed loudly. “I think you took on more than you can handle.” He tried to laugh and choked on the stringy cheese.

“Sorry!” she cried, trying not to smile, pushing his glass towards him. “Chew,” she instructed, “then swallow.”

Slowly, he complied with her suggestions, swallowing loudly and taking a long swig of wine afterwards. “Do you see why I didn’t want an audience?”

She nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you’re a fucking mess. Who can’t even eat a slice of pizza?”

“Told you.”

“I don’t know if we can be friends anymore.” She lowered her voice as a waiter appeared, a bottle of the Chianti already uncorked and poised by Bennie’s glass.

“Another sir?”

“No, thank you.”

“Yes, he will.” Ri nodded to the waiter. “You’re gonna need some booze if you’re gonna eat the rest of that pizza. Thinking about it so will I.”

He took it cautiously from then on, only biting small slices so as not to asphyxiate himself on carbohydrates. Until Ri started speaking again.

“So what’s the deal with this Abi chick?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well after your first date you told me you weren’t ready to be dating. And now you’re setting up more with her? I know I’ve not known you that long but…that seems a little weird.”

“Sometimes when you get a connection with someone…” he shrugged

“Yeah I get it. But what changed? You didn’t seem so keen.”

“I need a distraction.” He’d said it before he could stop himself. And when her eyebrows shot up in surprise he knew how it had sounded.

“Wow.”

“I didn’t mean-“

“No, no, you do what you need to. Just remember she’s probably in it for more than a distraction.”

“I know.” It was odd being chastised by her, a girl nearly twenty years his junior.

There was a strained silence between them.

“What do you need a distraction from anyways?” she pushed. “I mean you’ve got it pretty good the way I see it. Great job, financial security, nice house, bearable roommate, his incredible girlfriend visiting you every weekend. You got it made.”

A small smile played on his lips. “Well when you put it like that it does seem kind of silly that I’m pouting over something I can’t have.”

She narrowed her eyes, detective mode activated. “What can’t you have?”

Bennie shook his head. “Nothing, it’s not important.”

She sat back in her chair, studying him for a long while. She finished her slice of pizza before she spoke again. “You’re a good guy Benedict. I know you are. And you really don’t strike me as the type to string some poor woman along to distract yourself from something that’s ‘not important’. I think it’s very important to you.”

He mulled it over, nodding slowly. “Yeah you’re right. It is very important.”

What could mean so much to him?

And why did she care so much?

Cracking him, figuring him out was so interesting, she just wanted to know everything about him, all his secrets, every thought that popped into his head. Why was he acting so out of character?What could possibly make him use this Abi as nothing but a meaningless distraction?

“Oh my god is there someone else?” the look on his face confirmed it. She felt a peculiar twinge that she identified, with shock, as jealousy.

And was caught out by it.

She couldn’t be jealous of Bennie’s mystery woman, because all there was between them was a good friendship, with a little teasing and fake flirting.

And maybe a tiny bit of real flirting.

And then there was that slight sexual tension that lingered sometimes when they met each other’s eyes or brushed past one another.

But it was all a game really. It was all in good fun.

So why had she all of sudden lost interest in knowing every little aspect? Suddenly the thought of him talking about this woman at length, divulging every detail he had carefully collected about her, made her feel kind of queasy.

But she couldn’t drop it there. He knew her curious nature too well to not become suspicious at her abrupt lack of interest.

“Why can’t you have her?” she heard herself ask, as if from another world away.

“I shouldn’t be talking about it really. It’s just some… crush.”

“But…?” she coaxed.

He gave a long sigh. “She has a boyfriend, so she’s unavailable.”

Well at least this crush of his couldn’t have him either.

“Can I have some more wine?” she asked loudly, if only to drown out the thoughts in her head. He nodded, slightly bemused at her new taste for the liquid she had previously whole-heartedly dismissed. She leant her hand over, picking it up and taking a long gulp, more than she had planned, but grateful to the slightly numb buzz it sent through her body.

“Shall I get a bottle?” he suggested as she put his glass down before him, only a sip left in it.

“No I don’t like wine.”


	14. Chapter 14

At some point in the conversation it had turned to Benedict’s career.

“You’ve played like everything there is right?”

He chuckled. “I’ve definitely played some fantastic roles.”

“Who’s your favourite?” she took his newly refilled glass of wine, taking another sip.

He sucked in air, thinking hard. He’d been asked before, in roundabout ways. “Ooh, I don’t know. I love being Sherlock, he’s so interesting but I don’t know if he’s my favourite. Christopher Tietjens was such a great guy, he was just kind of quietly brave, I aspire to be more like him.”

“Nope,” she shook her head. “Just ‘cause you liked the guy doesn’t mean he was the best you’ve played.”

He laughed, he wasn’t getting away with an easy answer. “Maybe Khan, I secretly like playing the bad guy.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah you’d make a good baddie. You’re so nice in person it translates well.” He pulled a face. “What?”

“It’s just the word ‘nice’. It’s kind of… boring isn’t it?”

“Yeah maybe.” She pondered it. “You feeling boring in your old age?”

“Shut up, as if you don’t make me feel old enough with your wisdom teeth and your 1993 birth!”

She threw her head back and laughed.

The sight sent a thrill of pleasure though him, he loved that she had no qualms expressing herself.

“Maybe we should get a bottle.” She cast her eyes round for the waiter.

“Yeah? Have I converted you?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

With a subtle wave a waiter materialised. “Can we have a bottle of the Chianti?”

“And another glass?” Ri chimed in. “How are you tackling that pizza?” she teased. He shot her a look which she ignored, but decided to change tack. “So what’s next for you in the acting world? Are you free for a while or do you have some super-secret projects lined up?”

“Super-secret projects.”

“Knew it. Are you going to tell me about any of them?”

“You know I can’t.”

“And I can’t charm any out of you? Strike a deal of some sorts?”

He took a sip of his wine, set the glass back down and licked his lips. “What did you have in mind?”

Ri scratched her head, glancing around the room for inspiration. “Well,” she leant close, lowered her voice as if sharing a secret, “I have some really old Pokemon cards that’d be worth a fortune today. Like, I’m talking at least,” she dropped her voice to a whisper so he too had to lean in close to catch her words, “£20.” Her brows rose. “I can cut you in if you give me what I want.”

“Well that is tempting. I mean the things I could do with a tenner. The possibilities! But I’m going to have to decline. My agent would kill me.”

She rolled her eyes. “I guess he can have a percentage if he has to. But it’s coming out of your half!”

***

As the wine consumption increased, the questions became more honest.

“Got any tattoos? I didn’t stumble upon any on your Wikipedia page.”

He screwed up his face. “My Wikipedia page? Good God.”

“Don’t avoid the question.” She growled looking over her wine glass at him.

“No, no tattoos.” He took a long swig, closing his eyes as the flavour took a while to register on his intoxicated taste buds.

“Want any?”

He chuckled. “I’m too old for tattoos.”

“None of that talk now, Benedict.” She scolded. “You’re never too old for a bit of ink. Let’s go get some, after this.”

He didn’t know if she was joking or not. “I think I’ll survive.”

“Spoilsport. We can get matching ones. ‘Ri and Bennie.” She spread her hands out in front of their faces.

He shook his head. “Nah, it’d have to be alphabetical.” He winked and she snorted.

“Fine. ‘Bennie and Ri.’ It’s got quite a nice ring to it don’t you think?”

“Yeah. Yeah it does.” She met his eye and for a second it seemed as if they were thinking the same thing. “How about you?”

“Hmm?”

“Tattoos? Have you got any? Do you want any?” he tipped the bottle into his wine glass, stretching over to fill hers too.

She shrugged. “Not found anything I wanna put on my body forever yet. Maybe a cup of tea.”

He nodded enthusiastically. “Yes! Do it.”

She giggled. “You’re on. I will if you will.”

She put her hand across the table ready for him to shake it. He eyed it for a moment, then in drunken stupidity took it, shaking it vigorously. “You’ve got a deal Miss Solomon.”

“Brilliant.”

He opened his mouth and closed it, mimicking a goldfish which set her giggling loudly.

“No, go on,” she insisted through fits of laughter. “What were you going to say?”

He scowled, folding his arms across his chest until she fell silent. “I don’t want to tell you anymore.”

 

She nudged his shin under the table with her foot. “Go on, don’t be mean. I wanna know.”

“Do you want…” he met her eye through a fuzzy haze of intoxication. She had risen a brow in anticipation of his question. “dessert?”

“Did we not discuss my three defining features earlier? Sex, pizza and cake, remember? At least two of the three are happening tonight and we’ve just had pizza.”

For one microsecond he thought she was propositioning him and he opened his mouth to reply, only to realise she was talking about cake. “So sex?” He asked jokingly.

She laughed. “Not that kind of date Bennie.” She had a twinkle in her eye and he wondered if she was thinking about what it would be like to fuck him.

She found that she was, but pulled the dessert menu closer to her, trying to concentrate on sorbets and parfaits rather than the curve of his shoulder and how his dark hair was begging to be ruffled by some rough sex.

The words before her were blurry slightly, and she couldn’t decide why ‘tiramisu’ was suddenly so funny, but she had to clamp her mouth shut to stop her from giggling at it. She caught his eye over the small menu and gave a short sharp laugh that she tried to smother.

“What?” he laughed back.

“”I don’t know!”

***

“I totally should have got yours.” She said eyeing up his banoffee pie. “Don’t get me wrong chocolate cake, right? But that looks fit.”

He scooped a chunk of the sweet desert, bringing it over the table and to her mouth.

Her eyes widened. “You sure?”

He nodded, raptly watching as she opened her mouth and enclosed it around his fork, closing her eyes in pleasure. She pulled her head back slowly, to get the last scraps of pudding off the fork. She moaned as she leant back in her chair, her tongue flicking out to catch a crumb on the side of her mouth.

He was a little turned on.

“Ah that is good. It’s kicking my chocolate cake’s gooey ass.” She in turn jabbed a chunk and brought it over to him. He kept eye contact as he slid it off her fork with his mouth, hoping to entice in her the arousal he was feeling. But she just grinned as the melting fudge dropped onto his chin.

He groaned, his seduction failing and pushed off the chocolate with the back of his hand. She shook her head, half standing to lean across the table, and dragged her thumb over the smear on his skin until it was gone. Then she sat back down, sucking the fudge off her thumb.

Surely she was doing this on purpose?

“You’re a drunken mess.” She giggled, taking another swig off her own drink, if only to catch up. But as she did she felt dizzy with the simple tipping of her head, and vaguely thought that maybe she didn’t need to catch up at all. “But isn’t yours better?” she nodded at the banoffee pie, half demolished on his plate.

“Definitely.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Koni will be home. We have to be super quiet.” she whispered, putting a finger to her lips, but missing and poking herself violently in the cheek. They both laughed hysterically, clutching onto each other as they doubled over on the doorstep.

  
Through some miracle Bennie managed to unlock the door and they stumbled in, flicking on lights to guide their way.

"You," she poked his chest, "make a good date." She staggered into the kitchen in the direction of the kettle, her favourite place in the house. "If this was a real date I’d have jumped you by now."

He replied with a throaty chuckle. "Maybe should have given the wine a wider berth though."

"You weren't saying that an hour ago." he called to her.

"Oh ha-ha. If someone hadn't kept filling up my glass..." She poked her head round the door, waggling her eyebrows. She ducked as a cushion flew at her, "Hey! For that no tea!"

She soon gave up after having misplaced the milk several times, forgetting to both click the kettle on and fill it with water, and pulling out a glass instead of a mug.  
Instead she plonked herself wearily next to Bennie, only vaguely noting through a drunken haze that he had opted to sit on the sofa rather than his usual armchair by the window. Ri kicked off her heels which clattered loudly on the wooden floor.

"So," his voice broke the silence, "you'd have jumped me by now?"

She burst out laughing, "Yeah, something you're well used to by now." She slapped his knee.

"Ah, don't believe everything you read!"

"Please, it's that look in your eye."

"What look?!" He sounded deeply affronted, but there was a smile playing on his lips.

"Oh I see you sometimes, surrounded by screaming girls and women you've got a little twinkle. You love the fact that they'd crawl into your lap and rip off your shirt in a heartbeat if you let them."

He was momentarily speechless, and found himself wondering, for only a second, if she was one of those girls. "Well, maybe if I brought them to the set…" He shrugged, a mischievous grin breaking out.

"You're terrible!" She punched his arm playfully. "You think you can get away with anything with your gentlemanly reputation but I know better. You can't fool me!" She waggled her finger at him in mock reproachfulness.

He caught her wrist to stop her. "And what, exactly, do you know about me?" His voice was suddenly low, catching her attention. His grip wasn't tight, in fact it was feather light, his fingers barely touching her skin, and if she pulled away gently she would just slip right out of his grasp.

"Well," she replied in that same quiet voice, her breath catching in her throat as his thumb began tracing slow circles on her skin, "I know you're trouble." Her voice dropped to a whisper, her finger pointing at him again. His hand moved from her wrist, slowly sliding up her arm. "Aaaaand you're not as sweet as everyone thinks." She narrowed her eyes, leaning so close to him that they shared their breath. "Just look at you now," her eyes sparkled, his hand had ventured to rest on her neck, a finger stroking her jaw, "feeling up someone else's girlfriend."

His eyes refocused and he lowered his head, slipping his hand from her. "You're right. How terrible of me."

"Don't worry about it. I'm irresistible, I know."

"Yeah, modest too." He grumbled, trying to cover the sobering embarrassment that was slowly sinking in.

Thankfully, she laughed. "My finest quality." She groaned, leaning her head against the back of the sofa. "I need to go to bed."

She stood on wobbly legs, tripping over her discarded shoes and angrily kicking them to the side. "Night." She leant down to kiss him fondly and caught him swiftly and firmly on the lips. Ri pulled back quickly in surprise, opened her mouth to garble an apology and caught his eye. They were still close and although she was swaying slightly, she could see every facet of colour in his pale eyes, from the minute splatters of emerald green to the bright, light blues. Her skin still tingled from his touch and before she knew what she was doing she'd pushed her lips back against his to feel it again.

He responded enthusiastically, his hands seeking out her hips and pulling her further into him, opening her mouth with his and slipping his tongue inside. She let a moan escape, her fingers finding his chest and she let him pull her closer, straddling him, their bodies meeting. Bennie's kisses were urgent as if they were running out of time and he tried to hide his desperation for her, but with her on his lap, running her hands up his shoulders and through his hair, he had difficulty restraining himself. They broke apart momentarily for breath, only for him to return, this time to her neck, nibbling at the tender skin there. Making her give sweet little gasps that sent her rocking her hips into his.

"Ri." He breathed as her rhythm picked up and he tried to suppress deep moans. "Oh God please...don't." He didn't want her to stop, he never wanted this to stop, but he knew if he let her carry on he wouldn't be able to contain himself, he would have to have her.

She shut him up with another kiss, and his doubts soon left his mind when his hands found the bare skin of her back. His fingertips buzzed with electricity as they traced her flesh, surely leaving red hot rivets behind in the tender skin. She shuddered under his touch and broke the kiss again, leaning her forehead against his, both slightly panting,

Then reality caught up with her, snapping her back into the present. She became acutely aware of Bennie's warm hands under her dress, caressing her skin and even more so of him growing hard underneath her.

She blushed furiously at her realisation, pushing away, shocked at her weakness. Her hand flew to her mouth "Shit," she hissed from between her fingers "I'm sorry." she mumbled clambering off him ungracefully, though now totally sober. She tried not to look at his crotch, where the material of his dress pants strained, but couldn't help glancing before tearing up the stairs and slamming the door to Koni's room behind her.

***

Something was tapping somewhere outside of his head, and although he could tell it was gentle, it sounded so much louder to him.

It ceased and he groaned loudly, turning over and glancing at his bedside clock. It was half eleven, three seconds of utter panic flooded his being before he realised that he did indeed have the day off work. He sighed loudly in relief and noticed the tapping was back. It took him a moment to realise it was someone knocking tentatively at his door.

The door creaked open and Ri poked her head in. "Hey," she whispered, "are you awake?"

"Yeah." His voice was suspiciously hoarse, what had they been drinking last night?

Ah yes, the wine. Glass after glass of the stuff, until they'd been laughing so loudly they thought they ought to leave the restaurant. Then they got home and-

Oh shit.

That's when she'd kissed him, and climbed on top of him, and rubbed herself against him until...

Colour flooded his face as he remembered how turned on he'd gotten, how he'd nipped at her neck and kissed her furiously, desperately, and how his hands had found her warm, warm skin. He saw his embarrassment mirrored in her expression as she edged further into his room.

"Peace offering?" She said sheepishly. It didn't fit, he'd never seen her so unsure in his life. She was holding out a mug of tea and a plate of toast. "Thought you might need some nutrition after last night." He noted the banana next to the toast. He took them from her gratefully. "Look, I'm really embarrassed," she blurted, perching herself on the end of his bed, "I really don't know what came over me, I swear I’m never drinking wine again. I just wanted to apologise."

He shook his head and held up a hand to stop her. "It was as much my fault as yours. I didn't exactly...push you away." He glanced away.

"No," she admitted, "as I recall I think you pulled me in." She teased, some of her old spark back. "Sorry, too soon?"

He grinned nonetheless. Then grew serious. “I would never have done that if it weren’t for the wine. I would never kiss someone’s-”

She stopped him with a shake of her head. “It’s best if we just put it behind us. So we cool?" He nodded. She sighed in relief "Thank god! Oh, and we don't need to tell Koni about this."

"Agreed." He didn't fancy breaking the news to his tank-like housemate that he'd groped his girlfriend.

She grinned gratefully. “Well that’s a weight off!” She lay down on his bed. “So apart from our drunken discrepancy I had a good time last night.”

He took a sip of his drink, sighing as the warm liquid slid down his throat. “Me too.”

“I felt like I got to know the ‘real’ Bennie.” She glanced over at him, her gaze lingering a little too long on his mouth. Her eyes flicked back up. “Super tired though. Could do with a couple of weeks in bed.” She turned on her side, curling up into a ball, her head resting on her arm. A long yawn escaped from her mouth and she closed her eyes. “You think Koni will be pissed if I fall asleep here?”

“It’s probably not a great idea.”

“Mmm.” But she was already drifting between states of conscious. His bed was soft and still warm from his body heat, and his rhythmical breathing was soothing her to sleep. She could stay here all day if either of them would let her.

But she forced her eyes open, stifling another yawn. “Right. I’m off before grumps wakes up and finds me in another’s man’s bed.” She squeezed Bennie’s shoulder, and rolled herself off the bed. “I dread to think of that aftermath. Catch you later.”

And she left him to ponder to his thoughts.

So maybe his attraction to her wasn’t as one sided as he’d thought. Sure he’d dragged her body into his without a second thought, but she had been the one to instigate it. He’d seen her eyes, inches from his, as she made the drunken decision to kiss him again.

Had she been wanting to do it for as long as he had?

Or had the copious amount of that glorious Chianti momentarily clouded her brain to unreasonable proportions?

He’d like to think it was the former, and that all they’d needed to act upon their desires was a little liquid confidence.

Whatever the reason, he knew that would be the first and last time for them both. All he had left was the memory of her skin under his fingers, and the feel of her hot breath in his mouth.


	16. Chapter 16

That evening she sat up suddenly from Koni’s chest, where she was cosily nestled, “We were meant to get your bike today.”

Bennie shrugged. “I’ll pick it up tomorrow.”

“It might get nicked.”

“Did you s _ee_ the place we were at? It’s not the kind of haunt momobike thieves frequent.”

“It might get towed.” Though she grinned at his use of her childhood nickname.

“I think it’ll be alright.”

She shrugged, settling back into Koni, whose arms snaked round her.

Bennie glanced towards the television. “I’ve got an interview tomorrow night, are you going to watch it?”

“Yeah, what’s it for?”

“Just some Sherlock promo. Third season starts in the New Year.”

“You excited?”

He grinned despite himself. “Yeah a little. Are you?”

She met his eye. “Sorry, am I not being enough of a fan girl around you? Should I be jumping you whenever Koni leaves the room?”

Bennie’s eyes widened significantly, she was playing a dangerous game, and a part of him thought she might be enjoying seeing him squirm.

“I guess you won’t need me jumping you soon enough anyways.” She mused. “Once Sherlock’s back up and running you’re going to be back on the Hot lists right?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

Koni snorted. “You love it. Who wouldn’t?”

“Gonna have screaming fans following you home, shoving cameras in your face.”

“Might have to change the locks, keep the curtains drawn all day, wear masks outside.”

“Will you two shut up!” He’d forgotten about the die-hard fan attention. Sure he got it now and again, but with the show on hiatus Sherlock fever wasn’t at an all-time high. But the New Year was sure to change all that.

Ri pushed herself out of Koni’s hold and slipped into the kitchen. “Kettles on, what do you want?”

“Usual.”

“Bennie?”

“Tea, please. I’ll help you bring them in.” At her side he rose his brow. “You should be careful. He might figure it out.” He said very quietly.

“Koni’s very simple. If you wanna throw him off the scent you talk about it. Double bluff.” She spoke as quietly as he had, almost mouthing.

But she was wrong. Koni rounded on her as he pulled at her pyjamas that night.

“You and Bennie are pretty pally lately.”

“Yeah, he’s a laugh.” She said between kisses, wondering why they were talking about Bennie at this particular time.

“Is that all?”

She stiffened slightly. “What?”

“Do I need to be worried?”

“Fuck off.” She scoffed. “Me and Bennie?” Even as she said it, it caught in her throat. An image of her joking about a tattoo that read something similar, spreading her hands in front of her face as Bennie sat opposite her, popped into her head. A wave of guilt flooded her unexpectedly, and it wasn’t the fact that she’d kissed Bennie last night, but more that she’d allowed herself to get to the point where she wanted to. She’d gone through the stages of attraction with him and not even given a second thought to Koni. She’d even momentarily forgotten about him while teasing and flirting with the older man. She sighed loudly. “Sorry. I know we’ve been joking around lately. I didn’t know you were feeling pushed out.”

He shrugged. “Whatever. I’m sure you can make it up to me.” His eyes sparkled with mischief.

She grinned half-heartedly, she could hear Bennie moving around in the room next to them and wondered if he could hear them too. She cringed as she thought of all the times they’d rocked the bed and rammed the headboard into the wall.

 

***

 

“No!” He yelled loudly in her ear, lunging across to grab the steering wheel.

“Chill out!” She batted him away, rolling her eyes at the overreaction. “It’s just the pavement.”

“For the love of God Ri if you crash my car…” He left the threat hanging.

 She ignored him, flicking the indicator on as they neared a turning with a sense of smugness as she remembered this crucial detail. “It’s Bennie’s big night tonight.” She glanced briefly towards Koni. He was still none the wiser of her little incident with the celebrity.

He simply shrugged. “He’s done it a million times. Watch the-”

The crunching of the wheels colliding with the pavement drowned out his warning.

“Whoops.” She jiggled with the gear stick, putting it in reverse and glancing behind her to make sure she didn’t hit anything else. As her foot compressed the accelerator they lunged forwards, the car jostling madly as it mounted the pavement. Koni’s knuckles were white as he restrained himself from screaming at her. “I guess I didn’t put it into reverse.” She mumbled, glancing down at the gear stick, wholly unperturbed by their undesirable position. “You wanna take over?” She glanced up and had to stop herself from smiling at his strained face.

“Yes.” He breathed in relief, letting her scramble over him into the passenger seat on account of his door being block by a fence.

“Skills.” She congratulated herself as she hovered over him, watching as he heaved himself into the driver’s seat.

He backed out with ease, making a point to look in all the right mirrors, and turn to glare out the back window as they descended, with a bump, back onto the road.

“Right my turn again.” She reached for the door handle.

“What?”

“You’re teaching me how to drive. I’m not gonna learn when I’m in the passenger seat am I?”

“Maybe we’ve had enough for today.”

“Maybe you’re full of shit. Come on, let me have another go.”

He eyed her carefully, weighing up the potential damage she could do to his beloved car. But she’d sulk otherwise, roll her eyes all day, huff and sigh and bitch, and later she wouldn’t sleep with him, just mumble about how he didn’t trust her and how the car meant more to him than she did. It wasn’t worth it. “Fine. But just around this last corner. Then I’ll drive us home.”

“Whatevs.”

She did pretty well considering. She didn’t mount anymore pavements and kept to her side of the road most of the time. There was a slight incident with a cat but it was mostly the cat’s fault, I mean who just stands in the road having a staring contest with a moving car anyways? And it wasn’t badly hurt, just a little nudge in the leg.

“I’ll be King of the road this time next week.” She announced jovially as they streamed smoothly into the driveway under Koni’s reign.

“I wouldn’t count on it.”

“Shut up you.” She punched his arm roughly. “You’re meant to encourage me.”

“To what? Crash my car?”

“You’re a right sulky bitch today what’s got into you?”

“I just don’t think you should run before you can walk.”

“Chance would be fine thing! You hardly let me near this thing,” she slammed her hand on dashboard, to which Koni gasped loudly, “let alone drive it.”

“Don’t hit her! Jesus, Maria have you no respect for other people’s things?”

She rolled her eyes, sliding out of the passenger seat and slamming the door so hard the car shook. She was almost disappointed the window didn’t smash.

She flung the front door open and was about to seek out Bennie to bitch about how shit Koni was, when she remembered he was at his interview. “Ugh!” she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

_-Where are you when I need you? Koni’s making me wanna take a crowbar to his car. You nervous? X_

And smacked ‘send’ angrily, stomping into the kitchen. He replied quicker than she expected.

_-What’s he doing? I’m sat in make-up now, not nervous yet, give it about half an hour! X_

_-Probably sticking his dick in the exhaust. Tried to teach me how to drive and had a bitch fit ‘cause I mounted the pavement. Total overreaction. You’ll be great, I’ll be watching so no pressure. X_

She took a deep breath, the fresh air rushing straight to her oxygen deprived brain. Koni needed to fuck right off.

Maybe next time she’d get Bennie to talk her out for a driving lesson. She’d have to get in quick before his schedule became impossibly busy, but maybe if she asked him nicely he’d take her out. He’d sure as hell be a lot calmer if she accidentally rear-ended a parked car or clipped the wing mirror.

She heard the front door slam into the wall, announcing Koni’s entrance.

“Ugh.”


	17. Chapter 17

 "Who's the best character you’ve played?" The host asked, crossing one leg over the over.

Bennie's face split into an open mouthed grin. "A good friend asked me that the other day actually. It's my favourite question." He admitted, rubbing his neck nervously.

"Woo!" Ri hollered punching the air. "Shout out, yeah!"

"What?"

She looked up at Koni. "That's what I asked him on our date."

He rolled his eyes. "Will you stop calling it a date, it's weird."

She laughed quietly, listening as Bennie answered the question similarly to the other night. He went into further detail, dissecting the finer points of Christopher Teitjens’ characteristics, but didn’t mention his enjoyment at playing the bad guy.

She grinned, so it would be their secret.

The grin quickly slipped off her face as she remembered that wasn’t the only secret they were keeping. She pushed herself closer into Koni, as if fusing herself to him would erase her mistake.

He ran his hand up and down her arm.

He had, roughly an hour earlier, mumbled an apology, quickly followed by “But if I don’t teach you how to drive properly you could get really hurt.”

“Yeah well. Maybe I am a bit reckless sometimes. But your car gets more love from you than I do.”

“Hmm.”

Now they sat watching Bennie discuss Sherlock, getting teased about revealing the secret of the fall and discussing his other upcoming projects. To which he politely dismissed as ‘super-secret’ and promptly changed the subject. The interviewer laughed, then grew serious.

“So, onto the real question. What everyone wants to know. Anyone special in your life at the moment?”

Even the host couldn’t miss the look of shiftiness on his face as he attempted to dodge the blatant question, his face colouring.

“Oh my god!” Ri exclaimed. “I totally forgot to tell you. When I got Bennie drunk he told me he has a mystery woman on the scene.”

Perfect. If she bullied it out of Bennie then maybe she could do some cupid work, set them up, encourage her to consider him as a potential suitor, despite the boyfriend he claimed she had. Then she could concentrate on Koni, and their relationship, without reliving that heart-stopping kiss over and over.

Whenever she closed her eyes she saw Bennie’s face, his head tilted back, eyes closed in ecstasy as she rubbed up against him enthusiastically. Several times she’d shook her head so violently to remove the image that she’d cricked her neck. Koni had told her to stop wriggling about and she’d forced herself to think about something extremely unsexy, just to distract her.

“Really, who?”

She shrugged. “I dunno, he wouldn’t say. But he doesn’t reckon he’s got a chance.”

“Why, is she hot?”

Ri turned sharply to look him in the eye. “What, you don’t think Bennie could bag a hottie?”

“Well…no.”

“Why not?” Her voice was slightly high pitched. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Chill out, I didn’t mean to offend you. What are you his mum?”

“I don’t know if we’ve met the same person but Bennie could totally date a sexy lady.” She huffed, settling back down against him, her attention turned back to the screen.

She studied Bennie carefully, the way his hands moved enthusiastically when he was talking about something he was especially passionate about, and his vivid facial expressions that bordered on comic. She had the intense urge to push her finger into the crease at the top of his nose that appeared when he frowned or scrunched up his nose. She didn’t know what Koni was talking about. This man with his sharp cheekbones, bright, almost ethereal eyes and pale soft skin was a work of art.

She felt somewhat smug that her lips had tasted his own, that his tongue had met hers, his teeth had pinched her skin.

Maria Solomon, Average Joe, had clambered on top of a movie star, a ridiculously talented actor who had girls swooning and screaming, and pushed herself into him, lips first.

And he had retaliated just as eagerly.

The reality of his fame was beginning to sink in, and she now felt oddly humbled by him.

“You sad to be going back to Uni tomorrow?” Koni’s voice made her jump.

“Yeah, I’m gonna miss your shitty attitude.” She pulled a tongue at him as he pushed her softly.

“It’ll be weird not coming home to your fake meat cooking.”

“Yeah, you can finally eat some corpses, you must be thrilled.” She nudged him. “Seriously though, it’ll be weird. I’m gonna have to actually get off my ass and leave the house. The fresh air might kill me.”

Koni chuckled, his fingers stroking her bare stomach. “We should probably make the most of your last night. And the empty house.” His hand crept up, tracing the material of her bra under her top.

She wriggled away. “After this, yeah? I told Bennie we’d watch it.”

“Who gives a shit?” Koni whispered in her ear, nipping her earlobe.

“I do, you little shit.”

He attempted to distract her the rest of the interview, which only lasted another two or three minutes, but by the time the audience were clapping and Bennie was smiling into the camera with a wave she was gritting her teeth against her gasps.

Koni’s lips had moved from her face, down her neck, onto her shoulder and he currently had her bra strap between his teeth. One of his hands gripped her bum firmly whilst the other was making itself at home beneath her underwear.

“Now can we play?” He growled as the screen showed a singer descending the stairs and seating herself on the now vacated sofa opposite the chat-show host.

“Mhmm.” She nodded, letting him scramble on top of her.

As he kissed her lips and neck alternatively she wished he’d just stick to one and found herself thinking that Bennie would have lingered on the tender spot on her neck, his teeth grazing the skin, his tongue flicking out to taste, to tempt. Her hands tightened around Koni’s shoulders and he winced loudly as her fingernails dug deep into his skin.

“Fuck Ri! Careful!”

She loosened her grip. “Sorry.” She murmured, tugging at his t-shirt pulling it over his head. As he scrambled out it, pulling her own off, a jolly jingle came from near her head.

She jumped slightly and turned towards the source of the noise, noting her phone on the floor, a green light flashing in the top corner.

“Ignore it.” Koni’s voice was muffled as he ran his tongue over her breast.

“It might be important.” She argued, reaching out to pick it up.

“I won’t be.”

But she had already swiped the screen and opened it. “It’s Bennie.”

_-How did I do? Didn’t embarrass myself too much did I? Has Koni taken his dick out of the car yet? x_

She snorted.

“What?” Koni asked quickly, snapping his head up. “What’s so funny?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. He just wants to know how the interview came across.”

“Leave it.” He ordered, taking the phone from her and putting it back on the floor. To demonstrate his precedence over Bennie he pushed his lips into hers firmly before returning to removing her remaining items of clothing.

With him distracted she slowly reached back down for the phone, keeping her eyes on him to make sure he was well preoccupied, and started tapping out a reply.

Well it was rude to ignore him wasn’t it?

- _Only just! You were great, except now everyone knows your harbouring a secret crush on someone. You’re were well shifty. You on your way home? X_

“Are you on your fucking phone?” Koni snapped angrily. She glanced down, he was glaring at her, his eyes dark with anger.

“Umm I was just checking when he’s coming back. We don’t want him busting in on us.”

“I couldn’t give a shit! I pay rent here, if I wanna fuck my girlfriend on the sofa I goddamn well will.”

“Well I mind. I don’t want him seeing us like that. Don’t you care if some other guy sees me naked?”

“At this rate I’m not even going to see you naked.” He clambered off her, snatched his t-shirt from the floor and headed to the door of the hallway.

“Koni, come on, don’t be mad.”

“Ri, if you’d rather be on your fucking phone, texting other guys, than having sex with me then that’s your problem.”

She stared at him helplessly and he huffed, slamming his way out the room and up to bed.

Her phone rang merrily in her hand,

_-Yeah, will be there in about half an hour. See you soon x_


	18. Chapter 18

 The kiss had changed things. They tried to pretend that it hadn’t but they weren’t kidding anyone.

Before it was just a playful infatuation, a crush that they could laugh off. But now a realm of possibilities had been opened. Now they knew the attraction was reciprocated there were similar thoughts running through their heads, most of them along the lines of, ‘what if…?’.

The looks they shared weren’t friendly or teasing, they were knowing, and heavy with meaning.

And now, all of a sudden it wasn’t just about a kiss, it was about the lead-up, all that had happened before. It was the concern that maybe there was more to it than one kiss, more than a drunken mistake.

“It was just a kiss!” Ri tried reasoning with herself, sat in her bedroom in Manchester, her laptop open on a list of essay questions. “You kiss Koni all the time you moron. You didn’t sleep with him, you were both wasted. It’s not what you want. He’s not what you want.”

But all her reasoning was going to waste as promotional shit for Sherlock season three was in full swing. She couldn’t switch on the television without interviews with Benedict, or tense, dark trailers blaring out at her. She had boycotted the BBC, but now posters were being plastered everywhere, and she even saw one on the side of a bus. She growled angrily as it sailed by, Bennie’s intense stare boring into her, judging her, enticing her.

Amber glanced sideways at her with slight concern. “Not a fan?” She ventured, heaving the strap of her bag further up her shoulder.

“I just don’t see what the fuss is about.” Ri mumbled, her eyes still locked with the enlarged paper ones of Bennie until the bus turned a corner and he was gone. She sighed at the thought of another weekend spent with a clueless Koni, trying to ignore the looks she could see Bennie giving her out the corner of her eye. “Anyways,” She said loudly. “What are you doing this weekend? I’m thinking of skipping London for a change.”

Amber shrugged. “I‘m going to Sheffield, see the G-parents,”

“That’ll be nice.” She tried to hide her disappointment. She got on fine with the others living in the house, but her and Amber could joke and dick about with each other in a different way. She felt as if she had to somewhat censor herself around the rest of them. And if she stayed for the weekend they’d question her motives, and she wasn’t prepared for an interview on her relationship status with Koni right now.

As if on cue, Amber said “Why do you want to stay anyways? It’s not the housemate is it?”

Ri opened her mouth, about to spill all; the date, the wine, the kiss, then closed it. “No, nothing like that it’s just,” she shrugged, “Koni, you know how he is.”

She didn’t know why she wanted to keep it to herself, why the thought of telling Amber made her feel as if she was betraying Bennie in some way, but she couldn’t manage to say the words out loud. At least not until she understood it herself.

So to London she would go.

Was she really going to throw away her friendship with Bennie because of the power of wine?

Hell no.

This weekend, she decided, they’d get back on track, the teasing would resume, she wouldn’t think about pushing herself against him, or about his lips or his pretty eyes. Instead she would forget all about the stupid kiss, act normal, and suggest that he did the same.


	19. Chapter 19

When she opened the door she almost tripped over a large box that looked like it had been hurled down the stairs. She forgot to catch the heavy door and winced as it smashed into the wall, indenting it even further. “What’s going on?” She called into the house loudly, stepping over it clumsily and practically falling into the lounge.

Bennie looked up from his position on the floor, he was surrounded by multiple objects that could only be descried as vastly over the top. Sparkling tinsel of every colour snaked its way across the floor that was also littered with tree ornaments of gingerbread men and houses, fat Father Christmases, shiny baubles, fake candy canes and golden bells, amongst this mess sat bright cotton stockings hemmed with fluffy white fur, and a dismantled pine tree.

“Hi!” He called merrily over the Christmas songs playing jovially in the background. “Could you pass me that box by the front door?”

“What the one that I nearly broke my neck tripping over?”

He pulled a face. “Sorry. I forgot it was in the way. How was your train?”

She leant back out the door, grabbing the box with both hands and heaving it in, it was a lot lighter than she expected. “Fine, no one groped me so it was pretty successful. Where did all this come from?”

“Mum dropped it off this morning. She came over the other day and was appalled we didn’t have any decorations.”

“That’s sweet of her.” Ri settled down near Bennie on the floor, pulling a length of silver tinsel towards her and wrapping it round her head.

“Yeah, check this out.” Bennie gathered up the stockings and dropped them in her lap. Each one had a name embroidered on it; ‘Benedict’, ‘Koni’ and ‘Maria’.

“Oh my god, can I have your mum? She is so cute!”

Bennie smiled wistfully. “She wants us to hang them on the fireplace.”

“Ah yes, the fireplace, the main focal point of the room. It’s the reason we got this place you know?” She grinned, gesturing to the non-existent fireplace. “Seriously though,” she ran her thumb along the black lettering of her name, “this is great. We can turn the oven on and hang them on the door.”

“Perfect.”

She tried to help him put up the tree, but the branches folded out in such a violent manner that they were smacked unexpectedly more than once by the erratic sticks.

“Jesus, this thing is like the Whomping Willow.” Ri grimaced as another branch flung out from one of the top sections and smacked her in the back of the head. “It’s out for revenge.” She rubbed her head, keeping the tree at arm’s length as it slowly came together.

“Fuck, that thing put up a fight!” Bennie laughed as they stood back admiring their work. “Now to decorate it.”

“Oh, oh, bagsy putting on the star! My mum would always let me do it because I was the youngest and the cutest.” She looked around the room in mock surveillance. “Oh look, I still am!”

He pushed her arm, but agreed to let her put the star on, only after they’d decorated the whole thing.

“Where’s the boy?” she asked as they threaded little red and gold drums and their matching drummers on the now sedentary branches.

“He said Christmas stresses him out. He went for a lie down.”

“Good god, what’s he like? The most wonderful time of the year and he’s in bed sulking about it. I don’t think the new job is suiting him very well. Hey, pass me that ribbon, that’s cute.” He handed her the box full and she set about placing them strategically.

“So, when do you break up for Christmas?”

“Next week.” Her voice was muffled in her position under the tree, attaching the ribbons by their small wiry strings to the lower branches. “Can’t fucking wait.”

“You glad to be going home?”

“Yeah, I miss my dogs like crazy,”

He laughed. “Not your family?”

“Them to, but Charlie and Poppy are like my life.”

“What breed are they?”

“Labradors. The cuddliest and laziest of all breeds.”

He smiled, he loved dogs, hoped to get one or two of his own when he settled down a little and his work schedule didn’t mean leaving them alone for long stretches of time. “Are you going to miss us?”

“Oh yeah but it’s only like two weeks. You won’t even know I’m gone.”

“Don’t think Koni agrees.”

She shrugged. “He’ll survive.” She clambered out from underneath the prickly branches, and got to her feet, brushing the stray pine needles that had already shed off her knees. “Are you going home for Christmas Day?”

“What, to my parents?”

She nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Well that’ll be nice, better than spending it with Scrooge here.”

“Yeah, mum goes all out. If you can imagine.” He gestured to the room practically overflowing with decorations supplied entirely by Wanda. She giggled.

“I think it’s ready for the star.” She decided, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

He turned to unpack the crowning glory, hiding a grin at her childlike excitement. She was making it difficult for him to switch off any feelings towards her. “Uh-oh.” He said, pulling open the box and turning to face Ri, an angel in his hand. “I guess mum didn’t get the message.”

Her face fell slightly, but she soon regained composure. “No worries. In fact,” she strolled up to him and took the winged creature from his hand, “she’s even better than a star. It’s a mini-me.” She held the angel up to her face, mimicking the serene, caring look of the ornament so perfectly he couldn’t not chuckle. “Grab me a chair form the kitchen and I’ll pop her on the top.”

Bennie obeyed, dragging in one of the chairs that sat around the dining table and setting it at the base of the tree. Ri climbed up, stretching her furthest, but she was still an inch or two too short.

“Let me, I’m taller.”

“No! It’s my job, I have to do it. Just steady me, I’ll go on tiptoe.”

“Ri, that’s not a good idea, what if you fall off?”

“I won’t if you steady me. Grab a hold of my legs.” She said it so decidedly he was forced to comply, stepping forwards so he was by her chair. She rose up on her tiptoes and he took a breath before closing his hands around her outer thighs, keeping her steady. He could feel her tightened muscles beneath his fingers and he had to avoid looking straight ahead with her ass at perfect eye-level. “Almost!” she said in a strained voice. “Come round the side so I can lean on you.” He did so, still keeping his hands firmly on her legs, and she put a hand on his shoulder, using it to propel her up that last inch. The angel dropped onto the top branch, swaying dangerously, but settled in pride of place, if slightly on an angle. “Woo! Teamwork.” She spun around to high five him and he reluctantly let go of her, gripping her hand to help her down. “She looks great.”

Bennie nodded. “It’s beautiful. Thanks for all your help.”

“No worries,” she said as she entered the kitchen, chair in hand, and slotted it under the table, “I knew Koni wouldn’t be much use. I think all our hard work deserves a tea break don’t you?”

He followed her into the kitchen “That sounds perfect.”

 

She slid a cup of hot coffee across the table to him.

“Hey, are we ok?” she sat down opposite him with her own drink, their knees touching.

“Yeah! Of course!” But his reply was too fast, too high pitched.

“Yeah, but are we actually? Things have been kinda weird lately.”

He shrugged. “I guess it is kind of a weird situation. I feel really bad about it. You haven’t told him yet have you?”

She shook her head violently. “Noooo. I wouldn’t dare.”

“Maybe you should, then maybe it’ll be easier for us all to move on from it, get back to normal.”

“No, trust me. It’s never going to happen again, so there’s no need to worry him. It’s really not worth the hassle.”

He nodded. “It’s your choice. But we’re fine.” He grinned, grateful for their little talk. He’d missed her company, she seemed to have been feeling guiltier than she was letting on and had been distancing herself from him because of it.

“Good.” She stood, pushing her fist into his arm gently. “Shit! I’ve not said ‘Hello’ to Koni yet. He’s gonna be in a right fucking mood.”


	20. Chapter 20

Slowly the house began to resemble Santa’s Grotto, it sparkled under the lights due to all the shiny plastic, glittery fake snow and tinsel that had been stuffed into every crevice known to man. The personalised stockings took pride of place hanging on the oven door like misshapen oven gloves, and Koni had even given them an approving nod. Ri had excitedly shown him the tree and pointed, childlike, to the angel, standing at a jaunty angle, “I put her up there,” she said smiling, as Bennie watched fondly from the kitchen.

“How did you reach?”

“I stood on a chair of course! I want to do something Christmassy tonight.”

Koni groaned, “Ri please don’t make me! You know I’m not a fan.”

“Yeah but I am! I just want to go and do some Crimbo shit with my lovely boyfriend.”

Koni moaned and whined his way out of leaving the cosy house, his added commentary on their splendid decorating skills finally persuaded Ri to forgo the festive celebrations and spend the night indoors.

She huffed and puffed for a few hours, wriggling uncomfortably on the sofa every now and again to illustrate her irritation. She had made an equal amount of fuss as Koni and had managed to whinge to the point where she was allowed to watch The Muppet’s Christmas Carol without too much resistance.

Bennie had consequently removed himself from their domestic situation, persuading several friends to meet up for some festive drinks.

But no matter what he tried, he just didn’t feel into it.

His mind kept sweeping back to the house, forever conscious of the fact that whenever he left them alone in the house they took full advantage of the privacy. He was further unenthused when, approaching the bar he spied a flash behind him, and noticed a small crowd of paparazzi filming and snapping his every mood. He tried not to show his annoyance too much, turning towards the bar again to grab the drinks.

“They’ve found me.” He murmured to a waiter who grinned back.

“The downfalls of stardom.”

He rolled his eyes, “Don’t you start, my friend would be loving this. She wouldn’t stop taking the piss.” He smiled fondly, imagining Ri turning and pulling faces at the camera, then making a sympathetic noise in her throat, “Poor little famous boy.” She’d coo.

He slid the drinks onto the table, “We’ve got company.” He jerked his head towards the window, where bush lurking paparazzi were still snapping his every move. He took a sip of his festive cinnamon whiskey. “I’ll probably head after this.”

“We’ve only just got here.”

He shrugged. “I’m up early tomorrow.”

***

He remembered Koni had frequently mentioned taking advantage of an empty lounge with Ri, referencing the sofa as ‘surprisingly springy’. He hesitated outside the door, if he made enough of a loud entrance, and fussed about in the hall, it would give them enough time to scramble off each other and get dressed before he entered the room. He took a deep breath, suddenly nervous for some reason, and unlocked the door, letting it swing heavily into the wall.

“Hey!” he called loudly, for added effect. Slowly unbuttoning his coat, and slipping it on the hook he listened for hurried clambering around, but all could be heard was the muffled blaring of the TV.

Bennie slowly opened the lounge door and saw Ri, her eyes focused on the screen and Koni fast asleep on the other sofa.

“Hi,” he said more softly.

She dragged her eyes from the film and grinned his way, “Hey, good night? You’re back early.”

He nodded, “Yeah it was alright. The pap found me though, kinda killed the buzz. How long’s he been asleep.” He jerked his head towards Koni. There was still the possibility that they’d had a quickie and she’d worn him out.

“Pretty much since you were gone.”

He smiled, settling onto the other end of the sofa to her, “I thought maybe you guys would be making the most of your time alone.” He rose his brows at her playfully, knowing they hadn’t defiled the sofa made him feel more comfortable joking about it.

“What and miss this?” she asked incredulously glancing at the TV, as Gonzo and Rizzo narrated something about Scrooge. “Even Koni’s not _that_ good.” She glanced sideways at him, “I can’t believe you skipped out on it. Disappointed.”

As the credits rolled she smiled widely. “Yay! Wasn’t that just magical?” she frowned when he didn’t answer, “If you’ve got a problem with the Muppets then we’re gonna fall out.” She warned, standing to collect the plates and mugs that seemed to be breeding. In the kitchen she could still hear the credit song that she hummed to herself.

Every Christmas Eve her and her brother would beg and plead to watch The Muppet’s Christmas Carol, and it had become a sort of tradition. But with her brother living in a different city, her mum remarried and her stepdad an avid Muppet-hater, the tradition had died off somewhat. So she made sure she watched it each year, even if she ended up doing it on her own.

The kettle clicked on behind her and she jumped.

Bennie leant on the counter waiting for the water to boil. He opened his mouth to start a conversation, but couldn’t find anything to say to her. It seemed she was right, there was an edge of awkwardness to their companionship.

“Beep, beep.” She said, walking up to him and reaching across him to pull a glass out of the cupboard behind him. Her chest brushed against his lightly and their eyes met. For a moment they seemed to be thinking the same thing. Neither moved, her fingertips stayed statue still on the rim of the glass as his eyes flicked between her own and her mouth.

Then she took a deep breath, cleared her throat and closed her hand around the cup, turning away and leaning against the sink. He wanted to say something, but he still couldn’t find the words as the sound of the cool water running from the tap filled the silence.

“You working yet?” she murmured, desperate to break the heavy tension between them.

“Uh yeah. I’ve got a photoshoot tomorrow morning.”

Her eyes met his for the first time since the kiss. “Really? Can I come?”

“What, really?”

She nodded. “Yeah can I? I won’t be in the way I promise.”

He grinned, “Yeah, sure!”

She squealed happily, “How exciting! I’ve never been to a photoshoot before.” She suddenly grew serious, “What do I do? Oh my god what if I’m in the way and they tell me to leave?”

He shook his head, “You’ll be fine, you’re my guest.”

She barked with laughter, “Yeah, who invited herself.”

“Hey!” Koni called sleepily from the lounge, “Where did everyone go?”

“We’re in the kitchen admiring all the wonderful decorations me and Bennie spent hours putting up.” She turned to Bennie, “You sure about tomorrow, you can back out you know?”

He nodded, “I’m sure, I’d like the company.”

He knew it was stupid to agree to a whole day alone with her. Well not entirely alone, but without Koni. But he was determined to get their easy friendship back on track, and what better way than a day out?


	21. Chapter 21

She watched intently all day. As he arrived at the studio, and greeted the crew warmly. As he sat in a chair and a hairdresser fussed and fidgeted with his locks to style them perfectly for the camera. (Ri sang loudly, “I’m gonna wash that man right outta my hair,” as the foamy shampoo was massaged into his hair and rinsed it out again. He couldn’t help grinning.) As the make-up artist changed his face into something that was all angles and shadows and light. As he took his place on front of the camera and people rushed round taking light readings, adjusting props and camera settings. As flash after flash illuminated him as if he’d been momentarily struck by lightning.

She couldn’t keep her eyes off him as he went about this strange ritual that had become so ordinary to him that he didn’t see any of it as out of place. He could have been washing the dishes, or flicking through the television he was so comfortable in front of a camera. She suddenly had the intense desire to see him act, to hide herself between crew and cast members and watch on as he transformed himself, like a chameleon, into someone else.

She’d seen his work before, how every minute detail of his character was absorbed entirely by him, from tiny facial expressions to subtle shifts in body language. He was an artist in what he did, and she wanted to see it in real life, not just from a screen. She wanted to talk to Benedict and then watch him step onset and become Sherlock, or anyone else, and then see him stroll off set and become Benedict once more. Like human evolution taking place before her eyes.

“Benedict?” Someone’s voice shook her from her own reverie and she snapped back into the present.

The photographer had lowered his camera slightly and his eyes were on his star, who seemed to have become distracted.

“Sorry.” His low rumble apologised. He glanced, quickly, over at Ri, and seemed to be checking her wellbeing. She grinned in reassurance, yes, she was still there.

Bennie gave the smallest of smiles back and focused once more on the task in hand. Out the corner of his eye he’d seen her attention slip from him, and, narcissistically, he’d wondered what she’d found more interesting than him. So far she had not been able to keep her wondrous gaze off of him, and he decided she was studying his reactions to a world she was completely foreign to.

He quite liked her undivided attention, how her bright blue eyes were fixated solely on him, cautious of his every move and word. He felt somewhat like an animal in a zoo, but watched on by a compassionate keeper, intent on keeping him well cared for.

His mind returned, repeatedly, to their kiss and he was desperate to know if she thought about it too. He was more desperate to attempt a repeat, and with her eyes so raptly focused on him all day, he wondered whether she would object as whole heartedly as she should.

Unknowingly, their thoughts pondered the same things. As he sat there in front of her, obeying each instruction the photographer shouted out, moulding into another pose like clay, her mind wandered dangerously. Her eyes fixed obsessively on his lips, those perfect lips that she’d tasted with her own. That insane kiss flashed so vividly in her mind that she had to close her eyes before she let herself get carried away at the memory. He’d tasted of Chianti, something she’d never be able to drink again without thinking of his teeth on her skin, his hands on her back. His hot, warm breath against hers, his desperate mouth pressing to hers. The hands that were currently resting on the arms of a designer, crimson armchair had gripped her bare skin, tracing her spine, touching her as tentatively as a pianist.

Koni wasn’t a second thought, he wasn’t even an after-thought. He had absolutely no place in her brain when the beautiful man before her had kissed her. And he had no place in it now.

Bennie had been turned on by it, she’d seen that, but so had she. When she rocked herself into his lap, rubbing herself into him, she had felt the same desire building inside of her. If it hadn’t been for her senses kicking in when they did she had no doubt they would have gone further. His hands were already under her dress, and she’d have let him tug it off, up over her head. Ri wondered what he would have done next, where his eyes, hands and his mouth would go. She had a pretty good idea. She would have pulled at his shirt, exploring his torso with her slim, eager fingers.

Her eyes moved to that body that was now twisting slightly to accommodate the photographer’s demands. A few buttons on his dark shirt strained and from her position on the side-lines she peeked a tiny bit of skin. The powerful need to push her pinkie finger into the hole between the buttons and to stroke that skin almost overwhelmed her. She wanted to hear his surprised gasp loud in her ears, followed by a low rumbling chuckle that would penetrate her every cell.

“And that’s great. I think we have all we need.” The photographer grinned widely, scanning the last few shots he’d obtained.

“Wait.” Bennie heard himself asking. “Could we have just one more?”

The photographer hesitated, then shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

“Great.” But Bennie leapt out of camera shot and appeared by Ri’s side. “Come on.” He gripped her wrist tugging it urgently, sending sparks of electricity between them as their skins collided.

“What?” She gasped.

“Come have a picture with me.”

“No!” She scoffed, conscious of the entire room glaring in their direction.

“Please? A memento of today.” He was tugging her ever closer, gently and so that she barely noticed, but soon they were amongst the bright lights. “Can we have hair and make-up here please?” He requested politely.

She was accosted by two women who rushed onset, attacking her with hair products and make-up brushes, quickly polishing her up before she even had chance to object. “You are impossible to refuse aren’t you?” She grumbled as they were left alone in front of the camera.

“Yup.” He wound his arm around her, his hand nestling into the curve of her waist, slowly and purposefully resting each finger on her.

She grinned. So he wanted to tease did he?

She rejected the convectional photograph stance, reached her own arm up to curl around his neck and as the camera clicked she tiptoed, placing her lips, feather-light on his cheek.

The photographer glanced down at his snapshot and laughed aloud, spinning it to show the display to them. Bennie’s look of surprised confusion registered comically on camera as did her small grin as her kiss touched his skin.

“That’s perfect.” She giggled in appreciation. “Your face!”

“Another,” he mumbled, “and no surprise attacks.”

She shook her head, but complied, leaning into him and smiling obediently as the camera flashed.

“I totally want a copy of the first one.” She murmured to the photographer as she waited for Bennie to get changed.

He smiled, “You’re on.”

 

***

 

“I had a really good day.” She glanced over at him from the passenger seat.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s nice seeing your world. Weird seeing you in it though.”

He grinned, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “I’m glad you came.”

She smiled back, her eyes still fixed on the window, wondering how soon she could remove her hand from his grasp without seeming rude. Thankfully he needed to change gear, and released her.

“What do you prefer, photoshoots or interviews?”

“Interviews. I get to be more ‘me’.”

“I know what you mean. I hate getting my photo taken.”

“Oh god and I dragged you in front of a camera!”

“Yeah, you’re a horrible human being.”

“You should have said.”

“Like you gave me the chance.” That twinkle was in her eye, the one that lit them up to a periwinkle blue.

They pulled into the drive, sliding out of the car and into the house Bennie now thought of as home.

“I’m glad things aren’t so weird anymore.” She admitted. “I was starting to miss you!”

He grinned. “Yeah, me too.” He followed her into the kitchen, scanning the house. “Koni out?”

She shrugged. “Maybe. He wasn’t overly pleased when I told him we were going out today.”

She grimaced. Koni had stared at her for a good minute that morning when she’d casually dropped into conversation her plans with Bennie that day. He’d growled angrily, and asked her why she even bothered coming to see him when she spent all of her time with Bennie.

“Hardly!” She’d snapped back. “We had all last night together and you fell asleep, that’s not my fault. Come on I’m never going to get to go to a photoshoot ever again!”

“It’s weird Ri. You going for days out with my housemate, only telling me about it on the morning.”

“We’re friends, Koni. Are you saying I can’t go out with my friend just because you live with him?”

He shook his head. “Are you completely blind?” She sighed loudly, they never ended up having actual conversations, just batted irrelevant, disconnected points between each other. They never listened. “He’s got a thing for you, don’t you see it?”

Her face flushed red and she became flustered, fussing with laces on her boots. “No, I don’t. He doesn’t.” She lied.

“Then you’re an idiot.” She glared at him. “The way he looks at you, he’s always trying to get close to you.”

She stood up straight. “Koni. Shut the fuck up. It’s called a friendship, people get close, comfortable with each other, if you’d ever fucking had one you’d know that.”

“Mmm.” She mumbled now, thoughtfully.

“Why, what did he say?” Bennie asked nervously.

She shrugged again. “It doesn’t matter. He’s been in a bad mood for weeks.”

Bennie nodded, she was being evasive, Koni must have said something else to get her guard up. “Sorry, again, for the other night. You know, the kiss.”

She smiled briefly. “Yeah, I mean, what would your crush think?”

He stared hard at her for a long while, not saying a word.

She stared back.

The silence stretched out far too long, hanging in the air like it was alive, a third person in their staring match. She wondered if either of them were ever going to speak again, or whether they’d die that way, still locked in their gaze.

Then he lifted his hand to her face, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers brushing the skin of her cheek. Their eyes were still fixed on each other when he dropped his hand back to his waist.

“Are you going to make me say it?” He murmured, quiet and deep, with a laugh.

“Say what?” She whispered, hyperaware of his breath tickling her face.

He smiled at the floor, taking a deep breath to work up the nerve.

Then he pushed her back into the counter, his long fingers clutching her waist.

“Be-” He cut her off as his lips crashed against hers, silencing her.

It only took her a second to respond, pushing her body closer into his as his lips opened hers. Then her fingers were in his hair, cupping his face, tracing his jaw, dragging him closer and closer. His body felt warm against hers and she leant herself into him.

His fingers tightened on her waist, one hand creeping up her back and nudging her into him. The cotton of her t-shirt felt sharp beneath his fingertips, as if every fibre was made of needles as his senses heightened. He was still in a state of mild disbelief that he was kissing her and had managed to do so without being slapped or worse, harshly rejected.

He pulled away slowly, removing his lips from hers reluctantly.

“Sorry.” He whispered, and then he leant back fully. He seemed to snap back to his senses, remembering who and where they were. “Oh god, Ri I’m sorry.” Benedict took a step back and she in turn cast her eyes to the floor, one hand still resting on his arm. She dropped it slowly, her fingers dragging on his skin.

She shook her head. “That was stupid.” But she was talking to herself, convincing herself. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

He cut her off. “It was my fault.”

“We should probably stop doing this.” He nodded. “No, we need to stop this. It’s not right.”

She pushed past him roughly, leaving him standing by the sink and the dark window that reflected his pale face, still flushed from her touch.


	22. Chapter 22

On entering Koni’s room she was surprised to find him there, curled up on the bed like a sleeping animal, his bare back to her. His golden skin was pulled tight over his back muscles and the bobbly bits of his spine poked through. She took a deep breath and smoothed out her hair, wiping her lips with the back of her hand self-consciously.

“Hey.” She said quietly, wondering whether he was actually asleep, or just sulking.

“You’re back then?”

“Yup.”

He was silent for a while, a great sigh leaving him. “And?”

“Pretty boring.” She lied, she didn’t need him getting angry again. “I should have stayed here with you.” She admitted, realising it was true. She didn’t need to tempt herself, or Bennie, like that again. He didn’t reply and she was surprised. Her admitting she was wrong was a very rare occurrence, and Koni ignoring it wasn’t a good sign. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

“Hmm.” His reply was muffled, his back still to her.

“Koni, please. I don’t understand why you’re being like this.” It was pushing her away, his childish, irrational behaviour. She knelt on the edge of the bed.

He turned over reluctantly, met her eye and glanced away. “I miss you.” He mumbled.

“You miss me?” She laughed, somewhat nervously. “But I’ve not gone anywhere.”

“It feels like you have.”

Guilt flooded her, turning her skin to ice. She swallowed.

She shuffled closer to him, lying next to him and winding her legs with his. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to lose you. I couldn’t stand it.”

She sat up, leaning on her elbow. “Who says you’re going to lose me?”

Another long sigh left his lips. “Because I’m stuck in a rut, doing the same old shit and it feels like my life is…wasted.” He paused, long enough to push his dark hair out of his eyes and tuck it behind an ear. “And you’re getting your life sorted.”

She snorted. “What? You’re kidding, right? My life is so far from being sorted it’s unreal. I’m nearing the end of a degree that doesn’t really give me any career path, and let’s not even talk about the state of employment right now, I’ve no idea what I’m doing with my life, I don’t even know where I’m going to live in six months!” She shook her head and laughed. “God look at us, we’re both a mess.” She lay back down, pushing her hand into his hair. She loved that he kept it long, long enough to brush her hands through, to wind it round her fingers and tug gently on. He used to let her braid it for him, and she’d sit on the sofa, him on the floor his head between her knees, carefully plaiting the dark strands with such delicate intricacy that he barely felt her doing it.

She couldn’t remember the last time they’d done that, sitting quietly with one another, undisturbed, happy.

“Can I plait your hair?” She asked quietly.

He met her eye and nodded once, pushing himself up and turning his back to her. She knelt behind him, raking her fingers through it gently, softly. “How come your hair is so soft? Do you even know what conditioner is?”

“Course I do.” He mumbled, glad that she had picked up this ancient ritual. He remembered watching her braid tiny sections of his younger brother, Nook’s, hair when she was small, only six or seven, and becoming entranced by her quick white fingers. He’d silently sat before her when she proudly announced she was done and she, rather intimidated by the twelve year old, had hesitated a long while before he mumbled. “Go on, do me next.”

Now her fingers ran across his scalp, pulled out stubborn knots and kinks and gathered his hair in her hands, ready for the plait. Her fingertips had a calming effect upon him, and he felt like they had been transported back in time, into the tiny house he grew up in. His mother’s echoing singing rang in his ears, the smell of frybread coursed through his nostrils, and he could practically see his brothers hassling his father to take them out to Upper Antelope canyon. He didn’t realise at the time why he let the small dark haired girl touch his hair year after year whilst refusing to let anyone else near him. Ri had been his surrogate sister, a presence he took for granted every summer, that he’d slowly learnt to love in a different way.

She hunted out a hair bobble and set herself back behind him, her hands resting momentarily on his broad shoulders. Her fingers worked on memory and she was grateful for it, she hadn’t put her own hair in braid for a very long time. She hated the way her face looked when her hair was scraped off it, her head looking abnormally small in proportion to her body.

Soon she was tying off the end and Koni reached back to touch it tentatively.

“Nice.”

“I’ve not done that in a long time.”

Koni nodded. “I’ve missed it. I like your hands in my hair, I feel like they belong there.” He still had his back to her, was still wary. Things had not been the same for a while now, and he couldn’t understand why. Maybe she didn’t need him anymore, her grief for Oona having subsided somewhat- it had almost been an entire year since the girl had died, and Ri had learnt to cope with it in a much healthier way these days. She’d used him as a crutch to lean on, a rock to steady her when she was incapable of doing it herself. He’d loved her for several years by then, when he’d turned up at her house after he’d heard the terrible news.

“I do love you, you know?” She said, when he still didn’t turn to look at her.

“I know. But I think sometimes you forget.”

She opened her mouth to protest angrily, then realised that maybe he had a point. “I think maybe you’re right.” She leant her head on his shoulder, her arms sneaking round his waist. “Sometimes I get so caught up in being a sarcastic asshole that I forget I’m a human.”

“Well at least you’re not a bear trapped in man’s body.” He grumbled.

She giggled. “We should be in a fairy-tale. The bear-man and his sass witch.” Then she grew serious. “So what do we do?”

“About?”

“About our directionless lives?”

“Oh.” He shrugged.

She ran her fingers softly over the muscles in his stomach, pressed her lips to the warm skin of his shoulder and sighed loudly. He leant back into her.

“Are you still looking for another job? If you’re unhappy you shouldn’t stay.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“Why?”

My work visa is not exactly… legit.”

She closed her eyes. “What?”

“I didn’t want to leave you, and I wasn’t sure they were going to let me back in if I went home to try and sort out actual documents. Who knows, I might not have even got them!” He turned around in her arms and she relocated them to his shoulders, squeezing them lightly. “I couldn’t abandon you, Ri, you were…you weren’t…ok.” His hand cupped her face. “I did what I had to.”

She shook her head. “Jesus, Koni, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You had enough on your mind.”

“How did you even-?” then she stopped, she knew exactly who’d forged him a visa. “Never mind. But when you get deported I’m pleading ignorance alright?”

“Alright.”

She kissed him softly, feeling like they had sorted themselves out somewhat. Things were getting back on track.


	23. Chapter 23

The night before she was due to leave Manchester for the last time that year she found herself in Amber’s room sipping warm mulled wine. After her experience with the Chianti Ri had somewhat developed a taste for red wine. They’d watched a spoof comedy that was more shit than funny and had slipped into easy conversation.

“So you’re going straight from London to home?”

“Yeah, I thought I’d say goodbye to the boys before the break.”

“And how’s all that going? Are you over your little crush yet?”

Ri’s face screwed up, “Well, about that.” Amber’s face fell, she knew already what she was going to say, but Ri carried on anyways. “So it turns out it wasn’t as one-sided as I thought.”

“What happened?”

“We kind of kissed. Twice.”

“Kind of?”

“Well we had this date. Not a real one!” she said quickly as Amber opened her mouth to object, “We only went out for some pizza. And got quite drunk. So when we got home we made out for a bit.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

“No! I stopped and went to bed. On my own. And I thought that was it, I really did, but this weekend it happened again and neither of us were drunk.” She shuffled, placing her glass down on the side. “We spent the day together and things got sort of …tense.” She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him, about his hands, and how she wanted them all over her body.

Amber was quiet for a while assessing the situation, “What are you going to do?”

"Nothing! I’m not going to do anything, I can’t I’m with Koni. Things are going ok with us now.”

 “And if you weren’t?”

 “I’d be all over Bennie.” She said it before she realised. “Shit.”

“That’s not good.”

“You’re telling me? Ugh. I don’t even know what’s going on. I never thought for one second that this would happen. He’s not exactly my type. And I’m pretty sure I’m not his.” She lay down on the bed with a groan. “God, Amber I don’t even know what I’m going to do! But, shit, that man knows his way around a mouth. He turns me on just kissing me.”

            “Are you going to tell Koni?”

She snorted sitting back up, unable to stay still for too long. “No! Are you kidding me? I don’t know who he’d kill first. But that’s it for me and Bennie, I swear. No more.”

“Do you think,” Amber said slowly, calculating each word before it came out of her mouth, “that maybe you have feelings for him? Like, not just a sexual attraction.”

Ri closed her eyes, leaning her head on the back of Amber’s headboard, “Of course I’ve thought about that.”

“And?”

“And I don’t know! It’s not like I just wanna bang him and then never see him again. We get on. Like really well. And I really don’t want to screw up our friendship by kissing him all the time.”

Amber grew very quiet, she was biting her lip and glancing at Ri every now and again.

“Spit it out,” Ri growled. Now was not the time for Amber to be keeping her theories to herself.

“Maybe,” she shrugged, tucking her hair behind her ear and shuffling to get more comfortable, she pulled a stuffed lion onto her lap, “it’s not a friendship. Maybe you’ve been attracted to each other since day one and confused it with friendship because you’re with Koni.”

Ri’s face screwed up. “Ah don’t say shit like that! That’s not going to help is it?”

“Hey, it’s just a theory. But, I dunno, you do seem to have fallen into this weird attraction thing without a prompt.”

“The wine was enough of a prompt.” She said darkly.

“Yeah but you don’t go kissing anyone you’re alone with every time you drink do you? There must be something about this guy for you to want to jeopardise your relationship with Koni, drunk or sober.”

“Fuck you, Amber, now I’m totally screwed up.”

“Sorry. Look, you’ve got the Christmas holidays to forget about all of this mess with Koni and this Bennie. Maybe the break will clear your head?”

She nodded, hoping Amber was right. “Yeah, hopefully.” If anything it might put things in perspective.”

But first, this weekend.


	24. Chapter 24

“We’re going out tonight.”

“What, why?”

“Don’t say it like that. You’d think I never take you out!”

“Well, you don’t.”

“Bennie’s got a dinner party, so we’re gonna get lost.”

“You’re more than welcome to join,” Bennie interjected, “I did offer an invite.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Koni barked, “we’re going out.”

“Hold on.” Ri objected. “What about this dinner party?”

“It’s not really a dinner party. Just Martin and Amanda are coming round. Like a little pre-Christmas get together.”

Ri’s eyes widened. “Sorry. Hold up. Martin, as in _Freeman_.”

Bennie nodded.

She let out a breath. “I ain’t going anywhere Koni. Fucking Martin Freeman! In our house!”

“Well I don’t advise you fucking him, in or out of the house.” Bennie said with a grin, amused at her fangirling.

“I said I’m taking you out, so I’m taking you out.” Koni growled.

“Jesus." She breathed, ignoring them both. “Holy hell, you know sometimes I forget you’re super famous.”

“I’m not super-”

“Who else can you bring round? Shit, do you know Stephen Fry? Ah, fuck, Bennie get him here too, yeah?”

“We’re going out, Ri.” He’d had a shit day at work, she could tell by the set of his jaw and the tense way he held himself. Someone had pissed him off, maybe yelled at him for something, and his guard was up. But this was an opportunity in itself, her and Koni could go out any damn day they wanted.

“Wild horses wouldn’t-” but she stopped as Koni’s hand slammed down on the table.

“Did you not hear me?” He yelled, his voice reverberating around the kitchen. “We. Are. Going. Out!” He was glaring at her, his eyes crackling with electricity.

She met his eye. “Alright.” She answered quietly.

“I’m going for a shower, we’re leaving at seven.” He stormed out, slamming every door he came across on his quest to the bathroom.

“Holy fucking shit.” She said, her eyes still on the door. “What the hell was that about? Has he been like that all day?”

Bennie shrugged. “He seemed a little wound up before. I thought he was just having trouble finding a reservation this late. Lots of office Christmas parties and stuff.”

She leant her head back. “Oh my god, why is he always ruining my life? Martin Freeman! I remember watching him in Love Actually!” She looked Bennie in the eye. “Why hasn’t he been round before?”

He couldn’t fight the smile on his face. “I didn’t know you were such a fan.”

She blushed. “Shut up.”

But he latched onto her weakness, like she had done so many times before with him. “How come you didn’t fangirl like this when you met me? I’m offended! Or is it just noughties romcom actors that get you going?”

She pointed a finger at him. “Stop being mean.” But she was grinning madly. It wasn’t often the tables were turned and he was able to take the piss out of her. She found she didn’t really mind it too much. “And how do you know I didn’t fangirl over you? I might have done it behind your back.”

“And did you?”

“Oh yeah, I was screaming and jumping and wondering if it would be weird to ask if you’d autograph my left ass cheek. I’ve got posters all over my room of your cheekbones. Not your whole face, just zoomed in snapshots of your cheekbones.”

He burst out laughing, and immediately lowered the volume, scared that Koni would come in and shout at him for being happy.

Her wide smile slipped slightly as she thought of leaving the house knowing that Martin Freeman would be entering it only a few hours later. She was also slightly peeved that she wasn’t spending her last night in London with Bennie.

Not that she wanted to spend it alone with him, but she’d pictured the three of them messing around in the lounge, maybe watching a cheesy Christmas film, drinking festive drinks and munching on mince pies.

“I’m so pissed off. Why is he so hell bent on going out anyways? The mood he’s in he’ll probably cause hell on earth for the restaurant.”

 

“Will you behave?” she hissed across the table as Koni glanced around wildly for a waiter. “You’re stressing me out.”

He was in a terrible mood. She thought he’d settle once they were out of the house, on their own. But he’d sulked all the way there and sighed wistfully as they took their seats. Now he was slowly becoming irritated. He rolled his eyes as the waiters took their time asking what they wanted to drink and stared blankly as she tried to start a conversation with him.

“All I want is the drink I actually ordered. Not this.” He nudged the glass of golden cider violently so that it jumped across the table and overflowed onto the white tablecloth.

“Beer, cider, who cares?”

“I do. I’m not going to see you for weeks Ri, I want tonight to be perfect.”

“Right down to the alcoholic beverage you’re slinging down your neck.”

He glared at her. “You could be a little more grateful.”

“No offence babe, but I didn’t even want to come anyways. You kinda forced me into it.”

“Forced you? I didn’t drag you by your hair!”

“Practically.” She mumbled into her own drink, feeling that she’d need several more before the night was out.

“Hey!” He called as he spied a member of staff leaving the kitchen door and waved at them vigorously.

“Good god.” Ri slipped further down into her seat, hoping not to be associated with him. She didn’t understand his strange mood. She thought after their little chat last weekend they were ok, they certainly seemed like it as they made love afterwards. It felt different than the urgent, rough sex they usually had, more caring, loving.

And sure he’d never been particularly sweet or sensitive, but he’d never paraded himself around like the obnoxious, tempered asshole that he’d become lately. Maybe when he was a cocky little nineteen year old shit he’d been like this, but that was years ago, he’d mellowed, chilled out. Or so she’d thought. She traced the woven cloth covering their table with her forefinger, wondering where the strong, uncomplicated man she was dating had gone.

“Yeah, mate, I ordered a beer, not a cider.” He lifted up the glass and tried to push it into the hands of the waiter. “Just swap it will you?”

The waiter, an attractive young man who glanced uncertainly at Ri who was determined to avoid his eye, stammered slightly on his response, “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t take that back, you’ve drank from it.”

Koni stared him out for a moment. “Yeah, because I thought I’d been brought the drink that I asked for.” His voice had risen only very slightly. “I didn’t think that some idiot would have ignored me and brought me whatever suited them.”

“Koni,” Ri interjected softly, “you like cider, just drink it.”

“It’s not what I ordered Ri!” He rounded on her, slamming the glass back down so even more slopped over the rim and onto the already stained tablecloth. “I ordered a beer and I got a cider. That’s not what I signed up for!”

She narrowed her eyes, turning to the waiter who was hovering nervously. “Can we just have a beer please? What was it, Budweiser? Don’t worry about the cider,” she slid it so it stood in front of her, “I’ll drink it.”

The waiter nodded gratefully, leaving them to it.

“You don’t even like cider.”

She took a long sip to prove him wrong and swallowed it, fighting the twisted face of disgust that was threatening to take over. Good god that was disgusting. “What’s going on?”

“I’d love to know! The service in here used to be great.”

“Not with the restaurant Koni, with you. What didn’t you sign up for? I know you’re not one for metaphors so this must really be something. I don’t get it, I thought we were ok?”

He stared at her, long and hard. Then he cocked his head. “Do you still love me Ri?”

She hung her head back with a groan. “Not this again Koni.” She whined, “How many times do we have to do this?”

He reached across to grab her hand. “Just one more. Tell me.”

She leant her head back down. “Yes,” she breathed, exasperated, “you know I do.”

“You never say it.”

“I said it last week Kones! You were there, in the conversation!”

He leant back again, releasing her hand, his eyes casting down to the menu. “What do you want to eat?”

“Are you still mad at me about going off with Bennie?”

Koni’s eyes flicked up over his menu. “Can we have one night where we don’t talk about Benedict goddam Cumberbatch? What do you want to eat?”

She wasn’t one to let things go. “You are aren’t you? Is that was all this is about? Dragging me out and being a little bitch all night? Are you trying to stake your claim on me or something?” She dragged her own menu towards her, scanning the starters angrily. “Why don’t you just piss on me and really show everyone who I belong to.” She mumbled irritably.

Koni’s chair scraped noisily on the floor as he stood up. “What did you say?” He asked loudly. Eyes were on them, Ri could see the owner hovering, wondering whether it was worth approaching Koni.

“Sit down.” She hissed, she could feel her face growing hot.

“Say it again, Ri.” He demanded, his hands on the table, leaning forwards so he loomed over her.

“Koni I swear to god we are about to fall out big time.”

“Excuse me sir, is everything alright?” The owner had decided to brave the situation and try to diffuse it before all her customers were disturbed.

“No, apparently I’m a possessive nutjob,”

“Did I say that?” Ri growled. “Sit down.”

“Please, if you’d like to sit down, then we can see about another round of drinks.” The owner clung on to Ri’s suggestion, glancing her way as if to ask for help.

She sighed and said, almost too calmly. “Koni if you don’t sit down I’m walking out right now. I’m not just taking about the restaurant.”

It was an empty threat, they both knew it, she would never leave him. But he obeyed all the same, even the thought of her walking out on him turned his blood to ice, and slowly sat back down, all the time glaring at her with his dark eyes.

“If I can get you anything else?” The owner was trying very hard not to be annoyed.

“Some garlic bread would be amazing. Thank you.” Ri watched her scurry off, her long hair dancing behind her, and mutter into a waiter’s ear, probably suggesting the kitchen staff spit in their food. “This kind of shit has to stop. It’s stressing me out.”

Koni huffed loudly, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s the second time you’ve said that tonight.”

“Yeah well then it must be true.”

She wondered if Martin was at the house yet, if he and Bennie were chatting amiably, like good friends, eating nice food and drinking expensive wine. She was insanely jealous. She should have fought more to stay, then she wouldn’t be stuck here with a grumpy Koni. Then again had she objected he would have been in a worse mood, potentially ruining the night for Bennie. She wouldn’t let Koni do that to him.

She also wondered whether or not Martin knew about her, whether Bennie had confided in him about their… dalliances. Or whether to him she was just his housemate’s girlfriend, a girl who showed up every weekend and disappeared from his mind and his life in the week.

She jumped as a circular garlic bread was set down in front of them. “Thanks,” She mumbled, no longer hungry, but grabbing a large piece anyways.

They ate in silence, chewing slowly, avoiding the eye of the other. By the time half of it was gone the rest had turned cold. She vaguely thought about what a waste it was, and found herself not really caring.

Something must be wrong; circular, dough based Italian foods were the closest thing she had to a God.

“I wanna go home.” She heard herself say.

“You what?”

“I want to go home. I’m not having fun, you’re not having fun. I think we should leave.”

“What so you can join that little dinner party?” He spat.

“What the hell’s wrong with you? Who even are you?”

“I’ll tell you who I’m not. Bennie. And that’s the fucking problem isn’t it? You’re not sat here with him so you wanna leave.”

“Jesus Christ, change the fucking record, you’re starting to sound like a damn parrot.”

She stood up herself, slinging her bag over her shoulder and storming to the counter to request her jacket.

“You can’t go back.” Koni growled, following her. “Not without me.”

“Oh and are you going to stay here and finish your romantic meal are you?”

Their voices were raised, and they didn’t care that the entire restaurant was listening in. “Maybe I will, you obviously don’t need me do you?”

She gave a loud, shrill cry that had the few people burying their heads in their food to turn their way. “Poor fucking Koni! Hard done by, his asshole girlfriend daring to have other people in her life. How _does_ he stand it? Why _does_ he put up with it?”

Someone hurried to their side. “I’m afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.”

“We’re going!” She snapped. “I just want my coat.”

It arrived super quick, shoved into her hands in an attempt to usher them out faster. They spilled out into the cold night, their hot breath curling in front of their faces. She tugged her coat on violently, buttoning it up so aggressively that she pulled one off in her fingers. It was hurled to the ground, where it bounced and lay discarded in the wet gutter.

“This can’t go on Koni. I can’t deal with it anymore!”

“And I can? You think I like feeling like this? Jeeeesus, it’s like you actually _want_ to hurt me.”

“Why would I do that?” She shrieked, her voice rising several octaves. “Why?!”

“Because you like to hurt people Ri!” He yelled in her face, his breath smacking her like a fist. “You like to punish them and you’ve never forgiven me for leaving you.”

“Well then you shouldn’t have left. You shouldn’t have listened to that crazy fucking psycho bitch, you should have stayed with me, your _family_. You tossed me aside like I was nothing to you. You can’t tell someone you love them and then do that, it’s not fair!” Tears were running down her face, she could taste them, salty on her lips, as she brushed at them angrily with the back of her hand. It was his fault, he had dragged up old ground. They were past that, they were over it, but obviously Koni didn’t think so, it still haunted him. She turned on her heel, striding away at a fast pace.

“Where are you going?” he called after her, jogging to her side.

“I’m going home.”

“What are you going to walk?” He asked sarcastically.

She stopped, turned to him and pushed.

Hard.

His firm chest resisted against her palms at first, but it soon gave way and he stumbled backwards. A growl rose in his throat as he advanced but she held up her finger warningly. “Don’t you dare follow me home!” She screamed.

“It’s my house!”

“I don’t give a shit! If you come near me I’ll scratch your goddam eyes out. You’re the one who’s acting like a dickhead, you’re find somewhere else to sleep.”

“I’m not-”

“If I have to share a bed with you tonight Koni there won’t be a relationship to save in the morning. I’m deadly serious, I don’t think I can even look at you for at _least_ twelve hours.”

He watched her storm away, surrendered. He should go after her, make sure she was safe, she shouldn’t be wandering around the streets of London on her own, but he was scared what she’d do to their relationship if he did.


	25. Chapter 25

The door swung open, crashing into the wall significantly louder than usual.

Bennie narrowed his eyes. “They’re back early,” he commented, surprised. He wasn’t expecting Ri and Koni for at least another couple of hours, they’d only left forty five minutes ago. Footsteps stomped up the stairs, and someone, they assumed Ri from the high pitched ramblings, was mumbling loudly. They caught the odd swear word.

“…fucking asshole…thinks he can…Jesus Christ…un- _fucking_ -believable…”

More doors slammed upstairs as she stormed about. Then an enraged cry made Amanda jump.

“Maybe I should just make sure they don’t kill each other.” Bennie decided, pushing out his chair.

“Is that really a good idea?” Martin ventured. “Maybe just let them have it out.”

Bennie shook his head. “They could be screaming at each other for hours if I don’t do something.”

When he reached their room he hesitated, had he misinterpreted the loud noises? Was it some kind of foreplay that he was about to burst into?

Tentatively he knocked.

The door flew open so violently he was surprised it stayed on the hinges. Ri, red faced and practically foaming stood before him. Her expression softened slightly. “Forgot you were in.” She mumbled, leaving the door open and turning to throw herself on the bed. He took it as an invitation to enter.

“Yeah, Martin and Amanda came round tonight.”

 “Oh yeah, the dinner party.”

“Where’s Koni?”

She made an animalistic noise in her throat and he took a step back. “In the deepest pit of hell I hope. He’s fucking crossed the line, Bennie I tell you. Screaming in the restaurant, yelling at the waiters. I was this close to punching him in the throat.” She held up her finger and her thumb, there was barely space between them. “Bastard.” She hissed, her words thick with venom, “A fucking embarrassment. You know they had to ask us to leave he was being such a dick?” She stood up, pacing the room.

“So…where is he?”

“I don’t give a shit. I told him not to come back here though. I’d throw him out the fucking window.”

“Did you come back alone? You didn’t walk did you?” His face grew greatly concerned.

“No, believe it or not I am capable of sitting in a taxi and giving the correct address.”

But he was shaking his head. “You shouldn’t get into taxis on your own you know. You’re a young girl on your own they could take advantage.”

She heaved an almighty sigh that manifested into another growl. Bennie looked around nervously, unsure of how to answer. She noticed.

“Go back to your party Bennie.” She crossed the room and heaved open the top drawer of the chest of drawers, pulling out her pyjamas, flinging them onto the bed as if they themselves had caused her great insult.

“Have you eaten?”

“Yeah, we managed to get half a starter in before battle commenced.”

He gave a little grin. “Do you want to join us for dessert?”

She laughed out loud bitterly. “No.” Her expression softened. “Thank you. I’m not exactly dinner companion material right now.” She wiped her face with the back of her hand where angry tears had streaked.

He automatically put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, and felt her relax a little at his touch. “It’s chocolate cake?” He said persuasively, raising an eyebrow.

Her giggle caught her off guard, as did the “Fine.” that crept out of her mouth.

His smile widened. “Great! I’ll set another place.” He bounded out of the room and she watched him go, disturbed by his happiness.

She’d never seen him fly off the handle, which was impressive seeing as he’d been living with Koni for quite some time. Her blood boiled at the thought of Koni and she took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She’d have to redo her makeup, and she wanted to change her clothes.

Why was she being an idiot and going down?

She should go to bed, sleep off the anger and then calmly discuss it with Koni the next morning when they had both cooled off.

Because Bennie was down there, that’s why. And despite her resistance to him, he had an oddly calming effect on her.

Not to mention the prospect of meeting and dining with Martin Freeman.

She pushed the heel of her hand to her forehead, hoping the action might unscramble the mess that was her brain. Her eyes scanned the room as she stepped out of her clothes, leaving them in a pool on the floor. She’d pick them up tomorrow.

What did she have to do for Koni to get back to normal?

For them to get back to normal?

His increasing irritation was beginning to worry her and though she knew he’d never intentionally hurt her, she had been scared tonight, when he loomed over in the restaurant, when he’d advanced on her after she’d shoved him.

Sometimes he’d get a look in his eye that threatened violence and she’d never seen it directed at her until now. His dark eyes clouded over furiously, his face as hard as stone as his jaw clenched like a snake dislocating to swallow a hippo whole. The muscles in his arms pulsed as his fists balled while he decided whether or not to throw the first punch. From her experience he rarely did. His favourite move was a tackle, diving at his opponent with surprising dexterity, clutching their waist and slamming them to the ground. That was usually the time someone rushed in, mostly Nook who’d received more than his fair share of swings from his older brother, or sometimes Jackson who was the only one to reason with Koni’s cold fury. It had taken two or three men to hold him back when he got himself worked up, and though she’d only see him lose it a couple of times, she didn’t like what she saw. She wouldn’t class him as violent, his temper was short sure, and he snapped at her regularly, but he was never ever violent to her, not unless she asked him to be.

Her hands instinctively shot to her hair, running themselves religiously through it as a sort of stress relief. She pulled on a maroon t-shirt and some black leggings and laced up her boots- she didn’t think slippers were appropriate dinner part footwear, and was applying a coat of mascara when there was a knock on her door. “Come in.” She called, grinning lightly at Bennie in the mirror.

“Did you change your mind?”

She shook her head, “No, I’ll be right down.”

“Dessert’s up. I made it myself. Come on before it gets cold.” He stepped further into the room as she replaced the lid on the mascara, screwing it shut tightly. She straightened up from her crouch in front of the small mirror.

“Okay.”

He eyed her casual attire briefly, but didn’t say a word, instead stepping behind her and guiding her out the room with lightly placed hands on her shoulders.


	26. Chapter 26

She felt her anger slowing ebbing away with each bite of chocolate cake. She knew Bennie hadn’t made it himself, despite his insistence otherwise, it was just too perfect to be created by an amateur. Sure he was talented but even he couldn’t be a top notch chef on top of it all.

The sweet fudge topping was warm and slid easily down her throat and the sponge was moist and light, and she experienced an unexpected crunch now and again from the hidden chunks of chocolate. The kick she usually got from the glorious cocoa bean started to set in, her endorphins crackling to life as her brain blocked out the previous events of that night. It had been served with vanilla ice cream- something she wasn’t a fan of- but it was strong and sweet and it melted next to the hot cake, so her plate swirled with chocolate fudge and liquid ice cream.

She noticed Bennie was watching them cautiously out of the corner of his eye, and his gaze flicked continuously to her- his greatest critic. He knew Amanda would praise it whatever it tasted like and although Martin would joke about it being god awful, he’d follow it up with sincere gratitude. But Ri wouldn’t hold back. As she set her fork down he glanced her way expectantly.

“I’m calling bullshit.” She shook her head. “There’s no way you made that.”

He grinned, evading her accusation. “So you liked it?”

“It was amazing. Better than that Italian we went to. But then I have always liked M&S desserts.”

He shook his head. “It wasn’t from M&S, it was from our dear little kitchen here.”

She scoffed, but said no more.

“So what do you do Ri?” Amanda asked pleasantly.

“I’m a student.”

“Wow! You are young!” Martin’s eyebrows rose.

She nodded cautiously. “Twenty.”

“Fuck!” He spluttered, leaning back in his chair. “I remember when I was twenty.”

Ri sighed wistfully. “When dinosaurs roamed the earth.” She said in a dreamy voice.

Amanda chuckled as Martin attempted to keep a straight face. “He wasn’t wrong about you.”

Her eyebrows knitted together as she shot a glance towards Bennie. “Why, what’s he been saying?”

“Oh this and that.” He winked conspiratorially and she decided that she liked him.

“So why’ve you two not been up before? I asked Bennie but he dodged the question.”

“As I recall you were deciding which picture you should get Martin to autograph first.”

She elbowed him in the ribs. “Shhh! That was meant to be a secret.” She looked over the table at them. “I was going to put them with my cheekbone shrine.”

“She’s all about the zygoma.”

“Fuck off!” She scoffed. “Zygoma? Who are you trying to impress Dr. Cumberbatch?” She was feeling better already, the disastrous dinner date come screaming match was being driven from her mind as she bantered softly with the three actors.

Bennie went to fill her glass, but she put her hand over it. “No wine for me.” She shot him a look. Last time she’d drunk wine with him it hadn’t ended well.

“Of course. I forgot you don’t like it.”

“It’s more the effect it has on me.” She rose a brow and smirked when he blushed at the memory.

"Have you two slept together yet?" Martin asked it so calmly and so casually it was as if it was all part of the polite dinner conversation. Benedict's mouth fell open, Ri’s brows rose, disappearing into her hairline and Amanda nudged her partner in the ribs reproachfully.

"Excuse me?" Ri gasped, still coughing slightly.

"He's kidding."

"No. No I'm not, seriously has he had his way with you yet?"

“No he bloody well hasn’t.” She was irritated at the offhand way he was suggesting she’d cheat on her boyfriend. Sure, she and Bennie had made out that one time when they were drunk. And then that other time when they weren’t so drunk.

But sleep together?

Martin held his hands up. “Just checking.”

“Well don’t.” She growled back.

Had Bennie told him about their encounters? She knew they were good friends, but surely he wouldn’t risk Koni finding out for bragging rights. Koni would without a doubt fly off the handle. His erratic behaviour tonight was just another reminder that he was as unpredictable as he had been as a teenager. And Bennie wasn’t just getting his drinks order wrong and taking his time with the menu, he was messing around with the one thing Koni allowed himself to care about. She shot him a nasty look, while Amanda did the same to Martin, mouthing to him, “What did you do that for?”

Bennie looked confused, and slightly hurt at her accusatory glare and when she picked up some of the plates to topple them into the sink after they’d finished he helped her, and suggested Martin and Amanda retired to the lounge. “What was that look for?”

“Have you said anything to him?” She rounded on him, “About…us?”

“Us?” Bennie rose a brow.

“You know.” She waved her hand impatiently, stalking to the table and picking up red tinged wine glasses. “Those accidental times we kissed.”

“They weren’t exactly accidental.”

“You goddam better believe they were.” She pointed at him, her fingers still curled around the glasses. “I’ve got a boyfriend. A scary-ass, madly jealous one. You didn’t fucking hear him tonight, I think he’s finally lost it. If he knew he would actually kill you with his bare hands. And then me.” She plonked the glasses on the side next to the sink and scratched her eyebrow. “I’m sorry Bennie,” she sighed loudly, “I just can’t deal with his shit anymore. I’m just not in the mood to be teased.” She rolled her shoulders back several times, trying to coax out the kinks and tight muscles, moving her neck from side to side to stretch it out.

“Here.” He stepped behind her and lay his hands on her, pushing his thumbs into her back and rubbing the heel of his hand over her tense shoulders.

“No,” she shrugged him off, pushing herself away, “this is exactly the kind of stuff we need to stop doing. Just…” she ran her hands through her already messed up hair, “act like friends do alright?”

“I was!” He protested. “That was just a friendly massage.” He wanted to put his hands on her again.

She stared him out, weighing up the possible problems that may arise from a simple massage. “Fine.” She sighed turning back around. She _was_ tense, she did need someone to help relax her muscles, and seeing as Koni had decided to be the world’s biggest dickhead then Bennie would have to do. It was harmless.

It was.

He gladly obliged, enclosing his hands around her shoulders again, rubbing them firmly over her taut muscles, slowly.

“You know it would work better if you had your top off.”

She elbowed him sharply in the stomach.

“Hey Ben,” Amanda’s voice plucked them out of their moment. “Oh.” She stopped short as she opened the door and saw them by the sink. “Martin was just asking about coffee?” she had involuntarily rose a brow.

“Coffee. Yeah. Sure.” Bennie slid his hands off of Ri and leant over to click the kettle on.

“You might need to fill it first.” Ri murmured.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Amanda slid out of the room and the door closed with a click.

“Well that was awkward.”

Bennie waited till the kettle was full to answer her. “No it wasn’t. Like I said, just a friendly massage.”

“Yeah.” She said, not persuaded. “It didn’t look like Amanda thought so. You didn’t sound too convinced yourself.” She forced him to look her in the eye.

He shrugged, “What can I say?”


	27. Chapter 27

Martin and Amanda insisted that they needed to get back to relieve the babysitter, but in reality they couldn’t wait to leave the high tension that had been growing since Martin joked about them sleeping together.

“Are you sure you can’t stay a little longer? Give her an extra tenner or something?” Bennie asked.

“Sorry, mate. We already owe her one from the other night. Thanks for dinner though.”

Amanda nodded, kissing his cheek fondly. “Thank you Ben, we had a great time.” She turned and embraced Ri gently. “It was great to meet you.” Ri squeezed back. “Sorry about Martin, just ignore him.” She whispered in the young girl’s ear.

“Thanks. It was lovely to meet you both.”

There were a few more pleasant goodbyes, and thank-yous and promises to let them know they got home safe, before the couple slid into the back of a taxi and were whisked off home.

“That was more nerve-wracking than meeting your parents.” Ri sighed, heading into the kitchen to wash up.

“Leave that.” He insisted, locking the front door and following her through.

“Don’t worry about it.” She twisted the hot tap on and squirted some unnaturally blue washing up liquid into the sink, watching as the bubbles slowly built up.

He swept the lounge, picking up the coffee mugs and the few wine glasses that had been brought through. Upon his re-entry he set them down next to the sink.

Her hands were plunged into the soapy water, digging out a side plate and rubbing it clean. He had stepped behind her and grabbed her waist before his mind could compute what he was doing, his fingers slipping under her top so he could touch her warm skin. He saw her eyes close in the reflection of the window, and her body stiffen, and it thrilled him. For a moment neither of them said a word.

"Unless you're going to follow that through, you need to take your hands off me." She spoke in a shaky voice, desperate to keep how much he was affecting her a secret.

This was it, the green light, she had given him the go ahead, what he had wanted to hear for weeks now, even months. So he dipped his head over her shoulder and planted his lips against her bare neck softly. She gave the quietest of moans, and it gave him such ultimate pleasure that he needed to hear it again, craved to make her groan at his touch again. He increased the pressure of his lips, flicked out his tongue to taste her skin, running it over the curve of her neck. Ri gasped sharply, automatically backing into his crotch, grinding against him in appreciation. It was his turn to moan, a deep rumble in his throat that put a wicked smile on her face. She spun to face him, their eyes meeting.

Then a long sigh escaped her. “You need to stop doing this to me.” 

He shook his head, "We don't have to do this." he whispered. But his actions betrayed him, he cupped her face and planted a kiss, gentle, on her lips. He didn’t want to feel like this. He didn’t want to want her. He didn’t want to need to touch or kiss or fuck another’s man’s girlfriend. It went against everything he believed in, every moral instinct. But then why was he still touching her? Why were his hands still cupping her face, his body still pressing against hers?

She cast her eyes down. How many times were they going to do this dance before one of them caved in? "And then what?" She hissed.

"What?"

"What happens when we don't? Are we just going to keep making out every time we're alone? Or drunk? And what happens when that’s not enough?"

He shook his head again. "No, we don't have to do anything."

She scoffed finding that hard to believe. Would he never touch her again? Or kiss her? Would she ever be able to just be friends with him when they were repeatedly drawn to each other? Even when they didn’t give in, she still wanted him, she still felt a desire for him.

"And what if we do?" she had already kissed Bennie, run her hands over him, sighed and moaned at his touches and kisses. If Koni knew, she was certain of his reaction. Overboard, aggressive, possibly even dangerous. Was she really going to sleep with Bennie and commit the ultimate betrayal? She'd never get back from it, once it was done it was done, and she knew herself too well to be able to live with it.

Bennie's sigh echoed her own, long and heavy. He knew they shouldn't, he knew all too well that they shouldn't. The inappropriateness of the situation was as solid as a brick wall. His housemate's girlfriend? He'd never believed himself capable.

Until they'd met.

It was strange, it was different. There were so many reasons why they shouldn't, and only one why they should: they both wanted to.

He had moved a few inches back, to give her space, and she was grateful for it.

"We deal with it. However you want to." He wanted to deal with it by dragging her upstairs and pulling her clothes off night after night, starting now.

She gave a small nod, pushing her small palm into his and twisting their fingers together. If she couldn't sleep with him then she wanted to touch him still.

“I didn’t like seeing you like that.” He murmured, low and close. His breath hit her, like Koni’s had earlier that night, but this wasn’t a smack to the face, this was soft fingers stroking her skin.

“What?”

“So angry, so upset. Why do you put yourselves through it?” his fingers were moving in her hand. He wanted to kiss her again.

“I need him.” She dropped her gaze, it was true; without Koni she was just another lonely headcase. She stood on tiptoe, pressed her lips to his forehead sweetly and then left him, once again standing alone by the kitchen sink, wanting her.


	28. Chapter 28

 She didn't knock, didn't think, just flung the door open.

Light spilled into the room in a golden rectangle that didn't quite reach the bed, but in the darkness she could see his silhouette, sat up and gazing at her. She reached him in seconds, crashing into his body, their lips meeting furiously, desperately, trying to take as much of each other in as they could. Between frenzied kisses he tried to speak.

"You changed your mind," the glee wasn't hidden very well, at the time she was running her hands down his naked chest and tracing the skin above the band of his boxers. He in turn pulled her t-shirt over her head, kissing her bare stomach and breasts.

"Apparently," she gasped as his tongue found her nipple, "I can't resist."

He flipped her over so that she was on her back, dragging his hands slowly over her stomach, round her back and finally cupping her backside, squeezing it lightly. It sent thrills through him, she was underneath him, breathless in his hands, her own hands tugging desperately at his underwear. It was all he ever wanted.

He went back to her mouth, kissing her was his new favourite pastime, if they could do this all night, he'd be more than happy.

But there were bigger things to be getting on with than innocent kisses, and she hadn't battled with her conscience so that they could have a sweet make out session.

She had finally freed him from his boxers, and her own hands ran the curve of his backside, up his firm back and back down again, coming to a standstill round the front.

A low moan left him as she curled her fingers around him, teasing, painfully slowly.

“Ri.” He growled and she closed her eyes at that beautiful sound. The way her name left his mouth in a moment of pleasure sent a cold shiver through her body. A shiver she wanted to feel over and over.

“Say it again.” She murmured against his mouth, his lips intent on devouring her.

“What?” He breathed, his concentration slipping as she moved her hand expertly, increasing and decreasing pressure in the perfect spots, twisting slightly, changing speeds.

“Say my name again, just like before.” In her free hand she took his face, and waited till he met her eye.

Then he smirked. “Why, do you like it?” Then gasped sharply as she squeezed. “Good god Ri.” He whined, grabbing her wrist in one hand and trying to tug it away. He needed her, he needed to have her right now and if she carried on her delicious handjob he’d come too quickly. “Stop, stop.” He breathed. She let go reluctantly, titling her head to one side.

“You don’t like it?” She whispered.

“I like it very much, that’s the problem.”

She grinned, tilting her head back into his pillow, exposing her long pale neck. The feeling of being pinned underneath him stirred some animalistic need in her. She didn’t want sweet, loving sex with this man, she wanted him to do terrible things to her; she wanted to wake up with finger shaped bruises on her wrists, she wanted to scream loudly and writhe beneath him in ecstasy, she wanted to hear him pant and moan and whimper her name into her ear, into the room, into the house. She wanted the walls to absorb the sounds they’d make, to remember them. She wanted to be fucked.

He took the cue, setting his mouth to her neck longingly. His teeth sank into her skin, making her give a little cry and whisper, “Fuck.” His lips kissed and sucked, his tongue licked, his entire mouth claimed her neck for his own, leaving bite marks, forming hickeys and thin trails of shimmering saliva as his flag. He wanted to take her slowly, enjoy every single inch of her, burn it into his memory like a cattle brand, hot and permanent. But he didn’t think he had it in him to wait much longer.

All the time she cried and hissed and whimpered beneath him, her hips thrusting upwards into his with every nip and kiss. “Tell me one thing.” She moaned as her fingers dug into his shoulders.

“Anything.” His voice was muffled against her skin, he was propping himself up on one elbow, his other hand had found her breast, his finger and thumb rolling her hard nipple.

“Did you really make that chocolate cake?”

He pulled back to look at her and burst out laughing. “Jesus Ri, you sure as hell pick your moments!” his lips were red from their expedition over her neck.

“Just tell me.”

He smiled and winked, returning to her skin, biting down hard to make up for the interruption. His free hand caressed down her stomach and settled between her legs, stroking her with a feather light touch.

“Okay, okay!” she gasped eventually, “You’ve turned me on enough. Please, just fuck me now.”

He didn’t realise, until the moment she said it, how painfully desperate he had been to hear those glorious words. He kissed the lips that had said them and pulled back. “Just one more time, I need to hear that again.”

She leant her head against his, staring him dead in the eye as she said slowly, loudly, “Fuck. Me. Now.”

He nodded, “Yes Ma’am.” And positioned himself above her. "Wait, wait, wait!" he said, before all reason was completely lost. She sighed impatiently. He was having second thoughts _now?_ "Are you..." he paused, looking slightly nervous for some reason, "protected?"

"Yes," she laughed in relief, "don't worry about that,"                               

He nodded, grinning. That would be a fine turn of events if she ended up pregnant. And so he proceeded, sliding into her with a groan of satisfaction that she echoed. He rocked into her, slowly at first, as she curled her fingers into his hair and panted in ecstasy. Their eyes met in a moment of electricity and they both grinned with a wicked sense of pleasure. Bennie picked up speed, thrusting into her faster and deeper, she made a noise deep in her throat, and he grinned, closing his eyes as waves of desire flooded his body.

Her hands were indecisive, one moment pulling his dark hair, another running over his neck and squeezing his shoulders, the next gripping his back tightly, leaving tiny grooves from her fingernails.

The sharp sensation only heightened his experience of her.

He briefly thought about the aftermath, about her face when the guilt flooded in, but he was dragged outside of his head as her moans grew louder and more frequent, and her hold on his skin tightened. He thrust harder into her, his desire reaching breaking point as she squirmed underneath him, fighting to prolong the moments of bliss. She soon lost the fight, crying out loudly as she came, several moments after him, and they lay there, breathing heavily.


	29. Chapter 29

Her eyes grew heavy in the thick darkness, her pillow was rising and falling gently, the steady drum of a heartbeat lulling her to sleep. Bennie's large hands were stroking her hair slowly, and she couldn't help feeling relaxed. He wanted her to stay, so they could wake up like this, so he could watch her sleep and kiss her in the sunrise. But Koni would be back by morning, and she needed to wake up in his bed. So she sat up wearily, ready to leave the warmth.

"No," Bennie whispered, whining like a child, "not yet."

"I'm falling asleep." she whispered back, "I can't stay any longer."

He understood, he did, and he knew he was lucky to have even stolen this last hour with her, but it still didn't stop him protesting.

"Just stay," there was a hint of pleading in his voice. "We'll set an alarm, wake up early enough."

She rolled over onto her stomach to face him, stroking a stay curl off of his forehead. "I don't know when Koni will be back. He might decide to walk through the door any second. I can't be here when he does."

So he let her pick up her pyjamas and walk out the door. But he caught up to her in the hallway, still naked, and kissed her. "I don't want this to be it." he whispered, his hands cupping her face. She closed her eyes, squeezed his hand and hissed back,

"I'll see you tomorrow," turning and leaving him, to slide into the cold empty bed that belonged to Koni.


	30. Chapter 30

He woke up oddly happy, and it took a moment to realise exactly why. Then the memory of her flooded his mind and a grin spread wide across his face. He reached out to grab her warm body and pull it against his own, to enjoy their first morning with cosy happiness. His arm hit empty mattress and his eyes flew open. A loud sigh escaped his lips.

She'd left in the very early hours of the morning to sneak back into Koni's bed. He thought about knocking to see her, but then Koni might have returned after their fight. For all he knew they could be making up right now.

His stomach flipped uncomfortably at the thought.

"Stop it." he hissed to himself. She was in a relationship, he knew that, he'd always known that. So slowly he got up, pulling on a pair of jeans, ruffling his sleep crumpled hair, and vaguely wishing she had been there when he had woken up, so they could have talked about it out of Koni’s earshot.

Because they sure as hell needed to talk about it.

He heard movement downstairs, plates and cutlery scraping around. Maybe it was Ri down there. Maybe he could catch her on her own.

***

Koni leant against the counter, watching her standing on tiptoe and reaching for a plate in one of the highest cupboards. He could have easily grabbed it himself for her, but he liked to watch as the muscles in her calves tightened, defining the strong legs that usually wrapped themselves around him and as her top rode up her back a little, revealing a band of pale skin. He wanted to reach out and stroke his fingers across it, to feel the goosebumps rise underneath them. But she was still pissed at him.

He’d crawled into bed an hour earlier and woken her up, they’d had a hissed conversation and she hadn’t been as mad as he thought she would be. She just looked tired, she’d said she was tired too.

“…tired of all this bullshit Koni,” she’d whispered “We can’t keep screaming at each other like that, it’s ridiculous.”

He’d nodded, pushing her hair out of her face. “I know.”

“Good.” A sigh, “Breakfast?”

She finally reached the plate and pulled it out of the cupboard, returning to her normal height. Footsteps descending the stairs sent an uncomfortable squirming through her body. She didn’t want to face Bennie just yet. How could she keep the truth from her face in front of Koni?

“Kettle’s just boiled, want anything?” Koni’s voice announced Bennie’s arrival.

He shook his head, his hand rubbing his neck. He couldn’t stop his eyes from flicking to her every now and again, but she refused to even acknowledge him. Koni was none the wiser, still speaking to him, “Well Ri’s got breakfast on the go, if you’re hungry,”

“I’m not your little skivvy Koni. Bennie’s a big boy, he can make his own breakfast.” She pushed past him, mug in hand, into the lounge and switched the television on.

“Don’t take it personally. She’s still pissed about last night.” Koni assured his housemate, following Ri into the lounge and tugging her onto his lap.

“Don’t,” she growled, sliding off, balancing her tea so that it didn’t scald either of them.

He nodded, ashamed for his horrendous behaviour the night before. Little did he know that his shame was reflected in his girlfriend. She was having severe difficulty with the knowledge that the man she had audaciously fucked senseless last night was in the other room, just waiting to catch her on her own and make her face the reality.

Instead he leant towards her, kissing the side of her head softly. “I love you.” He ventured, nervously, desperate to hear her say it back. He needed conformation that he hadn’t fucked up for good this time.

She shrugged, “Are you only saying that because of your little meltdown?” she didn’t want to say it, not with Bennie listening in next door. He’d know she couldn’t mean it, not after the way she had touched him, kissed him, moaned because of him. He’d know better.

But that wasn’t true. Of course she still loved Koni, she always had, ever since they were little. True that had been familial love but love was love right?

“No,” Koni shook his head, his long hair shaking around his face. “of course not.”

She leant close, her lips at his ear and whispered, “I love you too.” She moved back, “But don’t think we don’t need a serious talk. We’ve got problems Koni, we can’t carry on like people who hate each other.”

“I know.”

“The break will be good though,” she promised, stroking his cheek, “It’ll give a chance to miss each other, remember what we actually like about each other.” She grinned as he pushed his lips firmly into hers. His kisses were familiar, she knew them so well, it felt like coming home. “I gotta get to the train station soon.” She said as she pulled back.

Koni nodded. “Sure, I’ll take you. How long have we got?” his eyebrow rose suggestively.

Her stomach turned. “Not long enough.” She insisted.

“Oh come on,” he lowered his voice, “we never got to say a proper goodbye last night. Give me something to keep me going while you’re away. I’m going to be oh so lonely without you.” He leant forwards to kiss her neck and she jumped backwards. Mere hours ago Bennie’s mouth had made itself quite at home there, and she couldn’t have their kisses and saliva unknowingly mixing on her skin.

“No, babe seriously.” She grabbed his wrist and pretended to study his watch, “we should probably leave now actually.” She managed to pull a face that looked disappointed and was impressed when she managed to get away with it.

Koni made a noise in his throat, leaning his head back. “Fine. I’ll go get your bags.” He jumped up and took the stairs two at a time.

She took a deep breath, venturing into the kitchen nervously to put her mug in the sink.

Bennie’s eyes followed her the whole way. “Hey.” He said softly through a mouthful of cornflakes.

“Hey,” she replied, pouring the remaining tea down the plughole and setting the mug on the side.

“Are you ok?” he stood, swallowing the cereal. “I’m worried about you.”

She closed her eyes as he stepped in front of her. “I’m fine.”

“Are you really?” He sounded sceptical. “We should talk-”

“No,” the last thing she wanted to do was talk about it, “we shouldn’t. Don’t make me.”

He reached up to touch her cheek, his fingertips grazed her skin lightly and she let out a shaky breath. She knew what else those fingers could do to her. So she removed herself as the clattering of her suitcase being brought down could be heard on the stairs.

He grabbed her arm, “Please look at me.” He begged in an undertone. “Please.”

She flicked her eyes up to his face reluctantly and he sighed. “Is that everything?” she asked, pulling her arm from his grasp. He caught her hand as she went to leave, twisting their fingers together.

“Please, Ri, this isn’t fair.”

“The only person being treated unfairly here is Koni,” her face screwed up, “We can’t do this,” She whined, “it never happened.”

He let go of her, allowing her to leave the room, as Koni yelled, “You ready?”

“Yeah. Merry Christmas Bennie.” She called jovially for Koni’s benefit.

“Yeah,” he called back, hearing the front door opening, “you too.”


	31. Chapter 31

The next five days passed in a haze of distraction. He and Martin had been called into setlock to film some last minute bonus material for the DVD. He found himself unable to concentrate on anything long enough to be useful. In the middle of an interview on Tuesday morning he found his mind wandering to her hands, how they had gripped his shoulders and his back as he fucked her. He had stopped talking mid-sentence, forgetting his train of thought and where he was. When he shook himself back he blushed furiously, hoping no one had interpreted his expression correctly.

"Ben?" Martin's voice reached him. "Are you ok?"

He nodded quickly "Yeah, sure." he coughed, "Just tired." Tired of not seeing her.

"Shall we take a break for lunch?” the director called, noting the star's distraction.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Martin asked again as they headed to the table of sandwiches. Bennie took two, nibbling at them unenthusiastically "You've been weird all week."

"It's only Tuesday," was his mumbled reply.

"Yeah, and you've managed to ruin nearly every bit of filming we've done."

By Thursday he was entirely preoccupied by her voice, her moans her gasps and pants, how she had whispered his name. Every time someone spoke it was all he heard, and he had to squint and listen really hard to decipher their actual words. He'd wanted to call her, every free second he got saw him pulling out his phone and staring at the screen longingly. But what would he say, "Thanks for having sex with me"? "I can't stop thinking about you"? "I'm ruining my career imagining you naked, underneath me"?

"Can I have a word?" it was Mark, the co-writer, and fellow actor. Bennie nodded, gesturing for him to sit opposite him. "I know you said you're alright, but you seem very...distracted. Are you sure everything's ok?"

Bennie sighed loudly. "I'm just having an off week. My weekend was...odd." he admitted, though 'odd' wouldn't have been his first choice of words, "I'll be back on form soon." he promised, making himself focus hard from then on.

Friday evening saw his dedication return, he was almost back to normal as the pretty interviewer asked him about how he remembered Sherlock’s long deductions. The sparkle back in his eye as he reeled of a complex string of dialogue for her from The Empty Hearse.

The crew dispersed as cut was called and they headed towards their dressing rooms.

"You seeing Ri this weekend?" Martin asked, eyeing his colleague and friend carefully.

"She usually comes every weekend but she’s gone home for Christmas."

"And did she _come_ last weekend?" Martin's eyes sparkled as he said it, laughing as Bennie blushed, glancing around him to make sure they couldn’t be overheard and garbling a quick and unconvincing, “What?”

"Fuck, that didn't take long. Is she why you've been so strange?" He didn't answer, "So what, was it just one time or are you having a full blown affair? You know you _live_ with her boyfriend right?"

"Of course I do!" he hissed. He knew Martin would find out sooner or later, he knew him far too well, but he hadn't guessed he'd figure it out so soon. "I don't know what it is yet, we didn't really get a chance to talk about it." he met his friend's eye, "I know, I know I’m a bad person but...I just can't help it."

"When did it happen? Was it when me and Mand came round?"

Bennie nodded, "After you guys left, yeah. We were going to, and then she changed her mind and then she came into my bedroom a couple of hours later."

"God, you're an idiot. Koni will kill you you know, have you seen him?" he shook his head "I knew something was going on with you two. It was just a matter of time."

"Was it that obvious?"

Martin nodded, grabbing his coat. “She completely overreacted when I joked about you two sleeping together. She’d obviously thought about fucking you or else she wouldn’t have got so defensive. And you don’t shut up about her when you’re here. Sometimes I even forget you two aren’t together.”

*** 

Ri's week hadn't gone any better, in fact it had been much worse. Koni had rang her for his mid-week check-up, and she had found every excuse to hang up. She knew it would seep into her mind, the guilt, but she didn't expect it to make her feel so sick. She couldn't focus on anything her family said to her, and when she sat in a room, with her parents expecting her to participate all she could think about was leaving. But when she was on her own all she could think about was the empty, queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. She was fidgety, restless and preoccupied, and while Bennie had spent his time reminiscing about their encounter, she had begun to regret ever setting foot near his bedroom. She should have stayed in Koni's bed, alone, but faithful, not pressed up against his naked housemate. As the days dragged she found herself planning her defence for if she ever told him, or he found out; she was mad at him that was it, he had pissed her off and she wanted to show him, to get back at him. He shouldn't have acted like an asshole, it was his attitude that had driven her to it. It was stupid of her, and her fault, but maybe if he treated her with some god damn respect from time to time.

The flaws in her great argument grew bigger and bigger as she dwelled on it, like threadbare holes in a tapestry they grew with time. She hadn't been mad at Koni the first time she'd kissed Bennie, or even the second. She hadn't been pissed off lying in his dark room on her own thinking about the man in the next room. She'd been excited, thrilled, turned on.

At least she could get away with avoiding him for a few weeks. The holidays would give her a nice long time to forget all about him.

 


	32. Chapter 32

She loved Christmas at her mum’s place, she always went all out. The house constantly smelled of sweet gingerbread and cinnamon, and the fire was roaring pretty much all the time. At night they didn’t bother with lights, lighting multiple candles throughout the house.

Her mum, Jenny, sauntered into the lounge where Ri was pondering her poor life choices, chewing on her thumbnail absentmindedly.

“Everything alright baby?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah.” Ri turned back to the television.

“You sure? Everything ok at uni? Keeping up with the workload?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.”

Jenny nodded, eying her daughter carefully. She was severely distracted, had been since she’d come home. “How’s Koni?”

Ri pulled a face, “He’s a massive pain in my ass, as per. We had a shouting match in a restaurant the other week.”

“Maria,” her mother warned slowly.

“Hey, it was his fault. I was just retaliating.”

“What was it about?”

She shrugged, “I don’t even remember.”

She shook her head, “He’s so silly sometimes. I don’t understand why he’s sitting on his own in London at Christmas!”

“You know what he’s like. I invited him about twenty times, he just gave me that look.”

Jenny threw her head back and laughed, “Oh that look! I’ve not missed that about him. He could melt walls with his stares when he was younger.”

Ri shook her head. “Tell me about it.”

“And you’re both…ok?”

She met her mother’s eye, “I guess. Things don’t really feel…the same anymore. It’s like we’re two different people sometimes.”

Jenny nodded, perching on the edge of the sofa and taking Ri’s hand. “Maybe that’s not a bad thing.”

“Maybe.”

They sat in silence, their eyes trained on the screen, it was a generic Christmas disaster film, a group of skiers stuck in a snowstorm, their families freaking out. An argument had broken out between a young man and woman, fighting over the best plan of action, it was painfully obvious they would end up together at the end.

“Bet you’re glad to be rid of that Jimmy fella? He sounded like a right a-hole.” Jenny’s voice interrupted the dramatic scene.

Ri smirked, “Yeah, he wasn’t the nicest person in the world.”

“What about this new housemate, what’s he like?”

“Oh, you won’t believe it!” she exclaimed, sitting up. She could tell her mum, she wasn’t going to spill the beans, “It’s Benedict Cumberbatch.” It was weird, she didn’t associate that name with Bennie, he seemed to be like a completely different entity. As aloof, mysterious and distant as before she’d ever met him, the actor, and the celebrity didn’t match the man she shared her weekends with and, more recently, who she shared various bodily fluids with.

Jenny stared blankly at her, “Who?”

Ri sighed, “Benedict Cumberbatch? The actor? Sherlock Holmes?”   

Jenny’s face crumpled in deep thought, “Oh!” she exclaimed eventually. “How did that happen?”

“Koni worked on set and Bennie needed a place to live.”

“Bennie?”

Ri nodded, “Nickname. But yeah it’s weird, having a celeb in the house.”

“What’s he like? Is he up himself?”

She shook her head, “Totally the opposite. He’s really down to earth, a total show off, but no it’s actually really nice to spend time with him.”

“Well that’s good. Maybe having someone level headed around the place will give Koni some inspiration.”

Ri snorted, “I wouldn’t count on it.”

****

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Bennie stared Koni down.

“Sure. No offence but if I wanted a ‘family Christmas’ I’d have gone to Ri’s with her.”

“Alright. I’m just checking.” He paused. “So what are your plans?”

Koni ripped his eyes from the paper. “Oh, you know, various Christmas traditions. Get drunk, sit around in my underwear, watch Jurassic Park.”

Bennie smirked, “Jurassic Park? Festive.”

“That’s kind of the point. Anyways blame that one on Ri, she made us watch it every fucking day, every summer for about three years when she was little. That girl has some strange obsession with dinosaurs.”

Bennie laughed. “Really?”

“Yeah, we all thought she was going to be an archaeologist when she grew up. So her family came to ours for Christmas once and I was in my room trying to get wasted without my parents noticing. She comes trotting in, pigtails and all, waving Jurassic Park around. Without a word she puts it into the VCR and sits there watching it with me. Tradition begins.”

Bennie shook his head, smiling to himself. Ri as a small child with pigtails, obsessed with dinos was just too endearing. “Any reason you’re so anti-Christmas?”

Koni shrugged. “It’s just so…merry.” He spat the word out. “I’m not really into organised fun.”

“Fair enough.” He rooted around in the kitchen, pulling open the refrigerator and dragging out a six pack. “Are you against a few Christmas Eve Eve drinks?”

“Hell no.” Koni reached out to grab a can, popping it open with satisfaction. After a few long gulps he leant back.

Bennie had been wanting to build bridges with Koni, despite Koni having no idea he’d been fucked over. So he planned on making it up to him, or to at least try and start. He’d failed to invite Koni to his for Christmas dinner, but in hindsight it was probably for the best- he’d not exactly run it by his parents if his arrogant, Christmas-hating housemate could join their family gathering.

So at least they could spend an amicable evening together drinking. Bennie would just have to make sure he didn’t have too much, he didn’t want his lips to loosen. He had been dying to talk about his night with Ri, preferably to her, but seeing as she was ignoring his texts he didn’t see that happening. But he felt as if someone should know, someone should appreciate the wonderful way her back had arched as his mouth tried to claim every inch of her skin, or how her soft little gasps had made him feel dizzy with lust. Despite himself he knew that the person who would understand that the best was the man sat in front of him.

He wondered if, in an alternate universe, they would have shared stories about her. What she liked and didn’t like, what drove her absolutely crazy, the perfect spots to run your tongue or clamp your teeth or dig your fingers. Could they have swapped war stories? Laughed about the scratches she left on their backs, or the pain she left in their scalps after she tugged their hair. Wondered aloud which position she preferred, how long to spend on foreplay, if she would ever play along with their various fantasies.

He almost lamented that conversation he would never have. Koni knew her probably better than anyone else, he’d have liked that insight into not only her sexual history, but her personality development, what specifically made her laugh and cry and get angry.

But it would never happen, so while Koni gulped can after can, Bennie limited himself to small sips, increasingly aware of the size of Koni’s forearms and the force of a punch he could throw.

Luckily for him the alcohol didn’t seem to fuel his paranoia, but numbed it. He found himself laughing with the younger man about their time on Sherlock, various situations and crew members who’d made their time onset better and more humorous.

“Do you like living here?” Koni slurred three cans later.

Bennie nodded. “Yeah, I do actually. I thought I wouldn’t stay long but…something’s keeping me here I guess.”

“Ri.” Koni offered him. Bennie blushed, starting to object but Koni waved him off. “No, it fine. Trust me I get it. I’m an asshole a lot of the time. She makes it worth your while.”

Bennie couldn’t not smile, she sure as hell did. “You’re a very lucky man.”

He nodded, “Yeah I know. You should try fucking her,” he took another long gulp, “then you’d know exactly how lucky I am.”

Somehow, Bennie managed to laugh, as if the suggestion was entirely ridiculous. “I’ll leave that to you.”

Koni grinned. “You know I’m surprised at you Cumberbatch. I thought for sure you would have tried something with her by now, we all know you want to.”

He was about to object, but saw no point, Koni already knew he had a thing for her, “Can you blame me?”

“Not in the slightest. But you didn’t, you backed off. I appreciate it, you know? It’s like respectful and shit.” Bennie dropped his gaze, glad Koni was too tipsy to notice his obvious display of guilt. But Koni was too busy rambling. “Can’t say the same for myself though. I tried to fuck her when we were younger. She was seeing this blockhead, what a loser, but I wanted her for myself. So I tried to get her into bed. God Bennie,” his eyes cleared somewhat as he met Bennie’s gaze, “you don’t know how desperate I was for her. I needed her.” He sighed, unaware Bennie knew exactly what he was talking about. “But she was a good little girl. Told me she was flattered, but she was in a relationship.” He screwed up his face. “I was so annoyed. Turns out she was a virgin at the time. I didn’t even know, she told me years afterwards. Imagine, I would have been her first.” He shook his head. He slammed his palm into the table, suddenly irritated. “What a fucking waste. We wasted so much time not being together.”

Bennie sat in silence watching Koni, slowly learning more and more about him. Eventually he asked, “How long have you been in love with her?”

“Too fucking long. Five years? Maybe six? But she was technically still a child so I had to forget about her for a while. I’ve loved her so long I don’t think I remember what it feels like not to.”

 


	33. Chapter 33

“Merry Christmas Eve!” his mother called jovially, making her way into his room and throwing open his curtains. He made an unintelligible nose, pulling the covers over his eyes to block out the light.

“Wake up Benedict!” she was still stomping around his room, cheerfully humming Christmas songs and shaking his legs. “It’s Christmas my boy,” she tugged at his covers, “don’t want to waste it all in bed.”

Wanda usually spent her Christmas Eve preparing the vegetables for the dinner the next day. She had roped her son into assisting her, but she had a secret agenda for her sous chef. As she passed him a wooden chopping board and a bag of carrots she smiled sweetly at him.

“What?” he was already suspicious.

“What do you mean? Can I not be happy it’s Christmas?”

He shrugged, he’d arrived at theirs late last night, having spent most of the day trying to recover from his hangover with Koni and he was still tired. They’d tried to soak up the remaining alcohol in their bodies with bacon sandwiches and, later on, pizza.

“Sorry about last night.” Koni had growled through a mouthful of bread, bacon and brown sauce, “I was pretty gone.”

Bennie shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. You were fine.”

“Nah, I wasn’t. The bitch is even in my head when she’s not around.” He grinned but Bennie frowned. He didn’t like the way Koni spoke about her. “What about you? Got any ladies on the scene?”

Bennie grinned.

“Knew it. You’ve got that ‘just got laid’ look about you.” Koni waved his hand vaguely about him, “who?”

He shook his head, rubbing his neck nervously.

“Alright don’t tell me.” Koni’s eyes widened as it seemed he realised something. Bennie’s heart flipped. Had it suddenly clicked in his brain? “It is a she right?”

Bennie nearly laughed out loud. “Yes.” He said firmly. “Yes, she was definitely a she.”

Koni nodded. “Any good?” he was glad Bennie had stuck his dick in someone. He had showed a weakness the night before, telling Bennie he knew about his crush on Ri. At least this way he knew Bennie was fucking someone else, that’d keep him distracted for a little while at least.

“Incredible.” He smiled to himself, maybe he could have his little chat about Ri after all.

“Yeah?” Koni’s eyes lit up as he reached across to grab his mug, taking a long swill of strong, sweet coffee.

Bennie nodded. “She makes these little noises in her throat that just….” He had to physically restrain himself from rolling his eyes into the back of his head. “It was so good. I think I’ve got scratches on my back from it.” He knew he had, he’d checked in the mirror the morning after and seen tiny crescent shaped marks in his flesh.

“Does she like it rough?”

He nodded again, “God yeah.” He could still feel her wrists being tightly squeezed between his hands if he concentrated hard enough. “She likes biting too.”

“Oh god tell me about it! Ri’s exactly the same.” Bennie’s heart sank into the pit of his stomach. He had momentarily forgotten they were talking about the same person. “I must have had every piece of her in my mouth at some point over the years.”

Bennie closed his eyes. “God, too much information Koni.”

“Sorry,” He laughed. He pulled his carton of cigarettes out of his pocket and stuck one in his mouth. “You mind?” He questioned. Usually he stepped outside for a smoke, not wanting to pollute the kitchen. But it was cold, he was desperately hungover, and he doubted Bennie would mind considerably. The actor shook his head, tempted, for the first time in a while, to smoke along with him. “She suck you off?” Koni asked after a long drag.

Again he shook his head, immediately mournful that she hadn’t, they’d been so desperate for each other they hadn’t even thought about oral. Instead they should have taken their time, exploring each other as slowly and as purposefully as possible. He was already regretting the things they hadn’t done to each other on their one and only time. If he’d have just kept his head they could have given each other so much more pleasure.

“Shame, you suck her off?”

“No.” Why didn’t he? He should have slipped his tongue between her legs, made her scream and writhe with it.

“God what were you guys doing?”

Bennie laughed, despite the tight knot that was building in his stomach, “Hey, we did plenty alright?”

Now his mother was glancing over at him every now and again as he chopped carrots with a sharp silver knife. He slammed it down when the stares didn’t stop.

“Yes, mother?”

“Are you still seeing that girl?”

He sighed loudly. “Which girl?”

“The one from Sherlock, Ben. The girl from the crew.”

“I never told you about that.”

Wanda smiled knowingly, dicing the turnip in front of her. “The walls have ears.”

“Or you have spies. Who told you?”

Wanda carried on grinning, sliding the turnip into a bowl of water with her knife. “I’m not going to give my source away now am I? She was called Abigail right?”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Don’t swear! Not the day before his birthday!”

He chuckled. “It was over before it began. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Hmm. So no grandbabies on the way then?”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

“Shame.” Wanda hovered over his shoulder, checking out his carrot cutting skills. She tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “It’d be nice to have a little one opening presents next Christmas.”

“Yeah it would.” He wished she’d shut up about it sometimes. He was painfully aware at how single and childless he was right now. “But unless you advertise me in the paper like a stud dog in heat that’s not going to happen in the near future I’m afraid mother.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” his mother stroked his arm gently. “What would I say about you then? House trained pup in his prime, loyal, well groomed with a friendly nature?” She chuckled.

He scowled. “You were wasted on screen mother. You should have been behind the scenes writing the comic relief.”

“Isn’t that the truth?” She sighed wistfully, leaving the kitchen momentarily to search out her husband. He had mysteriously disappeared and she assumed he was wrapping her gifts last minute, or Benedict’s. She returned to see her son adding the carrots to her pot of water. “Now my little house trained puppy,” she pecked his cheek fondly, “go call your father down, we’re having lunch soon.”

He rolled his eyes, obeying her instructions nonetheless and stomping upstairs to find his dad.

 

***

 

She settled into bed, her soft mattress moulding to her familiar form, the thick duvet blocking out the December cold. Tomorrow was Christmas Day, she’d have to smile all day, feign surprise at the presents she already knew, greet relatives who she had nothing in common with and laugh at their unfunny jokes. In hindsight she’d have rather stayed with Koni, watching Jurassic park in their underwear, slowly sipping scotch and whiskey.

She snuggled in further, her heavy eyes drooping, and just as she was on the cusp of sleep her text tone rang loudly in her ear.

_-Can I call you tomorrow? I want to wish you a Merry Christmas x_

She sighed. She’d been ignoring Bennie’s texts all week and he’d yet to give in and call her.

_-Sure. X_

What harm could it do? She couldn’t ignore him forever, and after all Christmas was the time for love and family right? If she couldn’t try and get over it now, when would she?

Her mind was no longer relaxed, she was no longer able to drift off to sleep.

What would he say to her? She knew he wasn’t calling for a simple ‘Merry Christmas’, he would try and make her talk about their little adventure.

Would she let him?

She wasn’t sure if she was prepared to face it yet, it had only been a week and a half since they’d slept together and she still hadn’t managed to get the taste of him out of her mouth.

She sighed loudly, kicking the covers off of her and standing by the window. She peered out, no snow as yet, and though she wasn’t holding out much hope, a white Christmas would have been romantic. She turned on her heel, to examine the bed, the covers crumpled.

Her mum and stepdad had moved a double bed into her room whilst she’d been at uni and she was grateful for it, more room to stretch out, roll around and store her laptop for midnight hits of inspiration. But with all the extra space she would have liked a nice warm body to cosy up to on the cold nights. Nice soft hands running up her body, pulling her close, tucking her into them.

But she was alone, no boyfriend or lover to cuddle tightly and grip onto. And tomorrow would be the same, and each night until she returned to the house in London.

She just had to decide whose body she wanted to be gripping onto.


	34. Chapter 34

He’d gotten through Jurassic Park and half a bottle of expensive whiskey he’d found in the cupboard and assumed was Bennie’s by noon. He was thinking about sticking in _The Lost World_ when he remembered he had promised to call Ri, just to see how her day was going.

“Hey,”

“Hi!” She sounded happy to speak to him. “Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, you too.”

“Have you finished the first one?”

“Yup, just about to start _The Lost World_.”

“Ah that’s my favourite one!” She whined.

“I know.” He grinned, taking another quick swig of the amber liquid.

“Text me when Carter gets stepped on by the T-Rex.”

“I will do. How’s your day going?”

“Uneventful. No one’s here yet, so I’m just listening to mum bitching about nothing.”

“And you wonder why I avoid Christmas.” He got down on his knees, removing the first DVD and replacing it with the second with his free hand.

“Yeah well right now I think you’ve got the right idea.”

The theme music blared out of the speakers. “Definitely. I’m gonna go, John Hammond’s calling my name.”

“Wait, mum will want to wish you a Merry Christmas.”

“Oh for f-”

“Hey, you’re family, she wants to talk to you.”

There was a shuffling as Ri went to find her mother and soon enough Jenny’s voice was ringing in his ear. “Merry Christmas Koni!”

“Merry Christmas Jenny. Are you having a good day?”

“Very stressful.” She sighed. “You know you really should be here with us.”

“Yeah, you know I’m not Mr. Christmas. You spoken to mum yet?”

“Yup she rang me this morning. She said she was going to give you a call this afternoon, she didn’t know if you’d still be in bed.”

“Cool.” There was a pause. They had run out of things to say to each other.

Jenny sighed wistfully on the other end. “Well I’ll pass you back to Ri.”

“Thanks. See you soon Jenny.”

“Bye.”

Another set of muffled shuffling, he thought he heard Ri shushing her mother before she was back.

“Hey, look I’ll let you get back to JP. Have a good day.”

“You too, I love you.”

“Love you too Kones.”

He sighed in bliss, this was how Christmas should be spent; relaxing, watching the thing you love, drinking yourself into a happy daze. When he and Ri moved in together this was how they’d spend every year, curled into each other, the heating on full blast so they could laze around in just their pants. They’d take breaks in between films to fuck on the sofa.

He sighed, he missed fucking her. He’d managed to spend their last night together in a cheap ass hotel cursing her, himself and everything he could think of. Now he’d have to last weeks without her. He’d have to check what her plans for New Year were. Hell, not much beat some New Year’s sex,-now that was the right way to bring in a brand new year. Inside of someone else.

Carter yelled loudly as a scaly T-Rex foot descended on him, snuffing out his life.

- _Carter’s squashed x_

He typed out, jabbing send and settling back into the film. He tipped the bottle of whiskey into his mouth only to be met with air. He examined it and realised he’d drunk the whole thing.

Bennie wouldn’t be too pleased, Koni was sure he’d mentioned how it was a Christmas gift from Martin and Amanda.

Oh well. He’d probably only waste it by drinking it in irregular glassfuls. At least Koni fully appreciated the dizzy happiness he was currently experiencing.

His phone rang in Ri’s reply which didn’t make much sense in his inebriated brain.

- _Awesome. Rest in Peace you sassy little shit, you had the best one-liners x_

 

 ***

 

She had two dogs at her feet, each with their own puddle of drool as they watched her peeling sprouts.

“Maria are you almost done? They were meant to go in five minutes ago.” Jenny, half mad in the steam of the kitchen was darting around like a maniac, her usually neat hair sticking out at odd angles, flour scattered across her face and arms. Ri giggled at her. “It’s not funny! They’ll be here any second and I’m not serving undercooked sprouts.” She leaned over Ri to check. “Is there too many? Do people still eat sprouts at Christmas? Is it a Christmas thing or was I thinking of Easter?”

Ri shrugged, “I dunno. You bought them. Too late now.” She tipped the chopping board so they dropped into the pan of boiling water each with their own dramatic splash.

“Careful! That’s hot!”

“Mum, chill ok?”

“I’ll ‘chill’ when everyone’s fed and happy. This is the last time we’re having Christmas here!”

“You said that last time.” Ri mumbled so that she wouldn’t be heard. She stuck her head out of the door to check the table. “Shall I put the crackers out?”

“Yes! Thank you.”

“No probs,” she shooed the dogs out of the kitchen and stood on a chair to pull down the box of red and gold crackers, placing each one to the left of each set place.

Two pairs of brown eyes watched her every movement, expecting food to be dropped on the floor at any moment.

“I’ve got nothing for you!” she exclaimed as she tripped over them for the fifth time. “I think it’s time for bed.” She ushered them into the back room where two chewed up dog beds sat and rooted in a filing cabinet for a selection of treats to keep them quiet. “Merry Christmas!” she sang as she handed them dried up pig’s ears, holding them with the bare tips of her fingers in disgust. They were snapped up immediately and the dogs curled into their beds to chomp noisily. “Ugh.” Ri shuddered leaving them to it as the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” she offered, knowing her mother was in no fit state to receive company.

She let her grandparents in with a cheery Christmas greeting, trying not to think about how nice it would be to be having a quiet Christmas in London with Jurassic Park blaring out the TV.

“Mum! Nana and Granddad are here!”

“Okay, okay!” Jenny rushed out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. She embraced her parents and immediately waved off their offers of help. “It’s all done now.”

Ri’s phone rang in her pocket and as she pulled it out she studied the name on the screen, surpassing a groan.

“Is that Koni _again_?” Jenny asked with a shake of her head.

“Er…yeah.”

“Well tell him to be quick, as soon as Amelia and the kids get here we’ll be sitting down to eat!”

She ducked out of the room and sat on her staircase, she took a deep breath before answering the call and sticking the phone to her ear. “Hi.”

“Hello, Merry Christmas.” His rich deep voice was like music to her ears. It felt like it had been months since they’d spoken.

“Right back at you. Did Father Christmas bring you everything on your list?”

“Pretty much. He forgot my Oscar though.”

She snickered despite herself. “You at your parents?”

“Yeah, mum’s stressing about the dinner.”

“Snap. Mine tried to start a full blown rant about whether anyone actually likes sprouts. Who actually gives a shit? I can’t wait to get back.”

“Who does she think you’re talking to?”

“Koni. She rolled her eyes for about an hour when I answered the phone. What did you tell yours, or is she not as nosy as mine?”

“I told her it was you.”

“Really? Does she not find it weird you’re ringing me on Christmas?”

“Not really. She already thinks there’s something going on with us.”

She was silent for a bit, “You told your mum?”

“Not outright. I just haven’t corrected her.”

“Why does she even think that? I’ve met her, like, once and that was…before.”

“Well I talk about you a lot. She’s pretty astute, I think she pieced it together from there.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. “Wha-What do you… say about me?”

In her mind’s eye she saw him shrug in the short silence. “The usual. Just little things you’ve said that made me smile. Or you know things you’ve done.”

“What kind of things?” she growled quickly.

“Not _those_ kind of things! I don’t tell my mother about that!”

“Good.”

“So,” This was the talk he had wanted to have with her the morning after. “This isn’t exactly a conversation I wanted to have over the phone but, I think we need to talk about it.”

“Look,” she cut in, needing to take control of the situation right then and there. “I think it’s probably a good idea if we don’t spend as much time together, alright?”

There was a pause as he digested the words. “Yeah. Of course. If that’s what you want. Are you…okay?”

She let out a long sigh, “No.”

“Do you regret it?” Was he going to regret asking her?

“It was…” Good. It was so damn good, “stupid. We obviously just needed to get it out of our system. Now that we have it’ll be fine. We just have to forget about it, go back to normal.”

“Sure.” A pause. “I have to go, mum’s plating up.”

“Yeah, mine too.”

“Bye Ri.”

“Bye Bennie, Merry Christmas.”

But he had already hung up.

She sighed, standing up and re-entering the madness.

***

Her day passed in a blur of food, familial visitations and drink. She didn’t know how, but she’d managed to consume enough mulled wine to have her wobbling around the house. Her cousin had arrived brandishing several bottles of the stuff, homemade of course, and warmed it on the hob. Ri had dipped her wine glass into the large silver pan a few too many times, downing several glasses at a time, unaware at the effect slowly sweeping over her.

By the time she was saying farewell to her grandmother, kissing her clumsily on the cheek, she was full on wasted, swaying dangerously. She received a disapproving look from her grandmother, but she didn’t say anything. She spent most of the evening muttering in the corner with her cousin, swapping tales about universities.

“…swear to god it’s the most unorganised place ever!” Ri was saying. “I dread to think what it would be like if these kinds of people were in charge of prisons or hospitals. Everyone in the country would be dead!”

Rachel shook her head. “Tell me about it. My accommodation is half an hours walk from the uni, and it’s uni accommodation! Don’t even get me started on the tutors.”

“Jesus.” Ri sighed. Pausing to reflect on her own tutors. Most of them were just as bad. “Shitting myself about getting into the real world through.”

“I’m not even a little bit jealous of you.”

She grinned. “This’ll be you next year. Every fucker you meet asking you what your plans are for the future. I just want to crawl into a hole and forget its all happening.”

“Is London still on the cards?”

She shrugged. If she were being perfectly honest she didn’t know what was on the cards. Would she still be with Koni by the time she graduated? Even if she was did she still want to relocate down south? “Who fucking knows anymore? A couple of the housies are staying in Manchester. I might end up getting a place with them again.” She sighed loudly, “Then again I don’t really have much in common with most of them.”

“What about Amber? You’re pretty close with her right?”

Ri nodded. “Yeah. I’d love to live with her, but she’s going to Germany for a year isn’t she? Gonna go teach English there.”

“Shit really? That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah I’m well jealous.” She turned to Rachel, “How about you? Going back into halls again next year?”

She nodded, “Yup. Patrice asked me if I wanted to get a place with her and Caroline but…” she shrugged, “I kind of feel like a third wheel around them.”

Ri glanced through the lounge and into the dining room. Her mother was grinning merrily at her stepdad, wearing a lopsided paper crown pulled out of a cracker. He was trying to do one of the puzzles that also came in the crackers, but Ri hadn’t been the only one to go heavy handed on the mulled wine. She’d also seen him downing several glasses of sherry, winking at her when she caught his eye and saying “Well, it’s Christmas after all!”

She giggled, draining her glass of the warm, spiced wine in her hand. “Another?” she asked Rachel who nodded enthusiastically.

***

By the time the house was empty and the three of them had traipsed upstairs it was already the early hours of Boxing Day. They had drunkenly bode farewell to each other, with a loudly called Merry Christmas to each other as they separated. Ri fumbled with the door handle, but finally got it down and stumbled into her room, falling face first onto the squishy bed.

She was drifting off to sleep, but dragged herself up and pulled her clothes off. She knew that if she fell asleep with her clothes on she’d regret it in the morning. As she fumbled with the clasp on her bra she had a wicked thought.

Someone could make this laborious task much more enjoyable, pleasurable even. She giggled to herself, searching the floor for her jeans where her phone would be lying in its pocket. She scooped it out and scrolled through the last few calls she had received that day, choosing the recipient she wanted and jabbing ‘call’ violently.

The phone rang out longer than she would have liked and she pouted at the phone.

“Ri?” he sounded confused when he finally answered.

“Heeeyy!” she slurred down the phone, “How’s it going?”

Bennie chuckled and the sound sent a shiver through her entire body, “Are you drunk dialling me?”

“Drunk dialling?” she exclaimed shrilly, cackling, “God you really are ancient aren’t you? No one says ‘drunk dialling’ anymore.”

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry.” The sarcasm was thick in his voice, and he wondered why she was ringing him pissed out of her mind.

“So how was your day? Did you eat lots and drink lots and open lots?”

“Yes. Did you? Were you drinking wine again?”

She laughed loudly, then clamped her hand over her mouth. “How did you know? It was mulled and sweet and orangey.”

He grinned to himself, her voice was like honey in his ear, welcome, syrupy and oh so sweet. “It was a lucky guess.” He sighed softly, repositioning himself in bed. It was a single, the mattress old, but it was used to his shape, his weight and he settled into it perfectly. The only thing that would have made it better was if she was slotted into it next to him.

“What are you doing now?” her voice was oddly low, the edge of a growl in it.

“I’ve just got into bed. What about you, are you keeping your parents awake with your drunken escapades?”

“Nooo.” She rolled her eyes, forgetting he wouldn’t be able to see it. “So, you’re in bed?” A slight pause. “Are you thinking about me?”

He groaned in frustration, why did her family let her drink so much wine? She should be calling Koni for this conversation, not him, she had made it quite clear upon their departure that she intended on keeping her relationship with him strictly friendly. “No, Ri. I’m not.” He said firmly enough for her to get the message, but softly enough not to hurt her feelings.

“Well maybe you should be.” She gave a very quiet sigh that almost had him changing his mind, “I’m thinking about you.”

“That’s because you’re drunk, and not thinking straight. Are you sure you rang the right person?”

“Yes Bennie. I’m sure.” He could hear the annoyance in her voice. He wanted more than anything for her to whisper dirty things down the phone to him, but he still had an inch of morality about him- despite his glorious night with her- and he knew she would deeply regret such things when the alcohol had left her brain.

“You are a terrible tease Miss Solomon, but you’ll hate me in the morning if I let you carry on with your wicked plan.”

She chuckled again, “And what plan is that?”

“It sounds like a plan to seduce me.”

“Oh you actors!” she exclaimed, too loudly again. “You think everyone’s desperate to fuck you all the time.”

“What? You mean to tell me they aren’t?”

She smiled, running her hands through her hair and closing her eyes. If only he was here with her, she’d manage to persuade him for round two, then maybe he’d be the one running his hands through her hair. “You should be here with me. I have a double bed you know?”

“Sounds cosy.” His tone was still business-like.

Deep down, through the layers of intoxication she knew how right he was, and it left her in a sigh. “I should let you go to sleep sweetie.”

“Thank you, for calling me. As stupid as it sounds I’ve missed your voice.”

She giggled, “I know what you mean. Night Bennie.”

“Night Ri.” He was glad they were parting on friendlier terms this time.


	35. Chapter 35

“It’s a shame you have to go back so early.”

“Mmm.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay a little longer.”

She shook her head. “No I’ve got plans for New Years.”

That wasn’t strictly true. Emma and Amber were spending theirs at home and Danny had plans with friends from school. Her remaining housemates Katy and Sophia had discussed going out, and then throwing a house party, but between them they were so unorganised that they had finally decided to spend it at home with a few drinks and some loud music.

Not the most ambitious start to the year, but Ri was just about ready for a quiet twelve months.

“Well call me when you get there.” Jenny hugged her tightly. Her concern for her daughter had grown as she became increasingly quieter as the holidays passed.

“Sure. Love you.”

“Love you too sweetie.”

Ri elbowed open the car door and heaved her suitcase out of the boot. “Bye!” she called, giving her mother a final wave and stepping into the train station.

She tugged out her phone as she stepped onto the platform. Three texts from Koni.

_-Hey, what’s the plan for tonight? xx_

_-Yo, you decided what we’re doing yet? I need to know! xx_

_-Plan for tonight?! xx_

She was getting a pretty late train to Manchester, and she was pretty sure if she left it a little longer before contacting him he wouldn’t be able to catch a train. She knew exactly what his plan for New Year would be with her and she was still stewing in her guilt.

She ignored them, she’d reply later, and opened a new message.

_-Hey! I’m getting on my train in a bit. Want me to grab any last minute booze while I’m out? X_

She sent it to Katy and glanced up as the tracks screeched shrilly with the stopping of her train.

_-Yeah! Can you grab me a bottle of gin? And some diet coke for Soph? Lisa’s going to come too!_

Ri racked her brains, Lisa? Was she the French one?

She shrugged, maybe she should have paid more attention to their course-mates. Truth be told they only really came round on weekends for nights out when Ri was in London.

She sighed, having Koni so far away meant she missed out on a lot in Manchester. She’d not had a night out with her housies all year- they usually went out on Fridays or Saturdays, dancing into the early hours in dark clubs to popular music. She kind of missed it, sometimes wondering whether slobbing out on the sofa while her boyfriend whined in her ear was worth it. She only had five months left of her degree, and then she was done- was she wasting her students days holed up in a house in London?

She pulled out her ID, slipping into a corner shop that was closing in five minutes. She grabbed a bottle of gin and a diet coke, passed over her ID and the money and shoved them in her bag. “Happy New Year.” She mumbled on her way out, to no reply.

Her phone buzzed again in her pocket. Koni would be pestering her again for details of the night so she ignored it.

“Hey!” she called loudly as she let herself into the house. “I’m home!”

They were both in the lounge, Katy already had a half empty pint of cider next to her and Sophia was giggling wildly.

“Having a good day are we?” Ri chuckled, handing over the coke and gin.

“Cheers! Yeah. Did I say Lisa’s coming?”

“Yup. Which one’s she again?”

“The French one.”

“Ah, I thought so. Well I better catch up with you two!” she dragged her case into her room, set her phone on the arm of the sofa and went to fix herself a large, strong drink.

“Ri you got a text!” Sophia yelled to her.

“Alright,” she grabbed her vodka lemonade in one hand, rooting in the cutlery drawer for a straw with the other and glided into the lounge, “Let’s see,” she sighed opening an undoubtedly panicky and slightly irritated message from Koni.

She was wrong, it was from Bennie. In fact she had two from him.

- _Hi! What are your plans for bringing in 2014? X_

- _So as fate would have it I’m in Manchester tonight! Last minute change in our plans. I was wondering if you were around? X_

She stared at the message for a little while, her glass halfway to her mouth. Last minute change in his plans? That coincidentally brought him to Manchester? Did she believe it?

“Everything ok?”

“Hmm?” Ri realised her drink was still hanging in the air, “Yeah, yeah. No worries.” She took a large gulp. Before she got a chance to reply he had sent another one.

- _I mean if you’re busy or staying at home that’s fine! I just thought it might be nice to catch up? X_

She sighed loudly. He wouldn’t have come here just for her, he didn’t even know for sure where she would be. It must be a coincidence.

‘As fate would have it.’ That’s what he had said.

Fate had a funny sense of humour.

- _I’m in Manchester. Staying in tonight. Where are you heading?_

“Koni’s housemate is in Manchester tonight. Wants to know if we wanna meet up.”

Safety in numbers. Plus, if he knew she’d be dragging along a fan he might be more reluctant to agree.

“Is Koni with him?”

She shook her head. “Nah just Bennie. And his mates I assume.”

- _Well if you feel like a change of scenery we’re going to a place called The Bijou Club. Shall I put you on the guest list? It would be good to see you x_

“He’s going to Bijou. Isn’t that really nice?”

“Shit!” Sophia, the native Manc exclaimed, “Bijou’s _really_  nice. How’s he getting into there on New Year?”

Ri shrugged. “He’s pretty big news.”

“What do you mean?”

She turned to Katy, was now the time to tell her? She opened her mouth. As soon as the words left she knew their plans would be set, they would undoubtedly spend it with Bennie in the elite Bijou, and she wasn’t sure she was prepared to see him just yet. Despite their amicable phone call last week, their parting had been less than desirable. She didn’t know how she’d react to seeing him again, especially with alcohol in her blood system.

So she just shrugged. “Oh you know. He’s got a bit of money.” She turned back to her phone.

- _Why not? There’s four of us._

There, now he could decide if the invite still stood with extra people.

“What’s he like? He’s not an asshole is he?” Katy had met Koni before.

Ri giggled, “No, he’s lovely.”

“Single?”

She snickered, “Yes, but old.”

Katy’s face fell, “Oh, how old?”

Ri thought. Was he thirty six or thirty seven? She couldn’t remember. Fuck. Thirty seven! And she’d been riding him only a few weeks ago. “Thirty seven.” She decided, to be on the safe side.

Katy screwed her face up, “Shame.”

“But wait,” Sophia said, “he might not be a total loss. Is he hot?”

Ri shook her head in disbelief. “God I forgot what you lot were like.”

“We’ve not all got horny boyfriends to satisfy us you know.”

“Yeah but is he hot?”

“He’s definitely not your type Soph. But I don’t think you’d say no,” she nodded towards Katy.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Katy laughed.

Ri giggled back. “No! Not like that. [i]I[/i] find him attractive, we go for the same kind of guy.”

“Hmmm.” Katy was eyeing her suspiciously, but she had a grin on her face.

 

*** 

 

The club was very…opulent. It wasn’t just the neon lights in the ceiling, it was the glass partitions carved with frosted trees, the wall tiled with square mirrors, crystal chandeliers, the glass table bar and the black leather sofas that all reflected the light. He felt as if he was in some sort of ice palace.

The music wasn’t too bad, not what he’d chose to listen to but they were hardly going to be blasting Sigur Ros were they?

They’d booked a VIP room and were gathered around a table that had a rectangle carved into it, big enough to be filled with ice and champagne bottles.

Conversation had died down, some of his party had left to make the most of the dance floor, and others had gone to check out the heated terrace.

“Is you friend coming?” Adam leaned over and asked above the music.

“I don’t think so.” He answered. If he were being perfectly honest, asking Ri to come had been a mistake. He couldn’t see her being comfortable in this kind of environment, and besides that they hadn’t seen each other since they’d slept together. He wasn’t sure if he wanted the first time they encountered each other to be tonight, drunk and on New Year’s.

But he’d have liked to see her face as 2014 rose over the horizon.

So he pulled out his phone as the lights overhead changed in time to the music.

The place was deceptively big, two floors high with several separate rooms, each decorated decadently with draping black curtains, white tiled or dark wooden floors and expensive furniture. Bennie excused himself to explore the place, glad they had forgone their previous London plans and opted for something different. Even if she didn’t turn up he would enjoy the change of scenery, with close friends in the exclusive club. He was glad paparazzi wasn’t allowed in the place, he could relax so much more when he knew that his every movement wasn’t being documented. There was a commercial photographer milling around snapping promotional shots.

“Can I have a quick photograph?” he asked so politely Bennie couldn’t refuse.

“Of course,” he smoothed out his suit and posed, trying not to blink as the bright flash tried to blind him.

“Thank you.”

He’d stopped wondering how photos of him came out anymore. In the beginning he’d constantly worry that he’d come across in a certain way, or his heavy make-up would show in the blinding glare, or they’d catch him at a strange angle. Now he didn’t care, the camera clicked and he moved on with his life. More often than not he never saw the finished product anyways, so it rarely bothered him.

He weaved his way to the bar and ordered a short whiskey- after all it was a special occasion and considering he’d found his own bottle back at the house stowed under the kitchen sink, every last drop drained, he thought he deserved it. Back at the booth Adam had struck up a conversation with a pretty girl in white dress. He grinned, Adam would be completely oblivious to her flirting and her fluttering eyes, and soon enough he had pulled out his phone, showing her pictures of his baby boy. He chuckled to himself.

“Ben!” a female voice in his ear, “Come dance!” he turned and saw Charlotte tugging at his arm.

He rolled his eyes. “Fine!” But he loved it really, dancing, letting the music take him over and control his body.

***

 

“It’s going down! I’m yelling ‘Timber’!” the four of them screamed at the top of their lungs, dropping to a crouch and surging back up to the beat of the music.

Ri’s head rushed as she stood up straight again, lights flashing in front of her eyes. “Head rush!” she cried. Clutching her temples tightly. As she recovered she had the intense desire to drunk text someone. She pulled out her phone, keying in a message to Koni quickly,

_-Ahh! My phone’s been dead and I lost my charger. We’re just having a quiet night in, you’re not missing anything. Love you x_

She lied, biting her lip but sending it all the same.

There was another text she hadn’t heard ring, it was from Bennie.

- _How’s the party going? It’s pretty impressive here. Doors close in an hour if you’re still up for coming x_

She’d almost forgotten about his invite to the fancy club. She glanced over at her friend’s twirling and dancing manically, swigging drink from the bottles. If she wanted to go she’d have to do some pretty impressive convincing to get them out of the house.

She boogied her way towards them again, getting lost in the song. It was one of her favourites, and she mouthed the words to the chorus as the others shouted it off key. Bastille’s ‘Of the Night’ seeped into her body, Dan Smith’s haunting voice echoing in her bones.

She loved the buzz, the alcohol soaked happiness that gave her the extra boost of confidence to go out and spin to her heart’s content on a dancefloor. She felt free, with just her and the music, no one else mattered.

“It’s Benedict Cumberbatch.” She heard her voice shouting over the music. Her eyes flicked open, she hadn’t meant to say it.

“What is?” Katy asked, her ears pricking at the name.

She should have cared about revealing the secret, but she really didn’t, “Koni’s housemate, the guy at Bijou. It’s Cumberbatch, that’s who I’ve been seeing every weekend in London. Not _seeing_  seeing.” She clarified quickly. “But seeing.” She pointed to her eyes.

“Benedict Cumberbatch is at Bijou?” Katy clarified, she had stopped dancing. Ri nodded. “Waiting for us?” she nodded again. “Fuck Maria! Why didn’t you say earlier?!” she yanked her phone out of her bra and jabbed in a number, shoving it to her ear and speaking super-fast when the other end picked up. “Can we get a taxi asap to Bijou? There’s four of us, it’s very very important.”

Ri smiled widely. So they were going to see Bennie after all.

 


	36. Chapter 36

“Please be cool.” She begged as they stepped out of the taxi.

“I’m always cool!” Katy exclaimed, but her face was flushed and she kept grinning madly, fiddling with the camera on her phone.

“Seriously. I don’t want him to think I’m a total nutcase.”

Her pleas were ignored. “I can’t believe you’ve kept this to yourself! I’m so annoyed!”

Ri rolled her eyes, walking to towards the small entrance, there was a black desk and a well-dressed bouncer stood in front of it with a clipboard. She felt a sudden flood of panic, what if he’d forgotten to put them on the list? Or what if they weren’t allowed in? She knew this place was meant to be pretty exclusive, and they were four drunken nobodies claiming to know Benedict Cumberbatch.

“Uhh, Maria Solomon, it could be under Ri Solomon. Four.” She tried her best sober voice, tucking her hair behind her ears, letting a little grin slip out.

The bouncer scanned the four of them, frowning slightly. Then his eyes snapped to the list.

“Maria Solomon?” he clarified.

“Yup.”

He seemed to be reading something next to her name, potentially the ‘plus four’ then nodded, stepping aside to let them in.

Ri put her ID away, shocked, she’d never not been asked for proof of age before entering a club, especially somewhere like this. There was a woman at the desk, with dark eye make-up and ruby lips. She strapped blue fabric bands around their wrists. In black cursive read ‘Bijou Club NYE Celebration’

“What’s ‘Nye’ mean?” Katy asked loudly before they were out of earshot of the door.

“Shhh!” Ri grabbed her arm and tugged her into the club, to stop in her tracks. “Shit!” she breathed. It was full blown James Bond ice palace. Ice sculptures of swans, what looked like Sagittarius, a peacock with a long trailing plumage and the letters NYE were spaced around the place. Large roulette and blackjack tables stood with people gathered around laughing loudly and betting copious amounts of money. It seemed compulsory to have a glass of champagne in your hands and as they made their way to the bar Ri tripped over a small wooden sled that was wedged into a pile of fake snow.

“Jesus Christ they didn’t miss a trick did they?”

Bright blue icicles hung from the ceiling, illuminated from the inside by small LED lights, and Ri was too busy watching them twinkle to realise the barman was talking to her.

“Complimentary champagne miss.” He pushed a glass of the pale golden bubbly towards her.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, taking it. “Thank you.”

He grinned a bright white smile at her, his attire very formal- bowtie and waistcoat. “Come back just before midnight for another one to toast the New Year.”

“Great!” she grinned, spinning around too fast and tripping over the luge again. “Goddamn it.” She hissed, stepping over it carefully. She glanced up, directly opposite her was a wall tiled with mirrors. Perfect, she could quickly check herself out before she went in search of Bennie.

In the reflection behind her she could already see Katy craning her neck, scanning the room for potential celebrities. Her eyes widened every now and again and up her camera phone went, snapping away at unsuspecting victims. Ri rolled her eyes, her heart thumping at the thought of Bennie meeting the super fan. She focused on herself and grinned slightly, she had somehow managed to tame her unruly hair with copious amounts of styling cream and leave in conditioner and some handy curling tongs. Her red locks curled around her face, shortening her already short hair so that it brushed her chin in a pretty bob. She sighed, she’d been trying to grow her hair for almost a year now, and it just wasn’t having any of it. She tugged a curl that had crept too far up her head and tried to coax it back into place. Ri was reapplying another coat of her lipstick, the bottom of the tube told her it was ‘dusky rose’- nothing too drastic- when she spied Katy bouncing up and down with glee.

“Shit.” She hissed, shoving the silver tube back into her bag and just about catching Katy’s arm as she surged past her. “Whoa whoa! Where are you rushing off to?”

Katy’s champagne glass was already empty. “I’ve just seen him!” her eyes focused on Ri and glistened. “Introduce me! Come on!”

She’d never seen her like this before. She knew she was a fan of Sherlock, but Ri just assumed it was an interest in the clever mysteries, the catchy dialogue and the building tension between John and Sherlock. But then again meeting someone who you’ve only ever seen on screen or in magazines is different, it makes it more real, they aren’t just the characters they play, they’re a whole other person.

“Ok, ok. Calm it first.”

Katy took a deep breath, her face still flushed a bright pink, a sheen of sweat covering her skin.

“Shall we do a makeup check first?” Ri suggested, downing her own champagne in one go. The bubbles surged up her nose, causing her to splutter and cough. Katy smacked her on the back but Ri waved her off. “I’m fine,” she choked, holding her throat.

She put her glass down and they scouted out the ladies, trying not to look too drunk or awestruck at the cream interior, coupled with plush sofas and a washroom attendant passing out hand towels and spritzing rose scented perfume. They squeezed together in front of the mirror and Ri huffed angrily, her choking had made her mascara run, pooling under her eyes like a panda.

“Look at my face!” Katy exclaimed. “I’m so sweaty.”

Ri smiled, drawing on her eyeliner and pulling her mascara wand through her long lashes. She didn’t act girly very often, opting to go for the ‘don’t give a shit’ look most days, make-up just took too long to put on and she’d rather the extra hour in bed. But nights out were different, it was part of the pre-drinks ritual, putting on a pretty outfit, heels and an artistic layer of makeup. She liked the way it evened out her skin tone and highlighted her big bright eyes, making them stand out even more against her pale skin, long dark lashes framing them like a cornflower painting.

“You ready?” she turned to Katy who nodded slowly.

“Yeah.”

She nodded, took her hand and led her out of the bathroom. “Did you see where Soph and Lisa went?” She glanced back at Katy who shook her head, her eyes darting around expectantly. “We’ll find them later. Where did you see Bennie?”

“On the dance floor.”

They weaved their way around, finding themselves quickly lost in the TARDIS like club. “Where was the dance floor again?”

“Not sure.”

Ri growled. By the time they found it he would probably have moved on. Hell at this rate it would have struck midnight.

“There!” Katy yelled in her ear, pointing. Ri followed the line of her finger and saw his retreating back. The suit he was wearing was well fitted, following each line of his body perfectly which was still slim from Sherlock and she found her eyes drinking in his slender form hungrily.

They sped up, catching him quickly.

Ri put a hand on his arm, “Hey.”

He span at her voice, his face split into a grin. “Ri! You made it!” he embraced her tightly, kissing her cheek, his lips lingering just too long on her skin. She pecked him back, sinking into the hug, feeling his warm body pressing against her own. He held her at arm’s length, glancing her over. “You look incredible.” Bennie’s eyes roamed from her head, down her body and back up again. She had put on a royal blue dress that was so low cut he was surprised they’d let her in. His eyes locked on her cleavage, vividly recollecting running his tongue up it. His hands moved down to her hips, his thumbs rubbing her softly through the material. Goosebumps rose on her arms as she giggled, reaching out to wipe off the lipstick mark on his cheek.

“This is my friend, Katy.” She broke his intense stare, turning to gesture to her friend, who was trying her very best to stay composed.

Bennie span to face the young girl, keeping one hand on Ri. “It’s nice to meet you.” He held out a hand for Katy to shake, while his other one crept lower and lower until it cupped Ri’s bum.

“You too!” Katy gripped his hand and shook it firmly. “You’re very talented.”

She was extremely impressed at Katy’s cool manner, she hadn’t squealed or jumped up and down, in fact it was as if she was talking to anyone she’d just met. Ri winked at her.

“Thank you.” He blushed. “I was actually just heading to the bar to get some drinks, could you help me?” he turned to Ri, a sparkle in his eye.

“Sure.” She sighed.

“Katy we’re just in the VIP booth up there,” he pointed to a secluded spot up a set of stairs. “Look for a guy in a red bowtie.” He grinned.

Katy looked momentarily panicked.

“Why don’t you seek out Sophia and Lisa and we’ll meet you there in five minutes?” Ri helped her out.

“Ten,” Bennie pitched in, “The err… bar’s pretty busy.”

“Sure. See you in a bit.” Katy wandered off in an unknown direction.

“Pretty sure that’s the last we’ll see of Katy tonight.” She had a habit of disappearing and making her way back home with no knowledge of doing so.

Bennie stroked her arm, leaning close to her ear. “I’m glad you came. I thought you had changed your mind.”

“Yeah well if you want me to stay you’re gonna have to take your hand off my ass.”

He let go quickly. “Sorry. I didn’t even realise it was there.”

“Sure.” She grinned at him.

He led her over to a round table with two high chairs. “So tell me about your Christmas. Apart from the wine.” He smirked.

“Yeah, sorry about that phone call.” She turned crimson, avoiding his gaze. “I don’t know what came over me.”

He chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. So how was it?”

“Mad. It only got worse after I spoke to you that morning. People showing up left right and centre, trying to get wasted without my grandmother catching on, dogs barking in the back room.” She rolled her eyes. “Crazy. “

“And your dogs?”

“They’re great! One of them’s turning into a total weirdo he just sits around grunting and growling all the time.”

“So just like you?”

She burst out laughing, pushing him roughly. “Shut up! I don’t grunt! Growl, maybe. What about you? Was yours as manic?”

“No, was pretty quiet. Just the three of us until Tracy and her kids showed up and they only stayed for a little bit. Mum wouldn’t stop talking about getting some grandbabies out of me, she’s on the verge of pimping me out.”

She laughed loudly. “Jesus.” She met his pale eyes, her face growing serious. “So, you do want kids?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’d like a few.”

“And how’s that going? Found an egg donor yet?”

He smiled.

“I’m serious!” she protested. “I can just see your mum in a lab coat with a petri dish. ‘Timothy! Hand me Benedict’s sperm!’”

“Oh god! What is wrong with you?” he didn’t know whether to laugh or run away but she just giggled at him. He shook his head, trying to remove the image of his mother handling a test tube of his sperm.

Ri leant over the table to touch his hair gently. “You cut it.”

“Yeah, now Sherlock’s over I can wear it how I like.” She nodded but said nothing. He frowned. “You don’t like it.”

She shrugged. “It’s not that, I just preferred it longer, more to gr-” she stopped herself, blushing furiously.

“More to what?” she looked away from the table, looking as if she was studying the club. He was grinning now enjoying her embarrassment, trying to block her view with his head. “More to what?” he repeated, softly.

“I was going to say, jokingly, that there’s more to grab on to. But in light of…recent events, it wouldn’t have been a very funny joke.”

He sat back down. “I wondered how long it would take till we got onto it.”

She met his eye again. “Well we can’t very well ignore it forever can we?”

He shook his head. “No, definitely not. But I thought you’d want to avoid the subject as long as possible.”

“Yeah, I did.” She nodded. “But now we’re here.” She wished she had saved her champagne, she could have done with a good long swig of something cold and strong. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why? I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have fucked you either, that was fucking stupid. I shouldn’t have let myself get so…involved in you.”

“Involved?”

“Attracted, turned on, whatever you want to call it.”

“I shouldn’t-”

“No Bennie!” she was angry now, “This was _me_ , I’m the one in a relationship, I’m the one who’s supposed to be faithful. Jesus Christ.” She stood up suddenly, clutching her bag and stalking away.

What was she even doing here?

What did she expect to happen between them?

She was meant to be spending tonight at home with friends, it was never meant to be about Bennie. None of it was.

She got lost storming through the stupid club, its separate rooms and unending corridors confused her already cloudy brain. The endless ice sculptures and _fucking sleds_ that she kept tripping over didn’t help either.

“Ri.” She could hear Bennie gaining on her, and she didn’t want him to catch her before she left. She should have stayed home, she should have kept her mouth shut and danced the New Year in in her living room, twirling to her favourite songs.

Really she should have never stormed into Bennie’s room and let him have her.

A large hand curled around her arm, stopping her in her tracks. “No!” she peeled the fingers off, spinning to tell him off, to tell him to leave her the fuck alone, tonight and from now on. But all that left her was “I can’t find the exit.”

He grinned, turning her round by her shoulders and leading her around a corner up a set of stairs and out onto a terrace.

“They call this the cigar terrace, you want one?” he joked lightly, but she glared at him.

“This isn’t the door.”

“Well no, but if you leave now they probably won’t let you back in and you’ll never get a taxi this late. I can’t have you wandering the streets on your own.”

Before she could stop it, before she even knew what was happening tears had started leaking out of her eyes. “Shit!” she cried, pushing the heels of her palm into her eyes, trying to stem the flow.

“Hey.” Bennie’s arms found her, pulling her into his chest.

“Don’t,” her voice was barely audible against his body, “I’ll ruin your suit.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

His hand stroked her hair softly as she let the tears stain his probably ridiculously expensive three-piece.

“It’ll be ok.” He promised.

“I don’t want to feel like this.” She sniffed, trying to wriggle away. “I shouldn’t feel like this.”

“Like what?” his hand was still in her hair, his fingers running through her curls.

“Like this!” she gestured to herself. “This way I feel about you it’s not right, not when I’m with someone.”

He couldn’t keep his voice completely steady when he asked. “And exactly what is it you feel about me?”

She pushed herself back slightly, so that she was still contained in his arms, but she could look up at him. “I’m _desperate_ for you Bennie.” She leant her forehead back on his suit. “I want you all the time and part of me is terrified I’m going to give in again and the other part is screaming at me to do just that and I’m _fucked_ I’m so fucked, Bennie.” Her hands found his wrists and she pushed him off her. “All the time I’m thinking of you I forget about Koni and when I remember I feel like the worst person, and sometimes I just don’t even care.” She searched his face desperately. “You can’t even begin to understand.”

“Can’t I?” he asked darkly, stepping back from her. “You think I don’t want you just as much? _God_ Ri lately you’re are the only thing I think about. You know I fucked up a whole week’s worth of filming because I was so concentrated on you? I wish things were different, that you were single and I was younger but that doesn’t stop me from wanting you, not for a second.”

She could see the passion in his eyes, it was like watching him act, he was talking about something that mattered a hell of a lot to him.

“What now?”

He shook his head. “There isn’t a ‘what now?’. You’re not going to leave Koni and I’m not going to go Benjamin Button on you.”

She looked out passed his shoulder. The whole of Manchester was lit up in preparation for giving 2013 a proper send off. Some overzealous partiers had set off some premature fireworks, their banging and crackling echoing off all the tall buildings, the lights reflected in the glass windows of flats and office blocks.

“I don’t care that you’re older than me.” Her voice was quiet, as she walked to the wall, leaning her elbows on it.

“No?”

“No.” she scoffed. “In the grand scheme of things it’s probably the least of our problems.”

He stood by her side, taking her hand. “Did you mean what you said? About us just needing to get it out of our system?”

She wouldn’t face him. “Did it get it out of your system?”

“No. I think it made it worse.”

“Same. I say a lot of things I don’t mean.”

Her phone buzzed in her bag loudly. She pulled it out scanning the name. “Hey!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you I’ve been texting and ringing all day and I’ve heard nothing!”

“Sorry, my phone was being stupid. What did you end up doing?”

“I’m out with some guys I worked with on Sherlock.”

“Oh good, at least you ended up getting out the house.”

“I wanted to ring before the lines got jammed up, wish you a happy new year.”

“Yeah, right back at you. Look it’s getting pretty mad here I better go.”

“Alright, love y-”

But she hung up quickly.

“Koni?”

“Yeah.”

A giggling couple made their way on to the terrace, settling down at one of the wooden tables and murmuring quietly to one another.

Bennie checked his watch. “This place will be filling up soon. Fireworks display.”

She nodded, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Do you want to go?”

“Yeah.”

He took her hand again, pulling her past a set of palm trees with fairy lights twisted around their trunks, down the stairs and miraculously found the door. His sense of direction was so much better than hers, but in the streets of Manchester, she could take the lead. It was strange to see them so deserted, everyone in clubs or at parties this close to midnight.

They ended up in Piccadilly gardens with twenty minutes to spare till midnight. There were plenty of benches scattered around so they dropped into one.

“What a mess I’ve made of your evening.” Ri said with a shaky laugh.

“Don’t be stupid. You know I like spending time with you.”

She nodded, tilting her head so it rested on his shoulder. “Any great resolutions?”

“Hmmm. Stop sleeping with other people’s girlfriends?”

She flicked his leg. “Hilarious.”

He chuckled. “I don’t do resolutions, not really. Meet the mother of my children? Get married? Have lots of kinky sex?”

“Busy year.”

“Hopefully.”

She grinned, holding his hand in both of hers. It was cold outside and she’d not brought a jacket, Bennie had given her his blazer and she had taken it gratefully, but soon felt strange in something that smelled so strongly of him.

“How about you?”

She shook her head. “Sort my life out. That’s always a useful one.”

“Indeed,” he wrapped an arm around her, rubbing it vigorously to warm her up. “You should wear my clothes more often. Or maybe not if I’m going to stick to my resolution.”

She tutted. “You are such a tease, Benedict.”

“Ugh, it’s weird when you call me that. I feel like I’ve down something wrong.”

She snorted quietly, training her eyes on the sky. “How long?”

He consulted his watch. “Ten minutes.”

She nodded. Soon the countdown would begin, vocalised throughout England and everyone else in their time zone. Everyone chanting the last ten seconds of the year like some weird cult. “Why do we do that? Countdown to midnight?”

“Tradition I guess.”

“Yeah but who started that one? Can you imagine? ‘Hey guys lets countdown out loud!’ ‘No Gerald, we’re not children.’”

He laughed loudly. “Gerald?”

“Yeah, why not?”

They slid closer and closer to each other, slowly pulling the other one in until she was nestled on his lap thumbing his lips, and his hands were resting dangerously, one on her leg, the other on her hip. Neither said a word, soaking in each other’s warmth on the chilly night. His hand had started to move slowly, caressing her thigh with gentle strokes as her fingers searched his neck. He was on the brink of asking her to spend the night with him when someone shouted.

“Ten! Nine!”

“Oh god, it begins.” She groaned.

“Six! Five!”

They hadn’t noticed the people on the balcony, only four or five of them squished onto the tiny thing, cheap party hats and party poppers at the ready. They were shouting out the countdown for them and as they reached a loud and exuberant “ONE!” they pulled the strings of the party poppers, yelled “Happy New Year!” far too many times, embraced and kissed one another and shouted into the night.

Bennie grinned towards them, then glanced down to see her staring at him.

She kissed him quickly, just once and feather light, pulling back to mumble. “Happy New Year Bennie.”

But once wasn’t enough for him, not anymore, so he pushed himself into her, their lips crashing. She held his face in her hands opening her mouth for him so their tongues could dance. He slid his hands beneath his blazer to grip her body tightly, pulling it closer and closer to him. He moaned as she bit his lip, moving her kisses to his neck, light and numerous, teasing. Her tongue flicked out running it greedily up to his jawbone before returning to his mouth.

She couldn’t remember how long they sat on the bench in the cold, exploring each other’s mouths with utter desperation. She knew when they finally broke apart and he murmured, “Happy New Year Ri.” that those were the sweetest first words of a year she’d heard yet.

 


	37. Chapter 37

"Come to Manchester." She said when he picked up the phone.

 "What?"

"You heard. Come to Manchester this weekend. Come and see me."

"I thought you were coming here?"

"Yeah, but you never come up to see me. I thought we could spend some time at mine, get something to eat in town. It'd be a nice change, I think we need a change of scenery."

He sighed "Is this about…my bitch fit? I told you I’m sorry."

 "I know, I know, but maybe we're getting a little stuck in a rut down there. We never really do much-"

 "We do plenty." his voice was smooth.

 "-outside of the house. It could be like a little holiday."

Koni still sounded unsure, "I dunno, I wouldn't get to yours until Saturday. We're in till late tonight and I’d have to head back Sunday evening. We wouldn't get a lot of time together."

 "We'd get plenty," she replied darkly. "Come on baby, I’m sick of travelling on those trains every weekend, it gets really fucking boring. Can you just come here for once?"

 "Fine, course I will."

 "Great," she sighed happily.

Perfect, now she could avoid Bennie for another week.

As she tucked her phone into her pocket she sighed. She’d have to warn the others that he was invading their house for the weekend.

“Yo,” she stuck her head in the lounge where Katy glared up from her laptop. She hadn’t fully forgiving Ri for dragging them out under the promise of meeting Bennie only to disappear with him moments later.

 “Where did you guys go anyways?” she’d demanded when Ri had garbled an apology the next day.

“We went to check the terrace out and I felt like I was gonna hurl so he took me home.”

She grinned sheepishly, sliding into the lounge and sitting down. “What you up to?”

“Work.”

“Mmm. So Koni’s gonna come round this weekend, just thought I’d…warn you.”

“Ok.”

“Cool. If you see the others will you give them a heads up too?”

“Sure.”

She promptly stood, removing herself from Katy’s sulking. She did feel bad, she had expected to hang around a little longer with Katy and the others and let Bennie socialise a bit with them, but it couldn’t be helped. Really she should have known that the night would have ended up just her and Bennie.

 

 ***

 

The house felt so empty without Koni, and even more so when another weekend rolled up and Ri was nowhere to be seen. Bennie found himself missing the crashing of the door into the wall that announced her arrival and her loud sighs which expressed more emotion than she could with speech. He hated himself for missing her.

Keep busy.

He could have really done with working, but he was currently in hiatus acting wise.

So he pulled out some lines for a new project and set to learning them. He struggled sometimes, remembering them on set. He’d work hard this weekend to ensure that didn’t happen. He’d become complacent lately, weekends had been dedicated to spending time with Ri, stealing moments of shared humour and playful teasing with her. But this time was different, he could commit himself to work again with all this spare time, and all this silence.

Work. That’s what he was doing.

He tugged the script closer to him, his eyes scanning the pages several times. Reading and re-reading several lines before realising he had already done so. The words swam in front of his eyes, joining together to make one long stream of unintelligible dialogue.

He began to wonder what her room looked like. How much of her personality he’d find in it. Did she have things on her wall, pictures, notes? Half-read books in her bed? Clothes neatly stacked in drawers? Strewn around the floor? He grinned, that was more likely. In his mind he constructed it. Small, big enough to fit a double bed, a desk, wardrobe and chest of drawers, but not much else. She’d have notepads everywhere, cluttering worktops and piled up on the floor, random pieces of paper sticking out of the pages, hurried notes she made as a wave of inspiration hit her. He wondered if she’d hung up the painting he’d given her.

            He wanted to see it for real, see if he was right. At that moment he was insanely jealous of Koni, who would be there, taking for granted all the small things that encapsulated Ri’s personality, his familiar eyes overlooking them.

            No.

            His lines sat before him, begging to be read and memorised. He started to read aloud, if only to puncture the heavy heavy stillness that hung like a bad smell around the place. He needed his head to be his own again, he needed Ri to be out of it and work to be in it.


	38. Chapter 38

Some of her housemates had never met him, and she was slightly worried about their reactions. His habit of walking around indoors with very little clothes on and his boorish attitude weren’t likely to make him many friends.

The ones she had lived with last year, Amber, Katy and Danny, knew him fairly well but Emma and Sophia had yet to experience him.

Upon his arrival he sighed loudly, stomping into the lounge and collapsing on the sofa.

“You do that _every_ week for me?” he asked incredulously “Good job I make it worth your while.”

“Hmm. I wouldn’t be too sure.” She followed him in, going on through to her kitchen. “Drink?”

“Not for me babe.”

She clicked the kettle on for her. “How was your New Year’s then? We got cut off before you could tell me.”

 He grunted. “Yeah, was alright. Pretty quiet, would have been better if I’d spent it fucking the life out of-”

 “Alright!” she stopped him. “Soph and Emma aren’t prepared for that kind of talk just yet Kones.”

 “Hmm.” He eyed the girls who had glanced at him in surprise. “I’ve met you before yeah?” he nodded at Emma.

 “Yeah I think so. You were living with Ri and Katy last year weren’t you?”

 He nodded. “Yup. Then she got sick of me.”

 Ri re-entered the room, perching on the edge of the sofa arm. “Well you are pretty unbearable. I don’t know how Bennie does it.”

 “He’s always working that’s how he does it. I’ve not seen him in ages and when I do he’s all…weird.”

“Weird?” she asked too high pitched, and cleared her throat.

“Yeah, jittering about like a weirdo.”

“Jittering?!” she asked with a laugh. “Where did you pick that up?”

He shrugged. “Well whatever. Maybe you should talk to him, he’s freaking me out a bit.” Koni pondered it for a while. Ri disappeared to pour the kettle, dripping milk into her mug and taking a sip. “Do you think he’s gay?”

She spluttered into her tea. “What?!”

“Do you think? He’s been looking at me strangely for a couple of weeks now. Maybe he wants me.”

Ri shook her head, mopping her t-shirt with a tea-towel. “You think everyone wants you.”

“Well the majority do.”

She rolled her eyes. Sliding in next to him, balancing her tea precariously and turning to Sophia. “How’s your project going? You ready for the deadline?”

She scoffed. “No! Nowhere near. If you fancy doing it for me that would be great.”

Ri grinned, “No thanks.” All her housemates bar Amber were on a Graphic Design course, though each of them had taken a very different approach. Sophia was celebrity obsessed and knew thousands of useless little factoids about their lives, relationships and work. It was amusing to watch her spout out various pieces of information on someone that popped up on their screen. She did, however, seem only interested in young attractive American stars, and had developed her latest project around them, concentrating on ‘secrets’ as her theme.

“What’s the plan?” Koni asked, pulling her mug from her hands and taking a long drink.

“Plan?” she reached out to snatch it back, missing the warm comfort it was giving her palms.

“For tonight?”

She scoffed. “There’s no plan. I wanna chill out, watch some shite on TV.”

“I’ve come all this way for no plan?”

“I come all that way every damn week for no plan! Be grateful I do.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, “I’d be a hell of a lot more grateful if my wallet wasn’t taking a beating every weekend.”

“Hey, if you wanna see me, you have to pay the price.”

“Literally.”

She punched his arm, vaguely wondering how she could get out of sleeping with him that night. She knew eventually she would have to get back to normal with him, but it was still so soon, and it felt too strange.

He tried, several times, to seduce her, eventually sighing and giving up when she elbowed him away. “Do you still hate me?”

She rolled over to face him, “Of course I don’t hate you I’m just…not ready yet. Things with us are weird alright? I don’t know if we should just jump back into what we were doing because it obviously wasn’t right somehow.”

“So what do you want?” he was trying, he really was, but he couldn’t just stop sleeping with her. It had taken so long to get her he didn’t want to waste any more time.

“I don’t know yet. Can you give me some time to figure it out?”

He nodded, pushing her over and wrapping his arm around her. “But you still want me right?”

She swallowed, finding his hand and squeezing it tightly. “Of course I do.”

 


	39. Chapter 39

It sounded like thunder crashing into the earth.

And God she had missed it.

It was like her own personal announcement. Who needed trumpets and a grand speaker when you could have the glorious crashing of a door into a wall to declare your arrival?

He agreed. It was more than music to hear it, followed shortly by her laugh as she swung it shut.

“I know I wasn’t gone for long but I’ve missed that goddam door.” Her voice rang clear in the hallway, the walls soaking it up, and their colours brightening with it. She pushed open the door to the lounge and upon spotting Bennie shot him a genuine grin. “Hi.”

He couldn’t not return her friendly greeting “Hello.”

“Miss me?” she teased and he let out a breath. She was right, they would slip back into their enjoyable companionship effortlessly.

“Of course.”

“Good. I think a cup of tea is in order. A proper homecoming.”

It was like she’d been away for a year, and there was much to catch up on. In fact she didn’t have much news, they didn’t talk about Koni’s visit to hers, which he was grateful for. Instead she spoke about Uni, which she had rarely done so.

“…assignments due which I’m so not prepared for.”

“What kind of things do you have to write about?”

“Well one’s a Postmodern close reading, so that’s fine, but the other one is about Seamus Heaney and identity, so that’s pretty difficult to waffle on about for fifteen hundred words.”

She picked his empty mug up, taking it over to the sink with her own and returning to the table.

“Seamus Heaney? That’s the Irish poet yeah?”

“Yep,” she leant down and kissed him on the mouth, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. When the kiss broke she sat back down, and only when did she meet his eyes again did comprehension dawn on her face. “Shit!” She cried out. “Oh my god I didn’t even realise what I was doing! I just- I thought- my brain went on automatic.”

He had wiped the smile off his face, but couldn’t stop the warm feeling that was creeping through him. “That’s quite alright.”

“No it’s not though is it Bennie? I’m sorry, you must think I’m such a two-faced-” she stopped, running her fingers through her fringe. “God it’s like I thought-.” She stopped herself again.

“Maybe it’s best if we get this out in the open?” he suggested, she nodded. “Okay. Are you attracted to me?”

Her heart leapt at such a direct question. She wouldn’t meet his eye. “That’s a stupid question.”

“And you know that I’m attracted to you.”

“Okay.”

“But obviously you’re in a relationship. I’ve just got out of one. Maybe we just need to stop being attracted to each other.” He said it as if it were that simple.

She snorted. “That’s not what I thought you’d say.”

“I’m not going to ask you to cheat on Koni with me.”

“Bit late for that.” She muttered.

“Yeah. I guess it is, isn’t it. But we’re both adults, we can move on from this can’t we?”

He sounded so rational she was impressed. And slightly disappointed.

This wasn’t the man who’d desperately explored her body a few weeks ago, the man with dark desire in his eyes as he’d tugged at her clothes and set his lips to her skin. But maybe that was just it. Bennie had been driven by lust, it had probably been a while since he’d gotten laid, probably not since the breakup. It made sense that he’d jumped at the chance to satisfy his needs with her, they had great chemistry, their friendship was flirty at best and could be easily confused with sexual attraction.

“Of course we can.” She grinned. “And I promise I won’t accidently make out with you.”

Stop being attracted to her? Sometimes he said the most ridiculous things. But he refused to lose her friendship, and as there was no room for anything more between them he was more than happy to settle for that. He had to be realistic, there was no future for them. He wasn’t going to be the ‘other man’, or involve himself in an existing relationship.  He’d just have to squash those feelings down deep, maybe find someone else to aim them at. He could get back in touch with Abigail, if she wasn’t sick of his hot and cold attitude by now. He was allowed to want her, just not allowed to act upon those impulses, that’s where he had gone wrong before.

“I watched the first two episodes of Sherlock.” Her voice tugged him out of his musings.

“Yeah?” he was suddenly very nervous, desperate for her approval. “What do you think?”

“Honestly?” he nodded and she gave and uncertain laugh, “I’m in awe of you.”

“You are?”

 She nodded vigorously. “I don’t think you’re actually a real person. I think you’re an acting robot perfectly programmed and sent here to put us all in amazement. Well mission complete.”

He grinned in that modest, embarrassed way that she’d seen him do in interviews, nodding slightly, casting his eyes down, a slight blush. “Thank you.” He answered sincerely, wanting nothing more than to show his gratitude to her in a much more physical way than a smile and a ‘thank you’.

“Are you staying here and watching it with us tomorrow? The big finale.”

He opened his mouth, paused and then spoke. “I usually watch it at Mum and Dad’s, you know so everyone can tell me how brilliant I am.”

Ri grinned. “But you’re totally gonna blow them off so you can see my face at the big plot twist at the end right?”

“Who says it’s at the end?” he looked slyly at her.

She laughed. “No spoilers! I won’t be your friend anymore if you ruin it.” She took a sip of her tea and made a face when she realised it was cold. “Please stay and watch it. I need you to be on my side. Koni will fight me for the remote otherwise and I can’t take him on my own.”

He looked like he was thinking about it and she wondered if she’d win out over his parents. “They’re not going to like it.”

She gave a little triumphant wiggle in her seat. “Woohoo!”


	40. Chapter 40

He was fidgety, shuffling in his seat and casting his eyes around anywhere but the screen. Usually settling on Ri to clock her reactions to the plot and, more importantly, his acting. He hated watching himself. Premieres were the worst, the giant screens, his face and body projected at such a ridiculous scale. He could see every imperfection, that mole on his neck that he hated, that bottom tooth that just didn’t sit quite right, that annoying line between his eyes that creased whenever he frowned, every tiny crack in his performance, every acting choice he would have made differently given another chance.

But he could watch her watching him with no difficulties, as she grinned at his unshaven druggie state, frowned deeply at Janine’s appearance and the kiss, and a disapproving shake of the head at the fake engagement.

He was particularly interested to see her reaction to Mary’s secret.

“Fuck!” she hissed in disbelief, turning sharply to Bennie for an explanation. “You kept that quiet!”

He chuckled. “You said no spoilers.”

“Is this the episode John dies in?” Koni asked, causing Ri to swivel on the sofa and gasp sharply.

 “What?!” she cried, her eyes widening in horror. “No!”

 “I’m kidding! Your face!”

 “Oh my god! You’re a horrible person.” She punched him roughly on his shoulder, hoping it would leave a bruise and turned back to the TV. The camera panned down to just below Bennie’s chest, a red stain spreading on his white shirt.

“They like trying to kill you off don’t they?”

She wondered why he didn’t wear suits around the house more often, and was immediately grateful that he didn’t. She would have to physically restrain herself from tearing at them with her teeth if he did and she was glad for the t-shirt and jeans he was wearing today. Although they too had a casual kind of sexiness to them and she would take great pleasure pulling the zip of those jeans down at such a slow pace it would be torturous for him. Hell she could even use her teeth.

She screwed up her face to remove the tempting image, pushing her shoulder into Koni’s armpit and squeezing herself closer to him.

Sherlock had retreated into his mind, sifting through facts that could save his life from the bullet wound. Ri knew he couldn’t die, he’d only just come back from the dead, but she was still immediately fearful that he wouldn’t be ok.

She tore her eyes off the screen to glance at Bennie. He was watching her, his eyes fixed on her face and she grinned. “You don’t die do you?”

“Shut up and find out.” Koni growled, his chest vibrating under her cheek.

“You didn’t even want to watch this before.”

“Yeah, well.”

She looked back at Bennie who shook his head slightly. No, he didn’t die.

“Good.” She mouthed, turning back.

Sherlock fell to the floor, shaking madly as the pain set in. He slid down the walls of a padded cell, his face screwed up, a tear rolled down his nose and hit the floor, pure agony attacking his features. He was dying, his face growing pale and grey as ambulance sirens pierced the scene.

Ri turned to Bennie, joining him on the other sofa, got on her knees and knelt before him. “It’s not real.” She grabbed his face in her hand. “Koni it’s not a real person, it’s a robot.”

“Let go of the poor guy!”

“I’m telling you, peel back this layer and you’ll see cogs and wiring and all sorts.” She shook her head in disbelief, her eyes stuck on his. “You’re incredible. I can’t even…” she shook her head again, laughing. “Fucking incredible.” She slid her fingers off his face, turning and sinking back into the sofa. “Can I keep you? Just to have you act out various scenes that pop into my head whenever the feeling takes me.”

“Pretty sure that’s called a sex slave.” Koni interjected. “Now can we please watch this?”

She nodded, settling in next to Bennie, barely blinking as the events unfolded, one by one.

“It’s very clever isn’t it?”

Bennie gave her a short nod, waiting till her head turned back until he trained his eyes on her again. It was almost perfect, the two of them sat watching his work side by side on the sofa. If only Koni wasn’t hanging around he could have brushed her hair with his fingers, pulled her into him and tucked her under his arm, had her rest her hand on his stomach, their legs slowly twisting.

The credits rolled and he made sure they watched them until the end.

“Tea?” he asked quickly, any excuse to leave the room. He didn’t know why he was all of a sudden nervous of their opinions, he had friends watch his work all the time, thrived on it.

“Uh yeah, just a minute.” Ri grabbed his arm as he went to stride past her. “Don’t you wanna know what we think?”

He rubbed his neck with his free hand. “Do you have to?”

She glanced at Koni, raising her brows, “You wanna go first?”

He shrugged. “It was good.”

“Good?! Did you see it? Jesus Bennie I knew you could act but…shit. Have you ever been shot in real life? Cause that was insane.”

“Nearly.”

She let go of him in surprise. “What?”

“I was carjacked once. they put a gun to our heads.”

Ri’s mouth was moving as if she was trying to say something but the words weren’t coming. “What?” she repeated.

He nodded. “Yeah. Thought I was going to die.”

Her hand found his arm again, her fingers gripping him tightly. “Shit.” She couldn’t imagine the fear he would have felt, the thoughts that would have run through his head, the checklist of things he hadn’t yet done, that he would never get a chance to. She squeezed tightly and let him go. “Tea would be great thanks.”

He nodded, leaving her slightly dumbfounded and looking at Koni.

“Did you know?” she hissed once Bennie was out of earshot.

Koni shook his head. “We don’t have many heart-to-hearts.”

She stood, her boyfriend back on the sofa, sitting on his lap and winding her arm around him, all of a sudden she had gone cold. “That’s awful. Imagine how scared…” she nuzzled him, kissing his neck lightly.

Koni nodded, letting her snuggle into him. He could see her mind was no longer on Bennie’s near death experience, but on the last moments of her dead friend.

What desperate fear had Oona felt in the seconds before she had died?

Were the last thoughts she ever had ones of despair? Of never knowing what the future held?

“What do you want to do for it?”

“Hmm?”

“The anniversary. It’s soon right?”

She nodded. “Fifteen days.”

“Then we’ll do something. Really special for her.”

She was quiet for a bit, the only sound the murmur of the TV and Bennie shutting the fridge in the kitchen. “I should go see Harry.”

Koni didn’t reply. He knew what Harry was like, and so did she. He would want to ignore the day as much as physically possible and Ri milling around the place would be a permanent reminder. “He won’t like it.”

“No I don’t imagine he would.” Koni was probably right; Harry needed to forget, for his own sanity. She shouldn’t force him. “But we should have Nelly up soon. She’s not seen you in ages.”

“Mmm, the bear-man.”

Ri giggled.

“Here,” Bennie’s voice behind her made her jump. She swivelled, still on Koni’s lap and took the steaming mug from him.

“Thank you.” She blew the top. “I’m sorry to hear about your…ordeal.”

He shook his head. “It was a long while ago. I’ve gotten over it.”

She grinned, pushing herself off of Koni. “Still. It must be something you’ll never forget.”

He nodded thoughtfully.

“We should do a bonfire.” She was far away in her head, taking small sips of the milky tea. She noticed Bennie always went heavy on the milk with his tea. Strong and milky and warm in her hands. “She loved bonfires. Always looked like a fucking goddess in the firelight, I always hated her for it.” Ri shook her head. “What do you reckon?”

Koni nodded. “Perfect.” He kissed her cheek. “We could find a beach to light it up.”

“What, are you planning on setting London on fire?” Bennie chuckled.

“Something like that. Know any beaches we could start with?” Ri glanced his way. He didn’t need to know their true agenda.

“Hmm,” he leant his head back on the sofa, pursing his lips. He looked exceptionally pretty when he did so, and Ri couldn’t keep her eyes off his exposed neck. “Thorney Bay is nice. Sandy. It’s in Canvey Island.”

“Yeah? That could be nice. How about it, Thorney Bay weekend after next?”

“Yup.” Koni agreed. “I’ll bring the marshmallows.”

She squeezed his hand. “Yummy. Sandy mallows.”


	41. Chapter 41

Katy closed her laptop, still adorned with Bennie’s face on the front but now it was joined by a host of other celebrities, humorous slogans and several cats. She strode into the kitchen, banging pots and pans around loudly.

“Plot twist.” Ri whispered, leaning close to Amber.

She hadn’t told her yet, wasn’t planning on it at all, but the squirming worms that had become her insides were taking over. She needed to let it out with words or else it was going to come up another way. Probably in vomit form.

“What do you mean?”

“With me and Bennie.”

Amber’s disapproving face had her faltering. Did she really want to hear the lecture that had been swimming round her head ever since? “What?”

“We slept together.” She mouthed, but saying it didn’t ease her sense of guilt. In fact it made it more real. Now it wasn’t a secret between her and Bennie behind a closed door. It was fact, it was true, it was something that had actually happened and it was something that could destroy her relationship with Koni.

Amber’s reaction didn’t make her feel much better either. Her face screwed up. “Ri.” She said warningly.

“I know! I know alright. I just couldn’t help it!”

“Please be careful.”

“It’s over, ok, it was just a onetime thing. We talked about it last weekend, he was very grown up about it.”

“You said that when you guys made out. You said that was the end of it.”

“This is different. We’re not ignoring it, we’ve faced it, and now it’s out of our system.”

Amber scoffed but didn’t say any more about it. She’d been Ri’s best friend for nearly three years, she knew when she was kidding herself. But if she was determined to live in a world of denial who was Amber to pull her out of it?

“Well?”

“Well what?”

Amber grinned. “How was he?”

Ri laughed quietly. “Shut up.”

“I’m serious! Do you know how jealous I am right now? I can’t get one guy into bed and you’re sleeping with two! I’m having to live vicariously through your insane sex life right now. Spill.”

“He was…” she realigned her face so that it wasn’t smiling uncontrollably, “good. Really good.” She took a breath meeting Amber’s eye. “Fuck he was amazing, Amber, actually unbelievable. He’s the kind of guy who’s super sweet and very polite and then in the bedroom he’s an animal. I thought he was going to break my wrists he was holding them so tight, and I don’t even want to think about the bite-marks he left.”

“Jesus! I wasn’t prepared for this.” Amber giggled.

“Prepared for what?” Katy poked her head out of the kitchen.

Ri and Amber exchanged guilty looks.

“Just…er… Ri’s night with Koni. She’s giving me all the dirty details.”

“Oh yeah?” Katy grinned wickedly, “Like what?”

“He was just…um…on top form. It was the night before I went home for Christmas so we knew it’d be the last time in a while.” Or ever. “He’s a biter.” She added fondly.

Katy shook her head slightly, returning to the kitchen. Ri dropped her voice again.

“I think it’s ‘cause he’s older. He really knows what he’s doing.”

“He’s older?”

“Uh yeah, just a bit.”

“Ooh you can join the club.” Amber grinned. “He’s not as old as You-Know-Who is he?”

Ri grinned, Amber’s summer fling with a 50 year old wasn’t something she’d kept a secret, to the great horror of her parents. “No, not that bad. He’s thirty seven.” She kept her voice down, so Katy wouldn’t pop back in demanding more info.

“Nice! That’s a good age.”

Ri shook her head. “You’re not meant to be condoning this remember! You’re meant to be wholly ashamed of me, and tell me I’m a bad person.”

Amber shrugged, “I like seeing you this happy. Maybe he’s good for you.”

“Don’t!” She didn’t need that attitude. “We’re over.” Over before they began.

Definitely over.

She shot a sideways glance Amber’s way. “We did accidentally spend New Year’s together.”

“What?! Why am I only just hearing about this?”

“Voice down!”

“Sorry. I thought you said it was one time!”

Ri shook her head. “No. No, we didn’t sleep together. It was actually quite sweet. We were just on a bench in Piccadilly having a New Year’s kiss.”

Amber shook her head. “There’s no way this is never going to happen again. Listen to yourself!” she tutted. “He shouldn’t be encouraging you, he knows you’re with Koni.”

“Amber, seriously, I can’t. I’m not going to cheat on Kones. Again.”

“Just…” Amber met her eyes, blue to blue, “think about what you really want, yeah?”


	42. Chapter 42

She was already in a bad mood. The train had been delayed forty five minutes and she hadn’t managed to get a seat. Her legs had started cramping and the walk from the station to Koni’s hadn’t helped relieve them.

As she walked into the lounge she saw Koni, stood by the closed kitchen door, his head tilted towards it.

“Err… what are you doing?”

He span and shushed her violently, beckoning her to join him. She dropped her backpack on the sofa and crossed the room.

“What are you doing?” she repeated, this time in a whisper.

“Bennie’s mystery woman is in there with him.” Koni hissed back.

Ri’s heart fluttered nervously. _She_ was Bennie’s mystery woman. “What?” she forgot to keep her voice down and Koni shushed her again.

“His mystery woman!” he grabbed her hand and tugged her closer to the door, guiding her head to the wood so that she could hear the conversation taking place behind it.

“…even know about it.” Bennie’s baritone pierced the wood easily but she had to strain hard to hear the reply. A muffled giggle, soft and feminine.

“You are ridiculous!” came the woman’s reply and he laughed softly.

Ri stepped back, her stomach clenching and unclenching uncomfortably.

“Don’t you wanna hear?” Koni looked at her, a peculiar expression on his face.

She shook her head. “Leave him alone.” she gripped his wrist and tried to tug him away but he protested. She rolled her eyes, scooping up her backpack and trundling up the stairs to deposit it in Koni’s room. Her legs seemed to have stopped working properly and she tripped several times.

Who the hell was Bennie talking to?

And why was he laughing like that with her?

She shook her head violently, she had no right to get jealous, they had agreed nothing would happen with them again. She had wanted him to move on.

But maybe not so quickly.

Couldn’t he mourn over their lost non-existent relationship a little longer? Was she that easy to get over?

She suddenly had the intense urge to see her, Bennie’s new squeeze. See if she was prettier than her, if her eyes sparkled more, or if her waist was smaller, her legs longer, her hair softer.

What if she made him laugh? What if this new woman could kiss better? What if she was sweeter, kinder, had a better sense of humour?

Ri threw her bag in the general direction of Koni’s room, spinning and jumping down the stairs three or four at a time. She stumbled into the lounge violently, swinging in with the door and stopped short as she saw Bennie and his ‘friend’ had left the kitchen and were stood conversing with Koni.

“Oh, uh, hi!” she straightened up, smoothing out her wild hair and smiling.

“Ri!” Bennie exclaimed fondly, his face lighting at her presence. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“You are?”

“Yes, we’re on our way out, I thought we might miss you.” He turned slightly to face the woman, who was significantly older than her, and slid a hand around her small waist. “Ri, this is Abi. We’re…” he laughed softly again, slightly nervously, “seeing each other.” He turned back to her and met her eye as her heart plunged into her stomach.

“Hi!” somehow, through some miracle or, more likely, insistence of not losing face, she managed to sound and look cheery. “It’s great to meet you.”

Abi stepped forwards, looking like she would shake Ri’s hand but she couldn’t touch this woman, so sat down on the sofa.

“You too, finally!” She had a nice voice, like soft cotton. “Ben doesn’t shut up about you.”

Ri couldn’t supress the smile. “God, what’s he like?” She didn’t like that Abi called him ‘Ben’, she couldn’t connect the name with the man in front of her. To her he’d always be Bennie no matter what other people called him. “Where are you guys going?” she regretted asking immediately, silently begging to a higher power that he wasn’t going to say the Italian they had gone to all those weeks ago.

“A little Thai place in SoHo.” Bennie answered, smiling sweetly at her.

“Speaking of which we should get going.” Abi squeezed Bennie’s arm and they grinned at each other, heading for the door.

“See you guys later!” Bennie called and with a slam of the door, they were gone.

“She’s pretty.” Ri managed.

“Yeah, she’s hot.” Koni agreed, sitting back down. “He nearly caught me listening in you know. I had to jump away from the door and pretend I was studying the wallpaper.”

“Hotter than me?”

“What?” She clearly hadn’t been listening to him.

“Is she hotter than me?” She repeated.

“No.” Koni scoffed. “No one’s hotter than you.”

“You have to say that.” She settled in next to him wondering if Bennie thought Abi was more attractive. Her dark hair had been pulled into a bun, and the pale blue coat she had worn cinched in at the waist, accentuating a slim figure. Slimmer thank Ri. She glanced down, putting her hands on her stomach, it was squishy, she bet Abi’s stomach wasn’t squishy. She had been slightly shorter than Ri, who noted, with a wicked sense of accomplishment, that this meant Abi wouldn’t slot into Bennie’s body as perfectly as she had. And immediately felt sick at the thought of her and Bennie slotting anything anywhere.

“So the plan for tonight my lovely?” Koni asked pleasantly.

He had been on his best behaviour since the pre-Christmas fuck up. He had noticed she had been very subdued ever since that night and his guilt had him determined not to mess her around anymore. He had been very attentive when she was with him, keeping her close and safe in his arms at night. He had graciously accepted her refusal at sleeping with him, taking her pathetic excuses as entirely valid, unquestioningly. When she was in Manchester he called her most nights to check up on her, ask about her day, her workload, her housemates. He did all the things he thought he should to keep her happy. But he couldn’t help but notice there was still something very wrong with her.

His concern had escalated as the anniversary of Oona’s death was fast approaching, and he feared she would slip back into her traumatised state. She would have to once again face the fact that the young girl was dead, gone forever, and it had been that catastrophic event that had triggered her previous depression. He’d been able to watch her 24/7 at that time, but now she was two hundred miles away, and he wasn’t entirely convinced that she wouldn’t so something stupid to take the pain away.

She shrugged. “We could head out?” Get drunk, forget about Bennie’s stupid Abigail.

“Yeah?” Koni ran his hands through her hair. “Where to?”

“I dunno, a bar?”

“Oh you wanna go out, out?

“Sure, why not? We’ve not been drunk together in months.”

“Awesome!” He leapt up, tugging her hand and pulling her with him.

 

***

 

She pushed him onto the bed, and he landed loudly, laughing and trying to shush her, but with no real desire for her to keep quiet. His hands found her bare thighs as she straddled him, his fingers gripped her tightly.

“God, I’ve missed you.” He hissed, creeping them up into her underwear.

“I’ve not been anywhere,” she hung above him, her face smiling at his.

“You know what I mean. I’ve missed this. Intimacy with you.”

She giggled, swaying above him, “Intimacy! You’ve just missed sticking your dick in something.”

“Shh!” he laughed, knocking the wall very lightly. “Bennie will hear.”

She grinned wider, leaning over and smacking her own palms against the wall loudly. “Let him hear.” She hoped he was back, lying awake and listening. She stopped, her hands still on the wall as Koni’s hands crept under her top.

What if he wasn’t on his own? What if Abi was with him?

She grew cold.

“What?” Koni whispered.

“Nothing.” She leant back down, pressing her lips to his.

“You’re not trying to make him jealous are you?”

She glanced down. Sometimes she forgot that Koni actually paid attention to things. “Why would I want to do that?”

He shrugged, tugging her top over her head. “I dunno. It just feels like you guys have this power play thing going on sometimes. He brings Abi round for no reason, aside from trying to piss you off it seems, and you go around slamming his walls while you’re on top of me.”

She grinned. A power play. That could work. “He thinks he’s the most desirable person in the house. He’s wrong.” She kissed him again.

“Get on your knees.” He mumbled against her lips. She pulled back grinning. “Do it.” He ordered. She tugged the rest of her clothes off, obeying Koni’s instructions.


	43. Chapter 43

“You were pretty loud last night.”

She span to meet his eyes. “Oh god, sorry.” Embarrassment flooded her face, she’d forgotten she had smacked the wall to make sure he would hear her, screamed loudly, much more loudly than she should have, to make him feel the jealousy she had felt. “I was pretty wasted.”

He nodded dropping his gaze. “Yeah I thought so.” He stood, leaning across her to click the kettle on. His breath tickled her cheek. “You’ve never banged the walls before.” He leant back, rooting around the cupboards for a mug.

She closed her eyes. “How was the Thai restaurant? You get that nice sticky rice?”

“Yeah. Abi got the jasmine rice.”

Ri cleared her throat, turning to him. “You bring her here for my benefit?” She growled.

He met her eye and sighed. He could lie, tell her that Abi excited him the same way she did, that he felt the same nervous feeling he did for her. But he didn’t want to lie, not to Ri. “I need a distraction from you. Abi’s a great person to be around, she keeps my mind off of… other things.”

“Have you fucked her yet?”

“No.”

“Are you going to?”

He shrugged, looking away. “I imagine so at some point.”

“Don’t.” she couldn’t stop the word leaving her mouth. She couldn’t even imagine another woman in his bed.

“What?”

“Don’t sleep with her. It’s not fair. On anyone.”

“On you you mean?”

She shook her head. “Not just on me. On her, on you. I’m not going to lie it will piss me off but leading her on is one thing, fucking her when you don’t mean it is another. You’ll regret it, you’re too good a person to not.”

“I thought we agreed-”

“I know what we agreed!” She snapped. “I’m just asking you not to do this.”

He was quiet for a bit, stirring his coffee with his silver spoon. “So am I not allowed to have sex with anyone ever again? In case it pisses you off?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t get pissy. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret that’s all. Not pissing me off in the process is just a bonus.”

“And in the mean time you can fuck your boyfriend whenever you like? Scream and slam my walls, making sure I hear you coming over someone else?”

She looked at the floor, shame creeping over her. “I’m sorry.” She murmured.

He shook his head. “Why should you be? He’s your boyfriend, you can do what you like with him. Just don’t stand here and tell me I can’t have a relationship because it will upset you.”

She sighed deeply. “Yeah I know, I’m an asshole right?” She sat down opposite him. “I can’t help it. It’s ingrained.”

Bennie leant back in his chair. “I don’t want to be with Abi. I want to be with you. Ingrained assholeness and all. But I can’t. Don’t take away something that stops me thinking about how fucking unjust that is, ok? Because right now that’s all I’ve got.”

She nodded slowly. “Ok.” She whispered. “I won’t say another word about it.” She squeezed his hand quickly.

“Well lover,” Koni’s voice rang from the staircase as he descended, “my knees are still weak from last night’s lovin’.”

Ri closed her eyes, his timing had always been spectacularly awful. As he entered the kitchen he grinned widely, feigning embarrassment.

“Hey Bennie. Sorry about last night, hope we didn’t keep you up, my woman needed a good fu-”

“Did you want a coffee, babe?” She asked loudly, standing to pull a mug out.

“Mmhmm,” he folded himself around her, kissing her neck, “I need some post workout nutrition after our intense marathon.” he murmured.

She squeezed an arm that had crept itself around her stomach. “Keep it down then, Bennie will get embarrassed.” She whispered.

“Don’t worry about me,” Bennie stood, making his way out, “I’m heading out anyways.”

“Wait,” Koni called, “Were we the only ones rocking the house last night or did Abi stay over?”

Bennie glanced at Ri. How he longed to torture her, to announce that he was in fact heading to Abi’s now, perhaps to ‘rock the house’ as Koni had so eloquently put it. But he only uttered a, “No. See you guys later.”

She watched him go, a slump in his shoulders. She shouldn’t have been so cruel last night, tormenting him. Despite what he said they both knew there was something there.

“I love you,” Koni grinned, sipping his coffee.

“Love you too. Gimme a minute?”

She chased Bennie out the kitchen and through the lounge, meeting him on the doorstep, the handle in his hand. “Look. I am sorry. Really.”

He laughed lightly. “Yeah, I’m sure you are.”

She grabbed his wrist as he went to leave. “Bennie please. Don’t fall out with me. I can’t deal with coming here and only having _that_ to talk to.” She jerked her head towards the kitchen. He allowed a small grin to creep out. “I’m serious!” She laughed. “I need you here, you keep me sane.”

He pulled his coat on, slowly sticking his arms through the holes, making her wait. “How about we stop trying to get one up on the other and just…” he shrugged.

“Yeah. Deffo.”

He leant towards her, kissing her cheek. “I keep you sane do I?” He said into her ear, grinning.

“Deflate your giant head Bennie, it won’t fit through the door.” She shook her head.

 

***

 

She thought about it all the way home. It was strange for Bennie to try and hurt her with Abi. She wasn’t entirely convinced if he was trying to cause her pain, or just give her a taste of jealousy. Her trying to piss him off had obviously upset him more than she had realised.

She rubbed her tired eyes. Next Monday she and Koni would travel down to Canvey Island and light a probably illegal fire in honour of Oona.

She’d been considering inviting Bennie along, she wanted him there for his comfort. She’d have loved nothing more than to feel his large hand on her shoulder, his thumb rubbing softly, his warm breath on her skin. But it felt wrong, he hadn’t known Oona, he hadn’t seen the effect her loss had had on not only her, but on the rest of them. Honouring a dead women he’d never met would have felt weird and his discomfort would have seeped into the personal memorial.

By the time the train had screeched into her station she had decided to keep it her and Koni. Maybe the three of them could head down to the beach another day. Bennie still owed her a driving lesson seeing as Koni was a horrendous instructor.

It would probably have to wait until the weather grew warmer.

Bennie might even bring Abi.

Ri scowled at the thought. She’d probably wear a bikini, displaying a toned figure, tempting Bennie to see the rest of her.

She was probably lovely, and in another situation they might have got on really well, but Ri couldn’t help feeling disdainful towards the poor innocent girl.

She was halfway home when she realised she actually had a lecture to go to. “Fuck!” she stopped dead, turning around to head towards Uni, only to turn back around and go home. She wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyways.

She wasn’t lying when she’d told Bennie she was an asshole. She felt like an asshole. She was becoming more and more like Koni as they days went on.

She should be happy for him, she should want him to find someone who could give them their all, she should want him to be looking forward to a future with a woman he could marry and have kids with.

“What a dickhead.” She said to herself, receiving a few glances from the people at the bus stop she was passing.

She cared about that little fucker. Enough to jeopardise her relationship for anyways. She needed to channel those feelings into something positive, into being totally supportive of whatever woman he wanted to start a relationship with.

From now on she vowed to be perfectly ok with him seeing Abi. That didn’t mean she wanted to hear them fucking through Koni’s bedroom wall, or that she could even think about him starting a physical relationship with anyone. But she would be…accepting of it

“Thought you had a lecture?” Amber’s voice met her as she sailed into the lounge.

“Yeah, wasn’t really feeling it. Too much going on up here.” She tapped her head with her finger.

Amber sat up a little straighter. “Have you made a decision?”

She shook her head. “Didn’t need to, it was made for me. I met Bennie’s new girlfriend this weekend.”


	44. Chapter 44

Koni stepped downstairs, still buttoning up his shirt. It was dark purple, silky and fitted him beautifully. It was reminiscent of the one Bennie wore in Sherlock, but instead of hugging the slim actor’s figure it sat comfortably on Koni’s muscled tanned body.

“You look great.” She smiled, standing and nervously smoothing out her dress.

“Yeah well she had a thing about purple didn’t she? You look equally as stunning.” He kissed her forehead.

“Thanks. You know I’m not really a ‘dress’ kind of person.”

“Hmm hadn’t noticed.” He was trying to lighten the mood, but they both felt nervous. They didn’t quite know how the night would go, what the next day would bring, how passing this milestone would affect them both. A whole year without her, it seemed to have passed so quickly, so strangely, and from now on they would only be moving further and further away from her, into a future she would never be a part of.

“Shall we go?”

He nodded, dropping his voice. “You sure you don’t want Bennie to come? I know you two are…close.”

She shook her head. “No, this is for Oona.”

“Okay.” He settled his hand into the small of her back. “Grab a jacket. See you later Bennie!”

There was a mumbled reply from the kitchen as Koni guided her towards the door.

Bennie had noted her intense distraction that weekend, her eyes didn’t focus when she spoke to them and whenever there was silence she retreated into her head. He didn’t like not knowing what she was thinking, not having her intense vivid eyes meet his with clarity.

There was a jumble of thoughts running through his head, many of which he didn’t want to concentrate on. Abi had turned to him last night, on her sofa as they watched a film. He had been wary going over to hers, sure that she would be expecting something more to happen with them and as much as he hated to admit it Ri was right, he couldn’t sleep with her guiltlessly.

“How long have you liked her?”

“What?”

Abi had smiled, she had a great smile, not a sneer in sight. She was smart too, astute, that’s what made her so good at her job which she was intensely passionate about, another thing he really liked about her. “Ri. You’re not very good at hiding it. I’m surprised her boyfriend hasn’t said anything.”

“He has.” He didn’t realise how shit he was at keeping his feelings secret. He was an actor for fuck’s sake, he should be able to put on a mask like it was second nature, cover any emotion showing in his face. Not have it written all over him like a page of a book, even for the short amount of time that Abi and Ri had been in the same room as each other. He must have had desire etched over every facet of his skin.

But that’s how it felt these days, like he wasn’t made up of bones and skin anymore, he was purely frustration and longing. How could one person make him so happy and pissed off at the same time?

One red-haired person who had more expression in a cock of her brow than in the faces of most people he knew.

And now apparently everyone he met when she was in the room knew exactly how desperate he was for her.

Once wasn’t enough. He knew that now. And it wasn’t just sex he wanted from her, it was everything.

“Shit.” Abi said. “It wasn’t just you.” She continued. “She was furious when you brought me round, though she did hide it a little better than you.”

He grinned. “That was the plan.” He realised he’d said it out loud and swore gently. “Sorry.” He genuinely was. Ri was right, his morals didn’t let him fuck this perfectly charming woman around. Apparently they didn’t give a shit about Koni but seemed to stretch as far as not wanting to hurt Abi. “I didn’t realise how bad it was.” He admitted. “I thought it was just…infatuation.”

“So what is it?”

He opened his mouth, found himself at a loss for words, and shrugged.

 

***

 

“Uni okay with you skipping today?”

She snorted. “I didn’t tell them, just didn’t show up. Might send them an email later, then it can be an explained absence.” Her eyes fixed on the scenery as houses melted into streets. “You know you can’t graduate if you miss too many classes?”

“Fuck. You’re screwed then.”

“I know. I need to start caring more. I wasn’t exactly…present last year.”

He reached out to squeeze her knee. “You’ll be fine.”

She nodded, glancing in the back seat where a large backpack sat, strapped in like a child. “What’s with the bag?”

“Blankets and shit.”

She looked back at him, “Blankets?”

“Unless you wanna sit in the cold on the sand and get it everywhere?”

“And shit?”

He shrugged, clicking on his indicator and swerving round a set of road-works. “Yeah, shit.”

“I hope it’s not actual shit. I know I joke about you being a psychopath but you don’t have to take it seriously.”

“Just a few things. Matches, petrol-”

“Whoa! We’re not _actually_ trying to restart the great fire of London you know?”

He sneered. “Shut up. It’s just to get it going.”

“Alright.”

They pulled into the car park forty five minutes later, Koni grumbling about paying the tolls.

“So where’s this beach we’re defacing?”

He shrugged. ”Follow the sounds of the waves.” He slung the backpack over his shoulder. Smiling as she giggled.

“It’s fucking freezing!” She cried as the wind whipped at her, pulling the sand into its icy grips and whirling the gritty particles into the air. She flung her arms around her body to try and contain some degree of body heat.

“Shut up!” He growled over the howling, flinging her over his shoulder and she screamed as her feet left the ground, clutching onto his coat tightly.

“Koni!” she cried, desperately trying to wriggle her way off of him, but his arm was wound tightly round her waist, clamping her to his shoulder.

“Yes, my love?” His tone was innocent, but she could hear the satisfied smirk on his face as they crunched over the sand.

“You’re a little shit you know that?”

“I do as it happens. Where do you think is a good spot?”

“I don’t know I can’t bloody see can I?”

He chuckled, hoisting her up. “I’ll pick one for us then.”

He eventually set her down facing the waves. She scowled at him, but couldn’t keep the stern look straight as he started tickling her. “Stop!” She cried, doubling over on the sand. “Stop! You’ll ruin my dress!”

He ignored her, following her down onto the sand, his fingers seeking out her most sensitive ticklish spots. He pinned her down as her legs kicked out, trying to dislodge him and one manic flying foot caught him in the stomach, winding him.

He stopped, rolling off her, trying to catch his breath. But she was merciless, she took the chance to straddle him in his weakened position, her hands curling round his wrists.

“Oh the tables have turned, my sweet. Oh how they have turned.” Her hands flew up under his shirt, touching his stomach so lightly her fingers were barely there. But the feeling made him try and throw her off him.

“No please!” he moaned, his body clenching against the peculiar sensation, his hands pulling at hers.

“Please what? I’m not doing anything.” She resisted his strong grip and ran her fingertips up his chest and back down over his stomach where she drew almost non-existent circles.

He squirmed. “No! Ri.” He said through gritted teeth in a voice that was meant to be scary. But she threw her head back and laughed, he was powerless.

When she was sure he’d learnt his lesson she scrambled off him, dusting herself off and in turn brushing the sand off of his back when he stood with her.

“You maniac.”

“You started it!”

“Sit down.” He set his bag down, tugging out a large blanket that he set over the sand.

“Look at you thinking of everything.”

He grinned. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

She laughed. “Oh, such promises.” The blanket wasn’t as scratchy as it looked but she had to jump on it before the wind crept under it and swept it into the waves. “Not exactly a beach kind of day is it?”

“Hmm. It’ll be fine.”

“You reckon a bonfire’s gonna catch with all this wind?”

“Ri, it’ll be fine.”

She nodded, her eyes on the violent white horses crashing not thirty feet away from them. “Did you check the tides? We’re not going to be underwater in an hour are we?”

“When did you become such a worrier? Calm down.” He plonked himself next to her, pulling her into him so they could share body heat. “It is fucking freezing though.”

She smiled, pushing her hand under his jacket to warm it up. “It’ll be fine.” She mocked him in a low voice.

“I don’t sound like that!”

“Hmm. Record yourself one day, you’ll find that, in fact, you do.”

He snarled, reaching over to pull the backpack towards him.

“You got a heater in there?”

He shook his head, removing yet another blanket and throwing it over her shoulders. “Even better.”

“Fuck! You really _did_ come prepared!” She was impressed.

“Here.” He pulled out a cut crystal flute and handed it to her.

“Wha-” She took it from him and was further amazed as he pulled out a bottle of golden liquid, setting it between his knees and unscrewing the top. “You didn’t?” she started to laugh as she twisted the bottle towards her to read the label, though she hardly had to it was so familiar. “Medovukha?”

“Yup. Took a while to track a bottle down. Had to order it online in the end.” He filled up her glass and then his own.

Oona and Harry had honeymooned in Russia and had brought back with them an obsession for the honey-based drink that was medovukha. Along with three crates of the stuff. They’d bring out bottles for dinner parties, send them as Christmas gifts, they’d even set aside a bottle for when Naline turned eighteen.

For years all they drank was medovukha, and so did their friends.

At the funeral the stuff had been on every table, they’d toasted to her with it and swallowed the sweet mead in her honour.

“You know, sometimes, you’re not a complete asshole.”

He grinned. “It’s been known to happen.” He touched the rim of his glass to hers softly. “To Oona.”

“Oona.” She repeated, taking a cautious sip. The last time she’d drank it had been at the funeral, but it was still as sweet as ever; death had not impaired the flavour. She sighed deeply. “You’re the only one who really understands don’t you?”

He nodded. “Maybe Harry does too.”

She scoffed. “Harry won’t talk to anyone. Let alone about Oona. If he had his way Nelly wouldn’t even know she ever existed.”

“Well we’ll get her up. Soon. Then we can tell her all about her crazy, medovukha-drinking mother.”

“Yeah. Definitely.” She pressed her lips to his jaw and lay down on the blanket, he joined her, pulling her onto his chest. “Do you think we’d be together if she was still alive?”

“I dunno. I’d hope so.”

“Hmm. I might never have forgiven you. I only let you in my door because I needed you.”

“I know. Did I ever say sorry for that?”

“Probably not.”

“Well I’m sorry. I was an idiot. Worse, I was a fucking twat. I’ll never get those years back.”

She shook her head. “That’s the past, it doesn’t matter. Anyways, I forgave you when you threw that bitch out of the funeral.”

“Yeah?”

She snorted. “Yeah. Seeing you push her out of that room and screaming in her face was the first time I’d smiled since Oona died. You said some pretty horrible things.”

Koni was quiet. That wasn’t his proudest moment, taking his ex by the neck and dragging her from the wake, throwing her away from him and shouting at her, threatening her. “She wasn’t welcome. She wasn’t upsetting you, you were my only concern.”

“I had to cover Nelly’s ears when you started bitching about how terrible a fuck she was.”

“Oh God I didn’t did I?” he closed his eyes. He’d not remembered that, all he’d seen was Ri’s face as Hannah marched into the room. And then there was red. “At a funeral as well!”

She shrugged. “I don’t think anyone minded that much. Every fucker in that room thought she was a dreadful human being. Oona would have lost her shit if she saw Hannah trying to pitch up at her wake.”

“She would have wouldn’t she?”

Ri giggled. “Let’s light this fire for her then.”

***

“We should head back soon. It’s getting cold.”

“Mmm,” she wriggled closer to him, feeling the sand shifting beneath the blanket. The few stars they could see twinkled at them, the light pollution was masking the majority of them with its strange orange glow that was almost pretty. She missed small town night skies, the vast universe spread before your eyes like a sparkling blanket. It always made her feel so small, so insignificant in the world, just a flash in the pan, when she stared up at the endless lights scattered above her.

“What would you do if I died?” she whispered into the night.

He turned so violently towards her that she was dislodged from his hold and fell with an “Oof!” onto the sand.

“Why would you say that?”

“I’m just…curious.” She rubbed her shoulder as he gathered her back into him. “I can’t imagine how Harry wakes up every morning and carries on living. Could you?”

“Not in a million years. I’d throw myself on your funeral pyre.”

She smirked. “What if I wanna be buried?”

“Then I’d order a double casket so I can fit in too.”

She paused, twisting to she could run a finger down the line of his nose. “That’s kind of weird.”

“People in love do crazy things.”

“Yeah, they do don’t they?”

“Do you wanna head back?”

“Five more minutes.”

“Sure.”

The fire was dying down and the lazy orange light that was flickering on their skin was growing fainter and fainter.

“What do we do now?” She asked once the flames had died and all that was left was embers in the sand.

“Drive home.”

She shook her head, her hand stroking his stomach. “No I mean with…all of this. It’s been whole year. It’s scary.”

“I dunno. Carry on I guess.”

“I should have rang Harry.”

“No.”

She rolled onto her stomach. “He probably thinks we’ve forgotten all about him. I should at least get in touch with Petra, make sure he hasn’t…you know done something ridiculous.” She pulled out her phone, ignoring Koni’s sceptic face and finding the number. It rang out for a while, her mind began running through possibilities why Petra wouldn’t answer the phone. She was just beginning to panic, knowing that she should have called earlier, that Harry was still unstable. “Koni.” She looked at him, terror filling her eyes and just as the worst ran through her head the ringing stopped.

“Ri?” Petra sounded breathless, but not traumatised in any way.

“Pet! What took you so long?”

“Sorry, sorry. I was talking to Harry.”

“Yeah that’s what I was ringing for. Just checking everything’s…alright.”

“We’re all ok. We had some pizza, watched a film about slavery or something. It was pretty long.”

Ri grinned. Petra was listing the normalities of their day, just like Harry would want it, acting like everything was just fine. “Great. No incidences?”

“Nope. He’s not said a word, though I suspect he’s painfully aware of the day.”

“He’s the poster child for suffering in silence. I don’t reckon he’ll want to talk to me?”

“Probably not. I’ll tell him you said ‘hi’.”

“Thanks Pet. Me and Koni lit a bonfire and drank medovukha for her.”

Petra sighed deeply on the other end. “Sounds perfect. I wish I’d have been there.”

“You’re far more needed where you are. Give my little trouble maker a kiss from me yeah?”

“Sure, I’ll squeeze her extra tight.”

“Thanks.”

“I better go, thanks for calling Ri, take care.”

“You too. You watch out for that brother of yours too, he’ll never say it but he needs you.”

“I know. Bye.”

“Bye.”

She scooched onto Koni’s warm body. “Harry’s still alive which is nice.”

“Good. How’s Pet and the little monster?”

“She seemed fine, but I think she’s exhausted. A whole year of keeping Harry functioning, I bet she’s aged horribly. She didn’t say much about Nelly but if something was up she would have said.”

Koni nodded. “I’ll give him a call tomorrow, arrange for her to come see us. Maybe Pet could come too?”

“Nah. She’s better staying with Harry.”

He rubbed her arm.

“Thank you for this.” She whispered. “This means everything.”

“I know. To me too, she was important to me as well.”

They warmed themselves up in the car fifteen minutes later, holding their hands inches away from the heater to encourage the feeling back.

“The blankets were genius babe but we didn’t exactly think this through did we? Beach trips in January.” She laughed.

“Well at least it was worth it.” He knew he probably shouldn’t drive with the medovukha in his system, but they’d finished the bottle several hours ago and most of the effects had worn off. Besides he wanted to get home and curl into his warm bed with Ri and unfreeze.

“Yeah. Please don’t crash the car though. Make sure you can feel all your fingers and your toes before you drive.”

“Will do.”


End file.
